“Are you my new, sweet bitch?”
I was going to post this with a humorous reference to Ken Lay, then he had the nerve to up and die (or did he?!?). Then Rush didn’t even get charged in his Viagra sneek. But there’s still Skilling, whoever REALLY killed Nicole Simpson (haven’t heard about OJ’s fervent search for a while), the evil wireless bandwidth swipers and grandmothers downloading Nat King Cole from the Internet who might benefit, although many seem like common sense. Of course, lack of common sense is probably what got you in the Big House.
How to Deal With Being in Prison
You were accused of a crime and after a trial, you were found guilty and given prison time. You will spend most of your time in a locked building with people that have done as bad or worse than you. If you behave, it might go easier on you. Nonetheless, you will have to make the best of it if you are going to survive.
6) Brace yourself for the social dynamics of prison. There are certain ways to behave towards others if you want to get by:
* Do not become a ‘punk’ (girlfriend). While becoming a punk might give you some fleeting, temporary protection from other inmates, you will be a virtual slave to one. Punks are used and abused. They are traded away in card games and sold for cigarettes. It is not a path to long term survival in prison.
* Do not snitch. If you see something illegal or violent, walk away and do not divulge any information if questioned later. Being known as a snitch will make bad things happen to you. (Of course, you have to decide whether your fellow inmates or the authorities are more dangerous. If you’re questioned and lie to the jailkeepers, you can get in serious legal trouble.)
Scary $hit…
Ultimately you should avoid any confrontation if you can, but if you can’t avoid one, react quickly and with aggression.
And after a few [several] years of that, they are supposed to re-integrate with society?
Do not become a ‘punk’ (girlfriend). While becoming a punk might give you some fleeting, temporary protection from other inmates, you will be a virtual slave to one.
Reminds me of a guide to “hooking-up” in prison, that NPR’s This American Life used in their episode on Prison. I believe the segment was called “Who’s your Daddy?”
Written by a guy who contacted AIDS after being raped by a prison rape-gang… in which he explained how guys who were not strong enough to defend themselves were “safer” by hooking-up with a “protector”.
And some people think the death penalty is cruel & unusual….
Don’t ever bend over for the soap in the shower?
Found it. I must have heard it as a repeat, because it was originally broadcast in January 1999!
http://www.thislife.org/
The TAL episode title is “Lockup”, and it is episode #119
Act Three. Who’s Your Daddy? A reading of a pamphlet written by ex-con Stephen Donaldson for heterosexual men who are about to enter prison,…
And a great comedy bit by Rick Reynolds, as well…
Act Four. Open Your Big Mouth. What happens when you go into a place – in this case a prison – where there are all sorts of codes about what you’re never supposed to say … and you say every one of them. Rick Reynolds tells a story … about performing stand-up comedy at a maximum security prison just before Christmas a few years ago.
They stream it, and/or you can buy a copy.
snitches get stitches
Martha Stewart got along well by cooking and adding decorator touches as needed in “the big house.” Somehow, I don’t think those skill sets would do me a lot of good while sharing a cell with Bruno, the half-man, half-ape who likes to cuddle after raping me 😉
What’s the link to the original NPR show. The one on TAL isn’t what I remembered.