I’ll bet you can find a lot of Cadillacs left behind too. Grab ’em!

I heard about this ridiculous Rapture Index while watching the Daily Show. I had to make sure this thing wasn’t fake news. It’s not. What a great crackpot website. Huzzah. Dig around to find some rapturists and their lectures. What a way to spend time!

A taste:

I have been an avid student of Bible prophecy since 1989. And if my brand of prophetic interpretation must be categorized, then categorize me as a dispensational, premillennial, pretribulational literalist. I’ll wear that that title proudly. I believe it, research it, write about it, teach it, and preach it. However, despite spending hundreds of hours poring over ancient historical texts and the ancient Biblical prophecies themselves, you can be sure that I will not, nor do I ever intend to, force my opinions and conclusions upon anyone. Share yes, force no.

Gee, how nice. The guys seems like a dream date for you women out there.

And, or course for all you who see the ends time ahead, there is now a video game coming out this year called Left Behind: Eternal Forces based on the Left Behind novels. You can read about it here. Maybe you can order a copy. Makes a great gift for those upbeat rapturists cheering for the end of times! What fin, er fun.



  1. Higghawker says:

    John, You are correct!

    The word rapture isn’t even in the Bible.

    This is a total mis-understanding of the Scriptures. Jesus has fullfiled all prophecy. It ended when he died on the cross. Mt:5:17: Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

    What is really sad is many many people would rather beleive the “Left Behind” fiction, than study the Bible.

    Most rapture believers confuse the destruction of Jerusalem, with the end of the world: Matt. 24 Just as the Jews of that time mis-understood, many people today make the same mistake!

  2. John Paradox says:

    Everybody wants to go to heaven
    but nobody wants to die.

    Old song lyrics.. so appropriate

    J/P=?

  3. John Schumann says:

    Pretty strange stuff; there’s a killer app. here somewhere.

  4. Smartalix says:

    I believe it was Barnum who once said something along the lines of that it was a sin to allow a fool to keep their money.

    Anybody want to buy a screensaver that blinks the rapture index, updated in real-time? Only $19.99 per month!

  5. Esteban says:

    I like how the website has highs and lows like a weather forecast. Maybe they should make a metric undex for non-US readers., like 158 rapture index = 1469 kiloraptures (kR).

  6. RTaylor says:

    The Apostle Paul was convinced the world would end in his lifetime. This resulted in his frenzied travels and ministry. His timing was wrong also. There is a morbid fascination for an apocalypse that has always appealed to those with a certain personality. They seemed to be more inthralled with the damnation of others than their personal salvation. The older I get the more appeal Buddhism has.

  7. Esteban says:

    One more thing, did you guys read the FAQ? These guys have every single question about faith mapped out with simple one paragraph answers. Like “Is Christianity better than other religions? The guys says yes, Or, “Is it okay to say ‘gosh’ or darn’? To which the website replies that it’s not a hell-worthy sin, but it should be avoided nonetheless. Curiously enough, the FAQ on masturbation is surprisingly progressive, giving a “nobody’s perfect” answer. Weird.

  8. Tim Champ says:

    Hey John – you should be right in with these guys – they oppose the Patriot Act too! They consider it movement towards the mark of the beast.

    I’m a rapture believing Christian, but one thing I know for sure – the Bible says we cannot know when it will happen, but instead should always be prepared to meet our maker. Not by killing the infidels (ala Muslims), but instead by sharing our faith.

    These guys seem mostly harmless to me though, and not worthy of the ridicule leveled at them. They even say that they don’t want to force you to believe what they say. (Which is good, cause it is a central precept of Jesus’ teaching – it has to be a free will choice of the heart, not the choice at the end of a sword)

    Anyway, there are much better people to ridicule – or did we forget about Mel Gibson and the Iranian President calling for a new holocaust to eradicate Isreal?

  9. asperante says:

    If the end of times is here… why pre-order??? you will be dead before you get it 😀

  10. James Hill says:

    So you’re saying I should put more faith in the Vista release schedule than the Rapture index? They both have about the same rate of change.

  11. Noam Sane says:

    All I know is, the ‘upskirt’ crowd is gonna love the Rapture.

  12. John says:

    Let these crazy people think what they will. Rapture theology that they embrace is not founded upon scriptue that they embrace as scripture, and is a very very reacent theology from the early 1830s. Thus the majority of Christians have not embraced nor do embrace this theology, yet the most vocal Christians like to shout it out and make everyone think it is a normall Christian theology… I have no problem with them believing it, but when they try (on purpose or not) to make it l;ook like a standared Christian theology I do mind. GERR

  13. Mike Voice says:

    5 Maybe they should make a metric undex for non-US readers., like 158 rapture index = 1469 kiloraptures (kR).

    11 If the end of times is here… why pre-order??? you will be dead before you get it

    12 So you’re saying I should put more faith in the Vista release schedule than the Rapture index? They both have about the same rate of change.

    Thank You, for the laughs.

    Kiloraptures (kR) = LOL

  14. ChrisMac says:

    how many kiloraptures (kR) does it take to keep this zepplin afloat?

  15. JimS says:

    Rapture Index Hits 158!! Give Your Money Away, It Will Do You No Good!

    Bingo! John, I believe that you have hit on a wonderful way to screw with those rapture folks, for fun and money.

    All we have to do is set up our own pro-rapture website. A website for the ‘true’ believers. People who understand that God knows not only what they say, God knows that which is in their minds and hearts.

    When Jesus returns, he isn’t going to waste his time rapturing the non-believers, or those that can’t make up their own mind. Jesus is coming to save the ‘True Believers’ the ones that know deep down in their hearts what the bible promises us. The signs are set, the day of judgment is upon us, the rapture is emanate. In fact, many people believe that the rapture has already started. Haven’t you noticed the recent increase in missing people in the news?

    [Edited — pls read comment guidelines]

  16. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    Has anyone read the rest of the rapture site?

    I am told again and again to be respectful of the differences between all of us and bla bla bla…

    But these people are loons. Crazy. Cuckoo for CocoPuffs. Nutbags. Insane in the membrane. Looped. Damaged. Whacked out on Jesus juice. Freaks. Several sandwiches short of a picnic. Fred Rogers and Charlie Manson all rolled into one. Drunk on the Kool-Aid. Not all there. Struck by the glaze. Queer as three dollar bills. Should I go on?

    This world is full of political ideologies, religions, dogmas, etc… But if you want to be taken seriously, you gotta be serious. Reading these articles are like reading the prose of little children with unusually good grammar.

    I’m sorry… But I have to reserve the limited amount of respect I have to share for people who at least have semi-valid worldviews. I mean, I’d rather spend a week in a cabin with James Hill than to take an hour over lunch to hang with these Bible buddies.

  17. Louise Norman says:

    The now-famous “Rapture Index” is helping to fulfill the most important and most focused on “sign” in Matthew 24: DECEPTION. If the RI would add up the total numerical value of its own deception, it would self-destruct! Actually it should be called the “Second Advent Index” since its “precursors” are fulfilled during the tribulation and point to only the final down-to-earth advent and not to a supposed “pretrib” rapture that no pre-1830 church ever taught. At the same time, RI inventor Todd Strandberg declares that the “pretrib” rapture is “signless” – which is believable if “precursors” can’t be signs! (Reading “Pretrib Rapture Diehards,” “Thomas Ice (Bloopers),” “Open Letter to Todd Strandberg,” “Pretrib Hypocrisy,” and “Appendix F: Thou Shalt Not Steal” on Google or Yahoo engines can be mighty stimulating and illuminating! ) Louise

  18. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #19 – #Has anyone read the rest of the [rapture, scientology, catholic, baptist, hindu, druid, judaism, sikh, buddhism, tao, shinto, mormon, pagan, rastafari, jehovah witness, jainism, zoroastrian, etc.] site?

    Comment by William K. Wolfrum — 8/5/2006 @ 10:37 am

    I hear you and yes. No. It’s true. It’s not true… Sometimes. maybe.

    Every relative I have on my mother’s side is a Jehova’s Witness. So I’ll make no apology when I say that is a religion of idiots. Scientologists are likely to be about as dumb. I thought Zoroastrians died off over 2000 years ago, but maybe I’m wrong. But anyone looking objectively cannot make a blanket statement about every belief system. Most Catholics, Protastants, Islamists, Hindus, etc., are actually pretty reasonable people. They are much like most atheists in that regard.

    Yes. The guy with a bent against Jews can say what i said about rapture fetishists about Jews, but he’s wrong. Opinions and views are not equal. We are not all equal. Quite frankly, some of us just aren’t smart enough to sit at the big table, and that is just the way it is, and if people are sad at the small table, I’m sorry, but you’ll sit there until you are smart enough to move up here with us, which you’ll probably never be, but that’s just too damn bad.

    I have no more time for sparing feelings. Some belief systems are stupid beyond imagining and need to be shut out because all of our futures depend on it. It isn’t just evolution vs. creationism or stem cell research, which are pretty important. It’s life and death. As I type, missiles are being exchanged between Hezbola and Isreal, gunfire between the United States and extremists Muslims in Iraq. Fred White is marching around the funerals of American servicemen with gay bashing signs. And if I am to believe certain sources, there are God Squad believers in our own government who seem to want to hasten armegeddon to fulfil rapture fantasies. The imaginary gods of the world are making innocent people die.

    These nuts need to be marginalized and through discourse, not violence, erradicated. They are threatening my children’s very future. I won’t say we need to discard the idea of being politically correct because I believe the terminology “politically correct” is just a BS term that the right uses against the left like a Klansmen uses a racial slur against blacks. But I do not want a big tent. We don’t need everyone to come together. We need serious minds to come together and if you aren’t in the tent, well, too bad. Pray on your own time, there are real issues that need addressed and these kooks have proven that they just don’t have the cranial muscle to help get the job done.

    And by the way… If anyone out there who fits the rapture nut mold doesn’t like being called stupid, then I suggest they stop being stupid.

  19. Gene says:

    First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.”


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