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As a toddler, he was put on a throne and worshipped as by monks who treated him like a god. But the boy chosen by the Dalai Lama as a reincarnation of a spiritual leader has caused consternation – and some embarrassment – for Tibetan Buddhists by turning his back on the order that had such high hopes for him.

Instead of leading a monastic life, Osel Hita Torres now sports baggy trousers and long hair, and is more likely to quote Jimi Hendrix than Buddha.

Yesterday he bemoaned the misery of a youth deprived of television, football and girls. Movies were also forbidden – except for a sanctioned screening of The Golden Child starring Eddie Murphy, about a kidnapped child lama with magical powers. “I never felt like that boy,” he said.

He is now studying film in Madrid and has denounced the Buddhist order that elevated him to guru status. “They took me away from my family and stuck me in a medieval situation in which I suffered a great deal,” said Torres, 24, describing how he was whisked from obscurity in Granada to a monastery in southern India. “It was like living a lie,” he told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo. Despite his rebelliousness, he is still known as Lama Tenzin Osel Rinpoche and revered by the Buddhist community.

According to the foundation biography, another leader suspected Torres was the reincarnation of the recently deceased Lama Yeshe when he was only five months old. In 1986, at 14 months, his parents took him to see the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala, India. The toddler was chosen out of nine other candidates and eventually “enthroned”.

At six, he was allowed to socialise only with other reincarnated souls – though for a time he said he lived next to the actor Richard Gere’s cabin. By 18, he had never seen couples kiss. His first disco experience was a shock. “I was amazed to watch everyone dance. What were all those people doing, bouncing, stuck to one another, enclosed in a box full of smoke?”

Found by Ian Warner




  1. I want to be a god. Not some mamby pansie commie ass Buddhist god, but a proper god, like Zeus or Odin….

  2. hazza says:

    WTF? You use a BMP as the photo? Yeah, real dial-up/bandwidth friendly… hey Dvorak there is this new type of image called JPG… it makes the image MUCH smaller, I know it’s only about 30 years old but you should check it out.

  3. Patrick says:

    #2 I always liked Hermes… Hmmm.

  4. bobbo says:

    Wow. Turned his back on silly idolatry and mindless religion. I could follow that guy as I like Jimi Hendrix too.

    Quite nice to see the human spirit flying free. Hope he has the life he wants.

  5. interglacialman says:

    I bet he ends up regretting this career change in a few years time.

  6. Dallas says:

    I vote the E-Trade baby as the next Dalai Lama

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=6vW9gUmooFg

  7. Jägermeister says:

    #7 – Dallas

    LOL

  8. Improbus says:

    This just goes to show all “organized” religions are basically stupid, dishonest and false.

  9. Publius says:

    This story is a case in point demonstrating why representative government, while sucky, is just better.

  10. Sister Mary Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection says:

    Man, these gods are some ungrateful little fucks.

  11. Special Ed says:

    #3 – Seriously, you can’t find anything better to whine about? By some bandwidth you cheap fucktard.

  12. AlanaBay says:

    Guess it was hard to predict the power of rock and roll several millennia ago when lama selection procedures were set into play. Is it a coincidence that the Tibetan Buddhist were chased out of China around 1959 as Elvis was on the rise? I think not. 🙂

  13. Jägermeister says:

    #12 – Special Ed

    His ISP only supports 300 baud.

  14. soundwash says:

    #10 – “representative government is just better”

    LOL, while at one time that may have sounded like a good idea, given the [corrupted] turmoil most all representative governments are
    in today, I have to ask:

    Just who do you think they are representing?

    -s

  15. Now for something completely different says:

    Silly people, you find your spiritual leader by old white men voting in secret and blowing black smoke out a chimney in a marble palace paid for by money stolen from raping and pillaging the heathen nations around you. I mean really, reincarnation…THAT’S just silly! As if some little Asian kid could be our spiritual leader, it’s obviously a Nazi youth with Prada shoes. Common sense!

    Religions are insane childish superstitions which would be “cute” except too often in history their followers tend to kill or torture those who don’t agree with them.

    FYI – This kid wasn’t supposed to be a god, just a reborn teacher. The West doesn’t seem to be able to distinguish between the eastern tradition of veneration and honor of an elder or teacher and ‘worship’ like we do with gods, so it all seems the same to us…but it’s not.

  16. McCullough says:

    Hey, I can’t wait for the reality show…..”I married the Dalai Lama”

    This is going to kick some ass!!!!!

  17. I was God first says:

    You’ll be laughing out the other side of your ass when I throw you into HELL!

  18. Thomas says:

    Yes, but will he still be able to dole out total consciousness to his caddies so that he can stiff them on the tip?

  19. Mr. Fusion says:

    Mr wife worships me. Every night she gives me burnt offerings.

    (drum roll)

    Then she flails her arms about in frenzy about my ears in subservience.

    (drums)

    That and to swat that bug on my head.

    (more drums)

    She sprinkles gallons of water on my overheated body to cool my ardor.

    (yup, another roll please)

    Then to show her utmost respect, she makes my bed on the exalted couch in our esteemed living room so that I might not be enticed through the night by her feminine body.

    (keep the drum going)

    Isn’t being a god in someone’s eyes fun?

    It’s OK folks, I’m here all week. You can buy a CD of my live performances in the lobby after the show for only $10.

  20. MaceBringer says:

    #21

    If you’re not on YouTube, you don’t exist. Get thee away from me, false god!

    (the usual maniacal laughter)

  21. Fascinating read.


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