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US FUNERAL DIRECTORS have noticed that there is a sudden demand among Apple fanboys to be buried with their favourite gadgets when they croak.
Noelle Potvin, family service counsellor for funeral home Hollywood Forever, said that it is also becoming a trend with BlackBerrys and one bloke even wanted to be buried with his GameBoy.
Ed Defort, publisher and editorial director for American Funeral Director magazine, said there are cases of a bloke being buried with his Ipod in the hope of being wired to the end.
However what is stranger is that they want the gear switched on so that their mates can ring them, at least until the battery wears out.
Pam Vetter said she had seen family members place Ipod earphones on the dead person and play songs as the casket closed. She said that it was comforting to the family to think that “mom’s playing her Ipod… or dad’s still got the mobile phone that was attached to his ear all the time.”
We would have thought making the last journey to the underworld with Coldplay ringing in your ears would be sign of terrible forboding.
These people qualify for the zircon-encrusted BubbaRay Dipdork Award. Good Grief!
Reminds me of the rich guy who wanted to be buried with his money. He had all his assets liquidated to cash and placed in the coffin with him.
The funeral directors are talking afterward. “It was a shame to bury all that money,” said one.
The other funeral director puts a box of bills on the desk. “We didn’t.”
“You didn’t just steal from the dead guy?”
“Don’t worry. I paid him back with a check.”
* * *
You can’t take it with you. If you are dead, then you don’t need an iPod or a Blackberry.
I asked on an earlier thread why we place so much effort on discarding our earthly shells.
I asked on an earlier thread why we place so much effort on discarding our earthly shells //// Only a few do. Most don’t. For those that do, its an ego trip.
Bury me with my Fender bass and my Ludwig drum set please
Please don’t bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get “em” out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I’ve got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose
Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don’t pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It’s a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye
©1973 John Prine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6WetxmRjYc
Apple fanboys don’t croak, they squeal like the pigs they are.
If the get buried with their iPhone who pays the monthly charges for continued service. I guess that’s covered by their will.
Can we bury all the Apple fanboys alive with Steve Jobs when he dies?
The only way I would listen to Coldplay is after I die.
Just goes to show you people won’t be caught dead using a Zune.
Time for some forward-thinking cemetery owners to run electricity to the actual graves. I can see outlets by the headstone with buried power cords coming out of the ground.
The cemetery owner can then charge a small, re-occurring fee. Nothing like making residuals off the dead.
Do you think they were playing “Stairway To Heaven”?
—-
yeah, I know – – uuuggghhh
Now I could see being buried with one’s cellphone. Just in case they got the whole time of death thing, wrong. It harkens back to an age when funeral homes sold caskets with small bells mounted on them. So rich people, resting in crypts, could signal that they only had chronic narcolepsy, and hadn’t actually died. An extremely rare occurrence, that the casket salesmen exploited the fear of. The embalming process stopped people from waking up, ever.
And yet a recent episode of “Eleventh Hour” revisited this fear, and had some spring break teenagers waking up in a mortuary, after being pronounced dead. The cause was supposedly a NASA engineered virus that triggered suspended animation. Still hoping to make that mission to mars sound practical, eh? Bullsh*t, CBS.