Just when you thought we were done with Mr. Pizza. What’s next for this wacky campaign season?

Herman Cain is no longer running for president. He doesn’t think he’s likely to be picked as the eventual nominee’s running mate, either. But he does have a Cabinet post in mind should the GOP win the White House next fall: secretary of Defense.
[…]
Walters, still stunned, reminded Cain of his struggles during the campaign with topics like Libya. And there is always Uzbeki-beki-beki-stan-stan.

“I have been doing my homework ever since that difficulty,” Cain said.

In a way, Defense seems like a good fit for Cain. He’s still playing defense even as a non-candidate over allegations that surfaced just as his campaign peaked about marital infidelity and sexual harassment.



  1. ABO says:

    It does not matter what party these jerks belong to. So many of them just pummel us with their overinflated egos. Just go away, you slut.

  2. Somebody says:

    It’s not that crazy, before too long, we’ll all want a position where we will be safe from indefinite imprisonment w/o charge.

    Sec. of Defense sounds pretty safe.

  3. NewFormatSux says:

    Sounds good. A budget cutter is needed for that department. Just now Obama is having them buy millions of gallons of biofuel from a campaign contributor, at $16 a gallon instead of $4 a gallon for regular.

  4. Buzz Mega says:

    Developer of the Penta-grope.

  5. honeyman says:

    Bwahaha. Just another reason why the US is becoming an international laughing stock.

  6. Skeptic > post # 27,687 ± says:

    Just make him Secretary of de fence. He won’t know de difference.

  7. tcc3 says:

    “Guys, I want to play too. Hello? Guys? Anyone?”

  8. msbpodcast says:

    He just realized that the military buys a lot of food and if he could get in as secretary of defense, he could get the military to buy his pizzas.

    Like I always say:

    The only thing worse than getting stuck with somebody who didn’t want the job is getting stuck with some idiot who did, figuring it was going to lift him a few rungs up the social/economic ladder.

    This is a shameless opportunistic grab for your wallets by a morally bankrupt [expletive deleted] who wants to bring back lynching as a form of political expression.

  9. John E. Quantum says:

    Cain is really just angling for a major role in the upcoming “Undercover Brother II”

  10. Gary, the dangerous infidel says:

    Democrats are going to really miss Herman Cain. It was always good for a chuckle when Cain accused Democrats of secretly sabotaging his campaign because they feared the power of a conservative black man’s candidacy. Meanwhile, back in Realityland, he was actually the Democrats’ wet dream of who the Republican nominee would be.

    I’m just glad to see that Cain is always willing to serve his country if the office or position is high enough, and that he’s still ready to study up for a brand new job as challenging as Secretary of Defense.

    Dream big, boys and girls, because this is America!

  11. eighthnote says:

    Translated: I’d like a cabinet position so that I can eventually leave and make the big money whoring myself to a large company that wants access to the inside track. Yes, I want to be a whore when I grow up.

  12. orchidcup says:

    O. K. That’s it. I’m done.

    I’m gonna hunker down in my bunker and go back to sleep.

    Y’all wake me up when this nightmare is over.

  13. deegee says:

    Everyone’s got it all wrong…
    He didn’t say he wanted to be “Secretary of Defense”…
    He said he wanted to be “Secretary of duh Fence”.
    You know, the one that they are building along the south border between the USA, Mexico, Libya, and Iran; and eventually along the north border between the USA and Siberia.

  14. The0ne says:

    Nothing beats Walters being stunned and uttering a surprised “what?!” That people is just pure classic if you know your history 🙂


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