Insert blond jokes below.
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Two blondes walk into a bar, the brunette ducks.
There’s a bar called “The Brunette Ducks?”
You’re blonde, aren’t you?
Ha-ha! Is she fired?
“Why are you staring so hard at the orange juice?”
“Because it says concentrate.”
Maybe it’s just another case of getting a thrill up her leg…
FIRST rule of being on stage..
STAY IN CHARACTER..
And God said to Adam
God
said, “Adam, I
want you to do
something for
Me.”
Adam
said, “Gladly,
Lord, what do You
want me to do?”
God
said, “Go down
into that
valley.”
Adam said, “What’s
a valley?”
God explained it to him.
Then God said,
“Cross the
river.”
Adam said, “What’s a
river?”
God explained that
to him, and then said,
“Go over to the
hill…..”
Adam said,
“What is a hill?”
So, God explained to
Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, “On
the other side of the
hill you will find a
cave.”
Adam said, “What’s a
cave?”
After God explained,
He said, “In the cave
you will find a woman.”
Adam said, “What’s a
woman?”
So God explained
that to him, too.
Then, God said, “I
want you
to reproduce.”
Adam said, “How do
I do that?”
God first said (under
His breath), “Geez…..”
And then,
just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down
into the valley,
across the river, and
over the hill, into the
cave, and finds the
woman.
Then, in
about forty-five minutes, he was back.
God,
His patience
wearing thin, said
angrily, “What is
it now?”
And Adam said…. scroll down.
(YOU’RE GOING TO
LOVE THIS!!!!!!)
*
*
“What’s a headache?”
==========
A female CNN journalist heard about a very elderly Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was,
walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
“Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name?
“Morris Feinberg,” he replied.
“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.”
“I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.”
“I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to
love their fellow man.”
“I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.”
The journalist then asked, “How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”
“Like I’m talking to a wall.”
———————————
re this “And God said to Adam …” and all your other superstition:
But yahweh already knew exactly how this would go down from the moment she created everything, so where is the joke?
God, being the alpha and omega and all, knew the end from the beginning.
What a pretentious prick.
Anyways, God recycled some stuff to make woman out of the rib of a man and then man said, “stand back, honey, as I do not know how big this thing is going to get.”
Why can’t blondes take coffee breaks?
They’re too hard to retrain.
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you have any idea where you are going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because everyone is leaving.
A blonde hiker is hiking through the woods and comes upon a river.
She spots another blonde hiker on the other side of the river.
She yells at the other blonde hiker: “Hey you, how do you get to the other side?
The blonde rolls her eyes and yells, “You ARE on the other side, dummy!”
I’ve got three younger sisters. They are all blonde.
Where’s the joke, you ask?
Trying growing up with three blonde sisters . . .
reminds me of this cute bit of animation, “The Big Snit”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=90SIuISIVB8
Cow.
(sarc/on)
Unlike you misogynists, I like women so much it never has occurred to me to call some of them dumb–regardless of the reason. I do have my priorities.
When I hear “Dumb Blond”–I think of Steve Douchey of Fox News and his even more retarded Son. Those three on Fox Talks–they are like Palin==so ignorant and FERPish you only have to repeat what they actually say to satirize them.
True Blonds—even that black haired guy.
(sarc/off…..only the truth remains.)
If a blonde says something in the forrest and nobody is there to hear — is it still dum?
I’m forcasting a decreasing chance of Wendyness.
Why did the blonde climb the chain link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
I knew a blond that got a tattoo of a conch shell on her thigh and told me that if I put my ear to the conch I could smell the ocean.