Couple Cited In Bizarre Fake Penis Incident At Convenience Store
PITTSBURGH – A man and woman were cited Friday in connection with a bizarre incident that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store last week.
Bostic had filled a fake penis with his urine that Creighton, a friend, planned to use to pass a drug test she was taking to get a job, Police Chief Joseph Pero said.
Creighton asked a store clerk to microwave the device so the urine inside would be body-temperature and fool those giving the drug test, Pero said.
I like the creative choice on how they were charged. Where there’s a will (to do a pseudo-crime), there’s a way (to indict) in our legal system.
Defense attorney William Difenderfer didn’t dispute the police account, but said there’s no proof his clients had any criminal intent to damage the microwave – the basis for the criminal mischief charge.
“I certainly understand the ramifications and I’m certainly not saying it wasn’t a stupid thing to do,” Difenderfer said. “But there’s a lot of bizarre stuff that we don’t always have a remedy for in the crimes code.”
Why would a prosecutor feel obligated to prosecute for this? It’s not like there’s not crime in california. Perhaps they could investigate their congressmen instead.
On the other hand, given the spirit of the times, I would suggest terrorism charges. The girl who found the, er, accoutrement in the microwave sounded rather terrorised. If that doesn’t work, the RICO laws can be used for just about anything.
Prosecutors. Dicks. Hmm.
There doesn’t appear to be a real crime here. Is faking your resume going to get you indicted too?
I would say its more like disorderly conduct, not criminal mischief.
…and about penises…
a long time ago I ran into a website that was a confessional for men who were “cursed” with huge penises. They complained how their 14 1/2″ was a burden, not a blessing; how others made fun of them calling them names like tripod, horse and coffee can; how women complained of getting jabbed thereby suprressing their innate manly will to fully thrust; how women just used them for their “manhood” and never took them seriously for their minds…
i know, it isn’t easy. last girlfriend that wanted to measure me couldn’t. We couldn’t find a yard stick.
“a fake penis with his urine that Creighton, a friend, planned to use to pass a drug test she was taking.”
can you say “inducties into the stupid criminal hall of fame”
They just had to be practicing for some feat that would help clean the gene pool.
I’m from Pittsburgh, so I got the full brunt of the local news coverage on this. It was originally thought to be a severed penis, thus causing a ridiculous amount of buzz and police inquiry. Thus the charges. No real crime, more of a slap on the wrist for all the trouble.
Also, it was a Wizzinator for those that are extra curious.