“I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” says Bill Clinton.

Right up there with excuses like the Twinkie Defense in believability. On the other hand, would you admit this if it weren’t true? Or desperate?

According to a recent deposition given by Republican Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons, he has not had sex in 15 years, he didn’t sleep with a former Playboy model, and perhaps most surprisingly, he doesn’t tell jokes very well.

CBS affiliate KLAS-TV reports that Gibbons was recently deposed regarding allegations of an assault that occurred in 2006. The federal civil suit was brought by Chrissy Mazzeo, a cocktail waitress who says that Gibbons assaulted and groped her in a parking lot after spending hours drinking at a Las Vegas restaurant.

The alleged assault never resulted in any criminal charges, but on February 5 of this year, the governor was deposed for four hours by Mazzeo’s attorney, Bob Kossack. During the deposition, Gibbons claimed that he hasn’t been sexually intimate with any woman since 1995, and that he’s “living proof that you can survive without sex for that long.”
[…]
Other things the Governor denied during the deposition: he didn’t play footsie with Chrissy Mazzeo on the night of the alleged assault, because he was wearing cowboy boots, and he didn’t tell her any raunchy jokes, because he isn’t a good joke teller.

Yes, we Nevadans are ashamed of our governor, for many reasons.




  1. Curtis E. Flush says:

    What’s the point of living in Nevada if you’re going to be celibate?

  2. Improbus says:

    There is no point to living in Nevada. Once Lake Mead has dried up you won’t be able to give away real estate in that state. Hookers are only entertaining as long as you have money.

  3. The0ne says:

    Many families have moved to Nevada from a few years back. Great homes, nice communities…then. Now as #2 said, you probably won’t be able to give them away 😀 Reminds me of Ohio…or was it Idaho where it was projected the city would grown and companies would be storming in. Tons of families moved their and half of them paid by companies to do so. Now, it’s a barren land 😀

  4. deowll says:

    Why was this posted? Oh, it was a very slow news day.

  5. Buzz says:

    And the jury holds the defendant not guilty of rape and/or assault.

    We DO find him guilty of being completely entertainment-free and recommend the death penalty.

  6. m.c. in l.v. says:

    If Gibbons’ claims are true (which I highly doubt), then he would be doubly useless, once as a governor and once as a man. He may not have had “sex” in 15 years but he is definitely screwing over the state and it’s citizens. The sooner we can dump our house the sooner we will be out of this hell hole!

  7. Dallas says:

    He has weak case even though it is common knowledge that Republicans are largely asexual.
    On the other hand, such misconduct is very common with this crowd.

    I’m sure we can all agree he has no case.


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