Since we have a predictable number of Freedom-Lovers Who Support Censorship clustered like a miniature lynch mob around an earlier post about a jihadist nutball, one of our cast suggested we include a Stage 2 Alert for the videogame world:

Another day, another British tabloid finding something in a videogame that has outraged the “great” UK public. This one is an absolute classic, too. In GTA IV, there is a spoof Web site called littlelacysurprisepageant.com, which can be accessed on Liberty City’s Internet service. The site is “closed down” by the LCPD, and if you access it, you instantly achieve a five-star wanted level. The Sun has, naturally, found some people that are hilariously over-reacting.

“I was looking on the Internet for cheats and the name of this caught my eye as my daughter is called Lacey,” bellowed Jason Deschoolmeester, while steam possibly shot out from his ears. “This crosses the line. The makers have obviously sat around and discussed putting this in, and it’s not on. What will they do next?”

“It’s disgusting. It could lead people to indulge in things like that. It is totally sick. I won’t play it again.”

It looks like I can never play Grand Theft Auto again, lest children everywhere face the wrath of my almighty donking vadgehammer. So, how many children have you all raped since playing GTA IV?

Thanks, Mister Justin




  1. keaneo says:

    A good fit into the tiny brainpan of the censorship crowd. After all, they have so little confidence in the strength of their beliefs it’s easier, safer, more righteous to ban potential offenders.

  2. amodedoma says:

    I’ve been playin’ videogames since pong so I can say without a shadow of doubt GTA4 is one of history’s all time great games. What makes it great is the incredible depth of detail in the GTA world. Most of what this game’s about is morally objectionable, but if that doesn’t keep you from watching films I don’t see why it should keep you from playing this game.

  3. Noel says:

    So paedophilia is worse than murder?

  4. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #2 – Most of what this game’s about is morally objectionable, but if that doesn’t keep you from watching films I don’t see why it should keep you from playing this game.

    Exactly… Playing a GTA title is a lot like playing a Scorsese movie.

    Of course, there are plenty on the other side of the issue who would also condemn us for watching a Scorsese movie.

  5. amodedoma says:

    Okay, there is no pedophilia on GTA4, and this one little suggestion (a suspicious URL) of it get’s you five stars. For those who’ve never played that’s like public enemy number one and every cop in the game is out to kill you. Life expectancy a couple of minutes.
    For all I care they can base a game on hunting down and producing snuff films with pedophiles as the stars. I’d play! Funny thing is the people offended are precisely those who never play.

  6. chuck says:

    I don’t think GTA IV makes you a pedophile.
    But the other day when my neighbour said “Hello”, I shot him in the face.

  7. chris says:

    Like an Adam Sandler movie or reality TV, GTA is in very bad taste. Unlike those things, however, the level of execution(pun?) is better than any competing product.

    What does it say that the best constructed heroes in video games are violent scumbags? It says that other game publishers don’t have the passion and attention to detail that Rockstar games does. These games outclass others, and dramatically alter what gamers think is possible. If they sucked there wouldn’t be a story.

    Moralistic gamers should hold video game companies responsible for making responsible games of bad quality.

  8. RBG says:

    Yeah, this situation is right up there with folks who believe even the smallest bit of censorship must lead to the Nazi 4th Richt in America.

    RBG

  9. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #8 – It is? How?

  10. Seth says:

    I’m glad to see someone reporting on this epidemic. After 6 hours of playing, I am now a pedophile and a murderer. Just yesterday I stole a car and ran from the police. I’m in serious trouble.

    Prior to playing GTA, I was a good Christian with great values. Now it’s just drugs, booze, and crime for me.

    I wish I’d never picked up that stupid game.

  11. RBG says:

    9. oftlo

    You can count on those who mock with the extreme idea that “GTA IV turns you into a pedophile” to be the ones to champion – with bellowing and steam – the equally-extreme idea that even the smallest amount of censorship inevitably leads down the slippery-slope to Big Brother control.

    RBG

  12. The Evil One says:

    Yes, paedophilia is worse than murder, and music piracy is worse than paedophilia! XD


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