Of all the drugs young people can use at clubs, the latest trend in New York may be the least hip among all circles: Preparation H.

New York bouncer, blogger and author Rob Fitzgerald has noticed a trend among many of the macho young men waiting outside his clubs. He says the guys are slathering up their torsos with the hemorrhoid cream Preparation H to make themselves look “ripped” for the ladies.

Fitzgerald asked one of these guys to describe the practice for his blog, Clublife, “The way you use it is to take your shirt off and rub it all over yourself before you go to the club,” a man who gave the alias, Peter Minichiello, says. “If you want to get [lucky], you have to know how to dance, and if you want girls to dance with you, you have to look ripped.”

Human beings are fracking hilarious.




  1. bobbo says:

    Anything to think you are more attractive? Makes sense to me.

  2. Improbus says:

    Man, all of the other monkeys are going to make fun of us. Stupid monkeys like this need to ostracized.

  3. the answer says:

    so is it better to smell like sweat and spilled beer or ass cream… and spilled beer

  4. Michael says:

    “fracking hilarious” – Thanks for the BSG reference – made my morning.

  5. SparkyOne says:

    Just what we need. More off off-label use of drugs as an enhancers. Aren’t MLB and steroids enough!

  6. Dallas says:

    This explains why McCain’s face looks so shiny lately.

  7. BillM says:

    It makes sense to me….they’re just a bunch of A–holes.

  8. bobbo says:

    #7–Bill==eventually, every A-Hole gets covered in PrepH.

  9. brian t says:

    That’s all I need – one more way to make an arse of myself on the dance floor…

  10. RTaylor says:

    Do you think this would do any good if you weighed 320 pounds? 😉

  11. Jeff says:

    I think this might be lost on me… why not just work out? How hard is it to lift weights, sit-ups and run a few miles per day?

    I am pretty sure this stuff is not going to help you if you have a gut.

  12. Noel says:

    Pardon my ignorance, but what effect does hemorrhoid cream have on other parts of the body?

  13. anony mouse says:

    #12 Prep-H basically tightens the skin. That’s why some people use it under their eyes to get rid of baggy looking skin or wrinkles. Spreading it on your chest will likely tighten it and make you look less fat and more muscled. Probably only works for those only slightly off the “ideal” bod.

  14. lou says:

    Must have started on the Pep H blog.

  15. Mr. Catshit says:

    #6, Dallas,

    You might be on to something. Who’d a thunk it ???

  16. DrBen says:

    If you want to REALLY clear out the clubs, tell these idiots to use Absorbine Jr. or Ben-Gay. They’ll not just be “ripped” (whatever that means) but “Stinking Ripped”.

  17. Rick Cain says:

    That can’t be real. Preparation H smells really funny. I imagine a person would reek if they covered themselves with it.


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