Teen’s breasts bust robbers

MANILA: Men will be men, and will always be distracted by women’s breasts.

This proved to be true yesterday after three suspected robbers were busted and their crime spree cut short at the sight of a pretty teener’s big bosom.

Now jailed in Caloocan City and facing robbery charges are Michael Danao, alias Tuklaw, 28; as well as Edmundo and Benjamin (last name withheld), both 17, all residents of Sawata, Maypajo.

The suspects were on their fourth heist for the day when collared.

Caloocan City police chief Senior Supt. Geronimo Reside said the teener with the distracting breasts, AJ ( not her real name), was robbed at knifepoint by the suspects at 11:40 p.m. on J.P. Rizal St., Maypajo.

Danao was reportedly smitten by the victim’s beauty and sexy body, prompting him to mash her breasts.

“Dahil sa pagkagulat at takot, hindi agad nakakilos ang biktima. Pero nakitang lahat ng ilang barangay tanod, kaya hinabol sila,” a prober gathered.

Danao was caught on Sawata St., Bgy. 35. He later pointed to his alleged cohorts’ whereabouts.

Anybody want to translate the “prober’s” thoughts?



  1. John Scott says:

    Translation of quoted Tagalog text: She was shocked and frightened,
    and couldn’t move.

  2. jarred P. says:

    the prober thought he heard her said “hey I charge american sailors ten bucks to do that!”

  3. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    “Danao was reportedly smitten by the victim’s beauty and sexy body, prompting him to mash her breasts.”

    Interesting use of English.

  4. JSR says:

    Here’s the transalation : “Because of panic and fear, the victim was not able to move. In the meantime, several “barangay tanod” (neighborhood watch group) saw and came after him.” Hope that helps.

  5. JSR says:

    Sorry, it should be “shocked and frighted”, not “panic and fear” 🙂

  6. Mike Abundo says:

    Jarred P.: I’d call you a racist, but what you describe happens way too often.

  7. prophet says:

    $10?!?!? She charged me $25! I got ripped off.

  8. nameless prick says:

    Hey wat r we talkin about my homies?

  9. nameless prick says:

    i like boobs 😀

  10. chris pucker says:

    Now im a black man and and i read the article and me bein a black man i know how to please a lady and if that was me it would ve been on like a parate and a pirate yo he s thinkin quick squeeze im thinkin bam bam thank yuh mam naaah mean and me bein a blingin singin ringin rapin tapin wealth scrotum im kinda intella intelli what euer da word is yeah dats me case and pinto bean is that don t you think a brother would beat the meat in a back stage barrel before he tried that thats just me spittin the truuf hood dog sighnin out yo


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