You KNOW that as soon as advertising agencies hear about this they’re going to try to develop the concept in a different direction. Imagine walking into the mall and suddenly hearing Paris Hilton in your head extolling the virtues of her perfume or into a car showroom and hearing a voice telling you how tough their ram is.

Pentagon report investigated lasers that put voices in your head

A recently unclassified report from the Pentagon from 1998 has revealed an investigation into using laser beams for a few intriguing potential methods of non-lethal torture. Some of the applications the report investigated include putting voices in people’s heads, using lasers to trigger uncontrolled neuron firing, and slowly heating the human body to a point of feverish confusion – all from hundreds of meters away.

A US citizen requested access to the document, entitled “Bioeffects of Selected Non-Lethal Weapons,” under the Freedom of Information Act a little over a year ago. There is no evidence that any of the technologies mentioned in the 10-year-old report have been developed since the time it was written.

The report explained several types of non-lethal laser applications, including microwave hearing, disrupted neural control, and microwave heating. For the first type, short pulses of RF energy (2450 MHz) can generate a pressure wave in solids and liquids. When exposed to pulsed RF energy, humans experience the immediate sensation of “microwave hearing” – sounds that may include buzzing, ticking, hissing, or knocking that originate within the head.

Found by my brother, Uncle Don

Australia has asked Indonesia’s navy to help stop thieves from stealing buoys which will be part of an Indian Ocean tsunami warning system.

Australia’s Bureau of Meteorology spokesman Geoff Love told a parliamentary hearing on Tuesday that Canberra plans to place two tsunami-warning buoys later this year in international waters between Australia and Indonesia.

“We are negotiating an agreement with the Indonesian government to make sure that they don’t become the victims of pirates and scrap metal collectors,” Love told the hearing…

“We’ve found automatic weather stations for sale in Hong Kong and don’t want that to happen again,” he said.

Better keep an eye on eBay.

Tonight, for the third time in the past year, the moon will become completely immersed in the Earth’s shadow, resulting in a total lunar eclipse.

As is the case with all lunar eclipses, the region of visibility will encompass more than half of our planet. Nearly a billion people in the Western Hemisphere, more than 1.5 billion in Europe and Africa, and perhaps another half-billion in western Asia will be able to watch — weather permitting — as the brilliant mid-winter full moon becomes a shadow of its former self and morphs into a glowing coppery ball.

Almost everyone in the Americas and Western Europe will have a beautiful view of this eclipse if bad weather doesn’t spoil the show. The moon will be high in a dark evening sky as viewed from most of the United States and Canada while most people are still awake and about…

Not until Dec. 21, 2010 will there be another total lunar eclipse; that one too will again favor the Americas.

So although we’ve had a veritable plethora of total eclipses of late, keep in mind that after next Wednesday, you’ll have to wait almost three years until your next chance to see another.

Decent graphics and schedule guide available when you click through to the article.

Hopefully, your understanding of the phenomenon will keep you from falling to your knees in fear and trembling.

Judge Robert Somma’s Mercedes-Benz E320 sedan hit a pick-up truck from behind about 11:29 p.m. on Feb. 6, the police report said. No one was hurt.

Somma, who lives in Newbury, Mass., fumbled in his purse for his driver’s license before handing it to the officer who later arrested him, the police report shows…

But lots of other people did offer those details:

When authorities removed him from the vehicle, they said he wore a black women’s cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels…

The arresting officer reported Somma smelled of alcohol, slurred his speech and fell backwards against the door frame while getting out of his car…

Somma showed his sense of style to the end. He phoned in his resignation from a vacation spot in the Caribbean. If I were him, I think I’d just stay there.

Do you think it was George W’s intent all along to broaden public acceptance of alternative lifestyles?

Thanks, joshua

The Voice of Tasmania

A SAVAGE fish that eats everything it comes across, including people, has been hooked by a British fisherman — sparking fears of a deadly invasion. The giant snakehead, originating from South-East Asia, has a mouth crammed with teeth. It’s deadly in the water, but it can also “crawl” on land and survive out of water for up to four days. The discovery of the fish in Linconshire, northern England, has caused widespread panic amongst conservationists and anglers.

An Environment Agency source told the Sun: “The reaction was, ‘Oh s***’. This is the ultimate invasive species – if it starts breeding here it’s a disaster.” Andy Alder caught the snakehead in the River Witham while using a sprat as bait for pike. He told the Sun: “It had a gob full of razor-sharp teeth. To be honest it looked terrifying.” It is believed the fish may have been smuggled in for an aquarium and illegally released.

Holy Carp, …..er Crap!

MyFox Colorado

EAGLE COUNTY — Two illegal immigrants were arrested for human smuggling in Eagle today. One of the men has been deported 14 times for human smuggling prior to today’s arrest. He is 22 years old.

At 8:21am a deputy pulled over a silver Chevy Venture van in the eastbound lane of I-70 for a license plate violation. The deputy discovered 13 illegal immigrants inside the vehicle. The driver said he planned on delivering the twelve adult males in various locations that included Denver, Iowa, and Georgia. Omar Alaverez-Mecedo, age 22, was arrested and charged with Human Smuggling, a class three felony, and operating a vehicle without a valid driver’s license, a class two misdemeanor. In the course of the investigation it was discovered that “Omar Alaverez-Mecedo’s” real name is Israel Robles-Gaytan. According to ICE, Robles-Gaytan had already been caught and deported fourteen times; he gave law enforcement officials a different name each time.

Robles-Gaytan will be charged with Criminal Impersonation and 2nd degree Forgery in addition to the charges of Human Smuggling and operating a vehicle without a valid driver’s license. Silvestre Bermudez, age 37, was arrested and charged with Possession of a Forged Instrument and Second Degree Forgery. Both men were in the country illegally. Alaverez-Mecedo admitted to previously being deported three times prior.

You know, we got a nice Supermax prison here in Colorado. How about getting this jerk a room, instead of paying his way back to Mexico?

Students in Florida must be taught that evolution is a theory and not a settled fact, according to standards that the State Board of Education just approved in Tallahasee.

“A panel of 68 experts, heavy with science teachers and scientists, drew up detailed, age-specific standards that described evolution as the basic ‘concept underlying all of biology.’ The standards said evolution was supported by ‘multiple forms of scientific evidence,'” The News-Press, a fellow Gannett paper, says. “In a series of public hearings, several conservative religious leaders and parents objected to evolution being ‘the’ accepted standard. The compromise language approved today cites ‘the scientific theory of evolution,’ making it officially a theory rather than a settled fact.”

Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports

Thanks, joshua

Just minutes before she was scheduled to referee a boy’s varsity basketball game at St. Mary’s Academy, Michelle Campbell was told she would not be allowed to work the game because she is a woman.

“When I put that shirt on, I don’t see a gender. I’m an official,” she told “Good Morning America” today in a live interview from Kansas…

“I’m just an official out there to enforce the rules of the game. … My responsibility is to make all the right calls and so that the athletes have a great game,” she said…

Campbell says that if the school changes its rules she would be happy to officiate at St. Mary’s.

Let’s hear it – one more time: “gimme that old time religion, gimme that old time religion”…

The US military has decided to keep the headquarters of its new Africa Command in Germany, after only one African nation, Liberia, offered to host it.

The US plan had been misunderstood by some African countries, said General William Ward…

There has been concern that Africom is really an attempt to protect US oil and mineral interests in Africa, amid growing competition for resources from Asian economies.

Then there are fears about the continent being drawn into the US “war on terror”.

How could someone possibly draw such conclusions?