OrlandoSentinal.com – January 4, 2008
Americans are getting fatter. So are dead Americans.
And if your beefy body passes through the Orange-Osceola Medical Examiner’s Office on the way to the grave, rest assured. They have an autopsy table expansive enough for the heftiest among us.
At 3 1/2 feet wide and 7 feet tall, the table is 40 percent roomier than standard carts. Stout, reinforced legs support a tray of heavy-gauge stainless steel, buffed to a satin finish.
Weight load: 1,000 pounds.
As it is with stadium seats and amusement-park rides, so it is with autopsy tables and morgue drawers, cadaver carts and other equipment used to hoist, lift and carry the dead. Americans are growing too large to fit, so autopsy equipment is getting bigger.
Those zany, overweight, fast-food scarfing Americans.
Nice photo!
Three words… bigger chair, please.
I’ve heard of junk in the trunk, but that’s the whole junkyard right there.
This country has an obesity problem, I won’t argue with that.
But, when I have visited college and high school campuses. I’m surprised at the # of kids that are taller then 6′ and greater than 200 lbs. This nations populace is getting bigger and it isn’t entirely because of obesity. Manufacturers need to catch up.
well,
I dont really think its Obesity.
I think its the quality of food.
the body has a trick, that IF the food you ingest dont HAVe what it needs, it ASKS for more. And MORE, and MORE…
Most of our foods are Processed from the FIRST planting.
Maybe they’re fattening Americans to produce more Soylent green.
hey that chick is hot! where can a brother get him some of that?
I think asses are merely growing into the larger and larger automobiles being made in the country and it’s facilities.
That small plastic cup holder you hung from inside the window? Well, it’s replaced by the 64Ounce Big Gulp cavity on the center console. That roll down window and seat adjust? Well, all run by a 2 ton capacity electric motor so your sorry ass doesn’t have to physically scoot up, heaven forbid.
If we can only harness shit these people put out into an energy source.
#6 – Dallas – If we can only harness shit these people put out into an energy source.
I see no problem grinding down some dead fat people and produce biodiesel. More environmentally friendly than gas and there’s no lack of resources.
The mid-west is the place for fat ass watching. I wonder when Al Gore is going to make a film warning that the US is in danger of the east and west coasts clapping together?
It is not so much of what is eaten but the quantity and sitting on you’re ass! This is proven in China.
Chinese food has to be the most fattening food on the planet save for the blubber the Eskimos eat. Most of everything in China is fried and swimming in oil. Chunks of pig fat is a popular dish. Typical Chinese kitchens have grease hoods to catch the oil like fast food restaurant deep fryers. in the supermarkets there is an OIL isle (!) with gallon jugs of oil. You will never see an oven in a Chinese kitchen (microwave ovens are used to heat food only, never to cook).
So why aren’t Chinese big enough to sling the Earth out of orbit? It’s the quantity of food they eat – small portions and they exercise (walking and bikes). One American sized dinner from a US family restaurant is large enough to feed a Chinese family of three.
There is a common phrase in Shanghai called the “Shanghai Stone” – ‘stone’ meaning the UK weight measure. Foreigners coming to China often pack it on.
So forget all about how healthy you think Chinese food is. Eat it in American sized portions and you will be clutching your chest wheezing in pain and overflowing your chair. 😉
Cheers
Reminds me of the cruise ship I was on…
“What time is the midnight buffet?”
#8 – TIHZ_HO
I can confirm everything you wrote. The only addition is that the northern style of food is less deep fried, but still contains a lot of oil. I guess the northern style is the most plain Chinese style of food, but still tasty by comparison with some western food. And yes, it’s easy for a Laowai to put on weight when being introduced to traditional Chinese cuisine (well, it works with Big Macs in the U.S. as well…)!
I’ll tell ya’, one American sized dinner from a restaurant is enough to feed my family. Who the heck can eat a 16 oz. filet, a salad that looks like it’s still in a serving bowl and a baked potato the size of a football, then order dessert? Gracious!
#11, Bubba,
If its a buffet, then most Americans could make a serious dent in that menu. Sheet, we went to a Chinese Buffet tonight. While I fill out my undies fairly well, I was surprised at how huge all the customers were compared to the Chinese waitresses. I mean 10 y/o over 125 lbs and moon round faces. 30 y/o that waddled their 85” butt up for the fourth trip.
As a consolation, Americans have bigger tits. No contest there. Only they are too fat to impregnate.
This is a graphic example of why the 35 MPG automobile will fail to find buyers in the U.S. The cars will be so tiny that Americans aren’t going to fit in them.
#7 Good point and there is merit to this but will never pass the morality police. Sending these big lard tubs into energy producing incinerators would be a huge benefit.
I know of at least one person that can power a city block for a couple of months.
On a side note, I wonder why fitness places don’t harness the energy of all those machine that are being fueled by human power. Somebody needs to check into this.
#14 – Dallas – I know of at least one person that can power a city block for a couple of months.
😀
…why fitness places don’t harness the energy of all those machine that are being fueled by human power.
Beats me as well. Also, why don’t revolving doors have generators attached to them? Also, you could make floors that flex enough to generate electricity when people walk across them.
#15 Jägermeister why don’t revolving doors have generators attached to them? Also, you could make floors that flex enough to generate electricity when people walk across them.
Good idea, but the reason why is simple – the cost of implementing these electricity generation devices cost far more than the electricity they would generate. Costs over benefits.
In the days of $0.25 per gallon gas how much thought was put into electric cars…? Other than the “gee whiz” look what I can do geek factor.
In China I am still fascinated by the fact that ALL garbage is recycled somehow. There are people picking through garbage for plastic, paper, metal you name it because they can get a a few dollars (used to be one dollar…) to feed themselves. There are no litter laws in China – there doesn’t need to be. The streets are pick cleaned continuously. Kinda cool to just drop the wrapper in the street…that feeling of getting away with something… LOL
We just moved and our empty cardboard boxes were like a treasure to some people. Put some out on the street and by the time you come back with another load the first one is long gone!
Why doesn’t this happen in the US? Well who is going to pick through trash all day for a few dollars? 😉
Cheers
Why don´t the americans go for sport?
Running, swimming, soccer, hocket.. you name it..