Compelled to mate, yet firmly attached to the rock, barnacles have evolved the longest penis of any animal for their size – up to eight times their body length – so they can find and fertilize distant neighbours.
Unlike animals that travel long distances to breeding grounds under a wide range of conditions, barnacles reproduce by extending impressively long penises to find and fertilize distant mates. (Barnacles are hermaphrodites, so they can mate with male or female neighbours)…
The research suggests that sexual selection – competition with other males, female choice, sexual conflict between males and females – is not required to explain variation in genital form. In barnacles, this variation appears to be driven largely by the hydrodynamic conditions experienced under breaking waves.
“Put another way,” said Christopher Neufeld, “barnacles select mates simply by being able to reach them, not by what they may look like when they get there.”
Har.
When I saw the title in my RSS reader, I assumed that it was about some lazy people who choose artificial insemination rather than the old fashioned way. Now it makes sense 🙂
Angel H Wong…all yours! 🙂
Cheers
“barnacles select mates simply by being able to reach them, not by what they may look like when they get there.”
Well, thats EXACTLY the same way I select mates, beer goggles and all. Why is my penis so short?
Bobbo,
It is because the bar is closer.
This is yet another proof supporting the theory that barnacles are republicans.
Most of the republikans left in the party are dimpledicks.
It’s good to see that if some other creature has a giant copulation organ or secondary sexual attribute, it will be reported here with pictures and gusto. The gusto, as you might remember from advanced biology, is the provocative organ deep in the human brain.
What was the teen nickname of the guy who finds this stuff? Beavis or Butt-head?
Thats why they call me “Barnacle Bill”!
Some barnacles are so proud of their organ length that they send unsolicited penis photos to other barnacles by phone.
Well, on the whip it out and measure scale, barnacles may win on a relative to body size comparison. But, a book on antarctic wildlife that I have felt the need to mention that a blue whale has a three meter penis.
So, on a relative scale, the barnacles are impressive. But, on an absolute scale, if I had an identical twin standing on my shoulders, we would just about be the size of a blue whale dick.
Are we done with the pissing contest now? I think I’m done making a dick of myself … and my non-existent twin brother.
“…barnacles select mates simply by being able to reach them, not by what they may look like when they get there.”
Aha! This is definite proof positive of Darwinian natural selection. This is obviously why humans are smarter than barnacles.
Well, at least some of them, some of the time.
Barnacles you horny bastards!
Use your imagination and you will discover the answer to the undersea cable problems. The barnacles are in rut.
Omar,
EEEEeeeeeeeew! Barnacle encrusted cables …..