All The Sex, None of The Nagging!
Are you tired of wondering if she’s cheating on you? Do you love to leave the toilet seat up? Want to enjoy freedom on the weekend and watch a little football with your buddies, rather than work on your “honey do” list? Well, now you don’t have to worry any of that with the latest craze in adult dating, dating and marrying inmates for conjugal visits. With a conjugal marriage, you will finally have a wife with the perfect amount of freedoms and rights, and more importantly, you will finally start enjoying your own.
Browse our inmates and find a little of your own conjugal happiness today!
Here’s a sample of one of the lovelies.
Name: Teardrop
Age: 18
State: Mississippi
Convictions: Murder but it wasn’t like that i got setup by my pimp and his frenz.
Hobbies and Interests: I collect flowers from the yard but they mostly weeds. Sometimes I press them or do love me nots with them but then I just end up tearing them apart cuz they don’t love me back.
Why I Deserve Another Chance: My celly doesn’t get me and she won’t take a walk on the pink side for me. I’m too young to be alone and I got years of street experience that means I’d be the hottest hour a month of your life till death do us parts.
Ha!
Emphasis added: “Convictions: Murder but it wasn’t like that i got setup by my pimp and his frenz.”
I’m guessing this is a spoof, but considering some of the Fail episodes I’ve seen on the ‘Net, it’s hard to rule anything out. This might fall foul of Poe’s Law. See also “You Suck At Craigslist”.
Greg sounds excited: He finally has a chance to get laid.
Say “Hi” to Mr. Confusion while you’re there.
Greg, you sound excited. I bet you and Confusion are going to make a road trip out of this.
Congratulations on society finding a way for you to lose your virginity.
#23 — Golly, who knew?!?! Thanks for pointing this out. You’ve saved the day.
The real giveaway besides the stupidity of the idea and the various parody aspects, is the fact that no criminal in jail has, if you ask them, ever committed a crime.
McCullough said, “#21. Didn’t I meet you in a bar in Amsterdam? I did, the Pro’s called you Two-Minute Matt!!!”
Is that you, Pencil Dick?
Actually, I’m up to three minutes, now. One of the pros taught me something called “foreplay.”