Calling a child ‘naughty’ can traumatise them, say experts
Parents should not call their youngsters ‘naughty’ because it damages their self-confidence, a childcare expert controversially claimed.
Annette Mountford, chief executive of the parenting organisation, Family Links, said that children’s self-esteem is run down by such branding, even if they are behaving badly.
Parents must not shout at their youngsters and should only call their behaviour naughty, rather than saying they are naughty themselves.
They should also stop referring to the “naughty step” – a disciplining technique from TV’s Supernanny – in case their child thinks the word refers to them.
When asked whether she had ever shouted at a child, Mrs Mountford, who has two grown-up daughters, said: “Yes, of course I have, I’m human. But golly you feel awful afterwards.
True Story – My wife teaches children dance, and a parent withdrew her child becuase she overheard on of the teachers tell the children “Not to be naughty”. The mother stated “We don’t use that kind of language in our house…”
Now that i think of it, maybe it isnt such a good word. Now that i think of the connentations.
#26, Mr G.P
Thank you. I appreciate the correction. All my life my spelling was atrocious and grammar just as bad. It has only been since “spell check” that I can create a sentence without mistakes. And, even though my grammar has improved too, as you point out, it still needs improvement.
Thank you again.
#31, good point.
It reminds me of a question I heard years ago. What is the difference between a juvenile delinquent and a rambunctious child? It depends upon whether you are the parent.
Every mother thinks their child is really a good kid, just misunderstood. Every neighbor can tell you with certainty that the same kid belongs in juvenile hall.
Hmm – My parents never made the distinction. I’m not screwed up. Neither is my sister, or my wife, or … well, you get the picture. I also rode my bike without a helmet. My parents were horrible, weren’t they?
#28 What my wife and i did was create a charactor.
Stupid Steve.
So anytime my kids were being bad or what ever i would tell them
“you and steve have a lot in common right now:”
“dont be like steve.”
HEY… SCREW YOU MAN!
#31 True Story – My wife teaches children dance, and a parent withdrew her child becuase she overheard on of the teachers tell the children “Not to be naughty”. The mother stated “We don’t use that kind of language in our house…”
Comment by Chris — 10/18/2006 @ 5:45 am
Is there any chance that the language she was refering to was English? That is a delightful story and I hope “foul mouthed” didn’t get any flack over it.
More PC idiocy in the schools:
Some School Districts Ban ‘Tag’
Well, lets see…the kids I remember from childhood who’s parents ALWAYS called them “evil” “bad” “naughty” and “would end up in prison”…among other defining terms….all ended up IN JAIL!!! They turned from sweet kids to 7/11 store robbers, bums, drug addicts and cretins. I lost touch with them years ago. The kids who were beaten to within an inch of their lives became wife beaters and/or beaten wives (go figure?!!), totally bum boozers, and/or have since dropped out of society. The kids who’s parents alternated between beatings and talking to’s have done moderately ok. Some have had years of counseling, and a few failed marriages. Most have had major bouts of depression and flirting with drink and drugs. But, overall, they did — a cautionary — “alright”. The kids who’s parents talked to them, reasoned with them, were consistent and tried to listen to them…have all ended up doing well in life. Very well indeed.
The less “baggage” you inflict, the less kids need to overcome later in life. Recovery from childhood takes a lot of time and energy better spent on being an adult, and getting on with one’s life.
As for all the “I was spanked, beaten, yelled at…all the time..and I turned out okay” is denial. Did you REALLY do as well as you could have done if your parents opted for a different route of parenting?
It is EASY to hit kids and call them names. Parenting them takes a little more work.
I dunno…this is after 50 years of study…..I’d say