This is either convoluted satire or I am even more of an old fart than my I thought, completely out of touch with this generation. And what the hell is a concentrator? Just get me my Geritol, my Lynard Skynard 8-tracks and get off my lawn!
Facebook ‘poke’ leads to awkward one-nighter
A March 31 “poke” on Facebook.com led to an encounter over the weekend between two seniors that “can only be termed an extraordinarily awkward one-night stand,” according to participant Ethan Gold ’06.
The chain of events that led to the uncomfortable, no-strings-attached sex in Eva Larson ’06’s Young Orchard dorm room began last Friday. Sitting at her Rockefeller Library carrel, Larson, a modern culture and media concentrator who stayed in Providence over spring break to finish her senior thesis on “Deconstructing the Meta-Narratives of Postmodern Celebrity Weeklies,” was procrastinating on Facebook.com.
Unsure of how to move beyond the topic of God and religion, copulation of the most “awkward, perfunctory variety” ensued, according to Larson.
“I just wasn’t that into it. I don’t know she just seemed so… nonchalant,” Gold said. He added he was particularly put off by Larson’s insistence that the two listen to a “weird” mix – featuring bands like Cannibal Ox – for the entirety of his stay.
This somehow implies that there are non-awkward one-nighters.
I call shennanigans.
I’m grabbing my broom – I call shennanigans
Your ONLY confused about “concentrator” thing??!! The whole story confuses me. What the $@#$% are people studying these days in college anyway? She wanted to show him her books???
This is all really specific to Brown University. As a recent Brown undergrad (Class of 2000) let me translate.
At Brown, there are no “majors” there are “concentrations.” There is a department called “Modern Culture and Media” — a combination of media studies, cultural studies, Critical Theory, literary theory, etc. So, “a modern culture and media concentrator” is an Ivy League version of a Communication Major.
Yes, this whole thing is a joke, and the joke is on the hipsters that fill this department.
This has to be the funniest thng I have read all week. It sounds like somthing you would read in a Playboy cartoon.
“Unsure of how to move beyond the topic of God and religion, copulation of the most “awkward, perfunctory variety” ensued”
I’m like Uncle Dave, I was just looking at some pictures on Flickr – yesterday – and one of them had multiple “poke” tags added…
Don’t bogart that Geritol, Dave. 🙂
Sounds like these kids are trying to get their degrees with a Cum Louder.
My guess was that concentrator meant boiling juice. I figured that was one of the majors in those schools back east.
“I have a Masters in juice boiling. Specialty: Tomato.”
In a world where children are taught that they are simply animals, they grow up to act accordingly.
Brown tuition $33888
Dorm room for late night trysts with someone you wouldn’t otherwise
care to listen to (or sit in coach next to) $5690
the realization that you actually wasted time studying useless crap
(only after graduation) priceless
Captin Wesker
“In a world where children are taught that they are simply animals, they grow up to act accordingly. ”
That’s right! Teaching evolution is the cause of this behavior. Give me a break!
What problem doesn’t teaching religion solve?
this isn’t just Brown–this is actually a pretty biting satire of liberal arts schools in general. i just graduated from U Chicago, and this is frighteningly on point–from the totally plausible “concentration” (we call them that too) to the Can Ox reference (certainly better hook up music than Prince).
#8
Yeah, that’s right… you get better kids if you tell them
* that a human was made out of another human’s rib
* a man was walking on water
* 5 barley loaves and two fish is enough food to feed 5,000 men
* to fear an imaginary “friend” that will punish you if you do something that the church says is a sin
* to trust the priest, no matter what he does to you
* nothing about the bad things that religion has caused
Seems there really is a concept called ‘To Educated’, let us hope it doesnt breed.
Now, c’mon, what are you reading college newspapers for?
They are all incomprehensible to us over 50 (well, 60).
I was recently at Berkeley – where I was a graduate student 40 years ago – and discovered that there is a Mario Savio cafe. I was tempted to tell a few students what it was really like in 1965 but they were all pre-occupied by their iPods.
Yeah – get off my lawn right now!
Is this for real?
What problem doesn’t teaching religion solve?
World Peace.
Great article – worthy of The Onion IMO
I’m over 30 and have no idea what this is about
10, 12: Chee, you guys sure know how to jump to conclusions.