A statue of the crucifixion has been taken down from its perch on a church in Sussex because it was scaring local children and deterring worshippers, a vicar admitted today.

The Rev Ewen Souter, the vicar at St John’s Church in Horsham, West Sussex, ordered the removal of the 10-foot sculpture of Jesus on the cross just before Christmas, branding it “unsuitable” and “a horrifying depiction of pain and suffering”.

The 10ft resin sculpture, by Edward Bainbridge Copnall, a former president of the Royal Society of British Sculptors, will be replaced by a more “uplifting” stainless steel cross – to the dismay of more traditional parishioners.

Souter, formerly a cell biologist, said: “The crucifix expressed suffering, torment, pain and anguish. It was a scary image, particularly for children. Parents didn’t want to walk past it with their kids, because they found it so horrifying

A long-standing member of the church, who asked not to be named, said: “The crucifix is the oldest and most famous symbol of the Christian church. Pulling it down and putting up something that would look more at home on the side of a flashy modern shopping centre is not the way to get more bums on seats.

“Next they’ll be ripping out the pews and putting sofas in their place, or throwing out all the Bibles and replacing them with laptops. It’s just not right.”

Tee hee.




  1. Aw, is the reality of your Lord and Savior’s supposed suffering too much to bear? Something tells Jesus is more pleased with the artist of the crucifix than the ‘concerned’ believe who had it taken down…

    Someone call the whambulance!

  2. diazamet says:

    People obviously wanted a nice looking version of someone starving to death on a cross!

  3. Improbus says:

    The crucifix is the oldest and most famous symbol of the Christian church.

    I thought the “fish” symbol was the oldest. I guess that wasn’t hard core enough for the Catholic church.

  4. Ron Larson says:

    PC Christianity… Jesus missed lunch for your sins.

  5. dezrah says:

    Here comes the “Buddy Christ”! George Carlin would be proud:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyYCxz_Ao5g

  6. Dallas says:

    Is there another approved torture device the Christians can use instead to worship? I think not but here are other options:

    Judas Cradle – The Judas Cradle is a very painful torture. The victim was seated on a triangular-shaped seat where he or she was slowly impaled.

    Coffin Torture – The coffin torture – a very cruel medieval device where the victim was locked for hours or longer.

    The Brazen Bull – The brazen bull was a terrible torture device used in ancient Greece and throughout the Middle Ages.

    The Rack Torture – The rack is commonly referred as the most painful medieval torture of them all.

    The Water Torture – There were many ways to punish a victim with the use of water. This article explains the most common forms of such torture.

    Exposure – A terrible torture that was often deadly. The exposure was a method used all around medieval Europe. The sentence depended on the crime.

    The Chair of Torture – A striking instrument, the Chair was widely used throughout medieval Europe and beyond. It’s origins are not clear, but the truth remains: This is one of the most painful and psychologically striking tortures ever devised by the human mind.

    The Pear of Anguish – A very painful torture applied almost exclusively on witches, liars, blasphemers and homosexuals.

    The Rat Torture – Rats were used for torture. They were free, available and painful if known how to use.

    The Breast Ripper – A very cruel form of torture was the Breast Ripper. A variant, The Spider, was similarly painful and frequently fatal.

    The Head Crusher – The head crusher was a psychologically striking instrument that was mainly used to extract confessions.

    Saw Torture – The Saw was a humiliating and painful torture available everywhere.

    The Virgin of Nuremberg (The Maiden) – The Maiden, also known as the Virgin of Nuremberg, was a torture device that consisted of a coffin with the face of a maiden full of spikes on every wall.

    The Spanish Tickler – A terrible torture used to tear a victim’s flesh apart. It was commonly used in Spain.

    Garrotte Torture – The Garrotte was mostly used for executions and was very frequently used in Spain, hence its name.

    Flagellation (Whipping) – Describes the act of flagellation or whipping. Its use was very common in Ancient Rome, but it was stil a favorite form of punishment during the Middle Ages.

    The Wheel Torture (Breaking Wheel) – The Wheel torture was a very painful form of capital punishment. Death could be prolonged to a day or more.

    Foot Roasting – Foot roasting was used in the Middle Ages to extract confessions. The Templar Knights, among many other orders, were tortured with this same method.

    Burning at the Stake – Being burned at the stake was a terrible way to die. It could take several hours for death to occur and the causes of death were diverse.

    Thumbscrew Torture – A painful torture mostly used to extract confessions before moving to more painful torture methods.

    The Heretics Fork – A painful torture used to restrain a victim. It was used throughout the Middle Ages, but it reached its peak during the Spanish Inquisition.

    Flaying Torture – A very old and painful method that consists of “skinning” a person alive.

    Lead Sprinkler – The lead sprinkler was used to torture victims by pouring molten metals in different parts of their body.

    Knee Splitter – Used for destroying body parts, the knee splitter was a terrifying torture device that could even bring death.

    The Spanish Spider – A variant of the breast ripper, the Spanish Spider is an instrument capable of mutilating a woman’s breasts.

    Pillory Torture – A mild form of punishment, the pillory was frequently used in the medieval world.

    Crocodile Tube – The crocodile tube was used to kill or extract confessions. It was one of the cruelest torture devices ever used on human beings.

    The Brank – The Brank was used to humiliate women who “broke the public order” through gossip or other means.

  7. Idol says:

    They should remove all the crucifix anyways, it’s just an idol that those people worship…

  8. Dave W says:

    Gee, a scary image on the front of a place that threatens its customers with eternal torture? (Is that better than simply ceasing to exist??)

    Still, I must say that as depictions of the crucifixion go, that one is, like so much modern public art, decidedly ugly.

  9. What-the says:

    The thing pictured looks like something out of hell.

    I was taken to a mass once when I was about 10. The whole thing was in Latin and I thought it was some kind of satanic BS, It scared me so bad I’ve never set foot in a catholic church again!

  10. A Jewish kid is acting up in school and keeps getting expelled from one school after another.

    After trying a number of different schools, a neighbor suggests sending him to Catholic school.

    But, we’re Jewish protest the parents.

    The neighbor replies that she is too and sent her misbehaving kid to Catholic school and it worked.

    So, not knowing what else to do, the parents send the Jewish kid to Catholic school. There, he excels at all classes and is a model student.

    After a semester, the parents ask the child about this. Why does he behave so well at Catholic school and not at any other?

    The son replies. Ma, right as you walk in the door, they’ve got one poor kid who acted up and they nailed him to a tree!!

  11. billabong says:

    I still remember my catholic childhood where the christ had red paint in his wounds.Very realistic and gruesome.

  12. Angel H. Wong says:

    That statue of Christ is still too fat for fashion magazines though.

  13. Uncle Patso says:

    While the Crucifixion is _the_ central image/icon and meaning of Christianity, that one is decidedly ugly. On the other hand, the idea of a “beautiful” crucifix is in its own way perverse…

    As for the Buddy Christ — comedic genius!

  14. JamesM says:

    Maybe the vicar is the one that should be removed. The crucifixion should not be comforting, but heart-wrenching, a picture of the pain and suffering that Christ un-justly endured and the place of those who more rightly deserved it. It’s what it’s all about, actually.

  15. Rick Cain says:

    All crucifixion statues are horrible.

    What kind of a religion adorns its church with a dead guy on a post?


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