TNS: Made from only the finest circumcised baby foreskins
Since the beginning of time, people have been slathering themselves in all sorts of bizarre substances in the hopes of becoming more beautiful.
Modern technology has exposed a lot of these concoctions to be worthless (or, in the case of Elizabethan-era women using lead paint to lighten their skin, very harmful) and also given us less disgusting alternatives (like synthetic dyes replacing bat poop in mascara).
And yet, the weirdness continues.
Here are some odd ingredients used in beauty products and treatments today.
Snail Secretion: In 2009 Michael Todd Cosmetics introduced Knu Anti-Aging Tri-Complex, which includes a 90 percent concentration of, yes, actual snail goo. They claim the (purified) secretion has excellent regenerative properties and helps prevent and correct wrinkles and loss of firmness.
And then the list gets weird…
If women want to stay young looking, stay out of the damn sun, quit going to tanning beds.
Teen girls tan like crazy and by the time they hit 30 their skin looks like a 90-year old vietnamese man’s butt.
I mostly just have bacon and chip grease on my face.
Well, at least we know that women can feel confident ordering a small tube since rubbing it will turn it into a large vat that lasts for years.
Yes. I know that’s a very bad bastardization of an old mohel joke that ended with “That it?! A wallet? Well, if you rub it, it becomes a briefcase.”
I was circumcised as a baby and it hurt so bad I didn’t walk for a year.
I go with #1. Take care of your body including your skin and it will last longer though genetic factors can break even the best laid plans.
Most of this stuff is just designed to separate a chump from their money.
>> Rick Cain said, on July 11th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
>> If women want to stay young looking, stay out of the damn sun,
“Staying out of the sun” has to be some of the worst advice I’ve ever heard in my life!
Yet, I hear it all the time — especially directed at kids: “The sun will give you cancer.”
The really good stuff in life is under the sun. Every chance I get, I take my child out into the sun — up on mountain and on the beaches, especially. Maybe I’m putting her at risk for cancer but I’m also giving her a much broader experience than many of her friends.
… and, I’m not too worried. I figure we humans evolved under the sun.
silly Hoooomans….
make a creamy paste of baking soda with water and wash your face (whole body in fact) with that..you will not believe how smooth your skin will feel, and younger looking over time if you stick with it.
great at reducing flaky scalps to null…feels tingly, like the mentholated dandruff shampoos. use direct or put a teaspoon in your shampoo.
-also equally good at getting burnt oil stains off pans, stainless steel, highly polished or otherwise…
put 4-5 heaping tablespoons in a 1 quart sized sprayer with water and it will clean walls (and floors) as good if not better than any crap you buy in a store.
fwiw: if some may have noticed…the past few years, baking soda boxes [in the US anyway] now have a “Drug Facts” panel on them.
-so now its suddenly a drug?
I expect this “WTF moment” means that as soon as possible..it will be regulated by the Codex lunatics of the WHO/WTO etc…and its price will maybe go up by a factor of 20x.. –esp with the current BS assault on “sodium” and/or salt. Stock up!
-anyway… screw the scam that is the facial cream industry and just use baking soda..its a lot safer, and cheaper..
remember…the answers to *all* problems were solved eons ago and are utterly simple..not complex, -as today’s wants you to believe.
THINK. -and turn off your tv.
-s
Actually, baby foreskins are in most cosmetics. Lipsticks and stuff. Very appetizing.
Weird? You bet!
Anyone know where PENICILLIN came from?!
Who would have guessed ROTTEN CHEESE would benefit mankind by helping prevent some pretty serious diseases?
So if bat poop or baby foreskins is the latest fad then how about some SCIENCE to back that up? Anyone THINK to even ASK?!
…Somehow these IDIOT REPORTERS just keep missing the stories right in front of them.
Ummm didn’t Penn and Teller have an episode of Bullshit a few years ago where they convinced people to let snails crawl all over their face as part of a “beauty treatment”?
Maybe “Michael Todd Cosmetics” is a subsidiary of Penn and Teller inc.?
The craziest thing is that some of this things may actually work and it wouldn’t surprise me in the key to stop aging was something disgusting and crazy nobody in their right mind would EVER do, like eating a good dose of shark’s poop every morning, or rubbing maggots paste in their eyes or something…
I remember the shock of a very uptight female classmate in elementary school when somebody told her that fertilizer was mostly some animal’s shit… she just couldn’t process the fact that flowers and fruit could be grown basically from sprinkling shit in the ground, plants basically EAT it and grow… And it is pretty amazing if you think about it, so why not? Maybe letting slugs slither all over your face could actually be beneficial, who knows?… the world can be that weird.
Um… funny jokes, but if you think about it, foreskins don’t get hard or engorge during an erection.
If you really want to know something weird, there are actually people who believe there is a god who created everything. Even more weird, they think it has human feelings… and it’s predictably… male.