The truth will out, no matter how long it takes.

Tonya Harding assassinated John F. Kennedy in her previous life as Lee Harvey Oswald. Both Oswald and his victim, President Kennedy, have returned in this life as figure skaters Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan.

Consider the evidence of reincarnation. Both Tonya Harding and Lee Harvey Oswald have the letters “Har” in their names. Both of their victims were Irish Catholics from Massachusetts whose last names began with the letters “Ke”: John F. Kennedy and Nancy Kerrigan, and both were attacked in cities beginning with the letter “D”: Dallas and Detroit. Time magazine also saw a connection in the assaults on Kerrigan and Kennedy. Margaret Carlson wrote in the February 21, 1994 issue, “The videocam verite of the clubbing [of Kerrigan] provides the same gritty realism that the Zapruder footage brought to Oliver Stone’s JFK.”

Harding and Oswald came from poor dysfunctional families and learned to use a rifle. Both were about the same age when they became infamous: Lee at 24, Tonya at 23. And they have similar facial features. Kennedy doesn’t look like Kerrigan, but Kerrigan looks a bit like Jackie Kennedy. Perhaps God’s joke is that JFK, the womanizer, should return in a body resembling his own wife.

Other incredible revelations from this insightful article include:

“The entire feminist movement might be explained by the possibility that more men are returning as women.” Feminists may simply be women who were men in their immediate past life and they intuitively don’t want to give up the power and freedom they recently enjoyed.


Kennedy’s killer today




  1. bobbo says:

    Whoa!

  2. mthrnite says:

    Dag!

  3. Mister Mustard says:

    From the recent photo of Tonya, I don’t think even a double-wide is going to do the trick.

  4. Mr. Fusion says:

    Interesting,

    After waking, I realize I am E.T.: the person “sent from the heavens” to enlighten humanity.

    Not.

  5. kamikazejoe says:

    You all called me crazy! I’ve been saying it for years! Now we just need to find the second skater that threw a crowbar from the grassy knoll.

  6. Special Ed says:

    Man, she really swelled up like a tick.

  7. Kerrigan says:

    Looks like she ate Oswald.

  8. billabong says:

    Very slow news day.

  9. Nimby says:

    Back off on Tonya!
    Sheesh. Arrange to brutally cripple just one adorable teenage ice skating princess…

  10. syrinx says:

    @Nimby: Link didn’t work, you tease!

  11. syrinx says:

    Crap, I meant to direct my comment @WmDE (#9). Sorry, Nimby!

  12. #9 – WmDE the Nutty Realtor(R)

    Yeah, your link didn’t work. It goes to http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/9500/Nancy-Kerrigan-9513.jpg, and the only thing that shows up on the page is the URL of the link.

    You tease!

  13. WmDE says:

    Hey! I’m not a Realtor(r)!

    Try

    http://www.freakingnews.com/Nancy-Kerrigan-Pictures-12223.asp

    Site apparently did not like the deep link.

  14. Mister Ketchup says:

    Wow, now Nancy Kerrigan is a different story. I like those “plus size” girls. I’d just hate to have to feed that thing. I’ll bet she has a big ol’ turd cutter.

  15. #14 – WmDE

    I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t need to see that picture before breakfast.


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