City News – December 26, 2007:
Where did you spend Christmas Eve?
Wherever it was, it had to be a lot better than the place Robert Schoff found himself in.
The 77-year-old Des Moines, Iowa man began his holiday with a toilet problem. So he went out to his septic tank and tried to remove the clog. Instead, it removed him. The senior lost his balance and fell into the slop, with his head trapped inside and his feet kicking wildly in the air. The 5’5″, 135-lbs. man tried yelling for help at the top of his lungs but no one heard him.
He stayed that way for about an hour unable to escape his smelly predicament until his wife began to wonder where her husband disappeared to. Toni Schoff walked by a window, saw his feet emerging from the opening and quickly rushed outside. But even that didn’t help. “I saw these kicking feet and ran out, but couldn’t get him out,” she recalls.
I hate when that happens.
And another thing…he can honestly say his holiday stunk.
How was your Christmas? “Oh, it was just craptastic!”
Note to self — never check tank or well without cellphone in pocket.
That Mr. Schoff was a very bad boy last year!
Love, Santa
“Hey honey, remember that corn-on-the-cob we had back in the summer … ?”
No matter how bad thing’s are for me…..I’ll always have Mr. Schoff’s Christmas eve to remind me thing’s could be a lot worse. 🙂
What a “Shithead”.