A woman set fire to her ex-husband’s penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.
“It was monstrously painful,” the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. “I was burning like a torch. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”
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I can only guess at my response to this if I survived the burning. I wonder if they kissed and made up later?
That reminds me of the old saying…
“Build a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a night. Set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life!”
>>The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious
>>enforced co-habitation.
“enforced co-habitation”? wtf is that?
Hunk-a-hunk-a burnin’ love!
“enforced co-habitation” – It was (I guess still is) quite common in Russia during communistic era – not enough apartments for all those people, especially in larger cities; sometimes 2 or 3 families would live in one 3-4 bedroom apartment – it was all government regulated…. Right now, there probably are available apartments, but majority cannot afford to rent or buy one. This is still country of very wealthy and very poor, no middle class.
She didn’t do it.. it was Blipverts!
J/P=?
“It was monstrously painful,”
Probably the understatement of the year.
>>This is still country of very wealthy and very poor, no middle class.
Hey, wasn’t that one of George Bush’s campaign promises? At least he will have one MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He shouldn’t have uttered Come on baby, light my fire…
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”……. sitting around naked, watching television, and drinking vodka would be a good starting point for thinking about why she lit his sorry ass on fire.
Chets nuts roasting over an open fire…
If it happened to me it would look like a bonfire.
I’ve heard of a Roman candle but never a Russian candle.
#11 – Raff – Chets nuts roasting over an open fire…
Reminds me of this old joke…
Chet… The Christmas Parrot
One day a husband decided to go to a pet store and get his wife a bird for Christmas. He knew she loved animals, birds in particular, and decided this would be the perfect gift for her.
He goes to the pet store and asks the manager if he has anything special in the way of birds. The manager tells him that in fact he does, it’s a bird named Chet who sings.
The guy is very interested and asks to see Chet. The manager brings him over to a beautiful bird and tells the husband that this is Chet. The husband asks what is so special about him and the manager tells him that Chet can sing, and that he’ll show him.
The manager then takes a cigarette lighter out of his pocket and lights it a few inches underneath Chet’s right foot. Chet begins to sing, “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way…”
The husband says that it was great and asks, “Does Chet sing anything else?”
So the manager then lights his lighter under Chet’s left foot, and Chet begins to sing, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know…” The husband is very impressed, sure that his wife will absolutely love this bird, so he buys Chet.
He brings the bird home and presents it to his wife as a Christmas gift. She is very happy and says the bird is beautiful. The husband tells her that the bird can sing, and he takes his lighter and lights it beneath Chet’s right foot, and Chet begins to sing, “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way…”
The wife is thrilled and asks if he can do anything else. The husband then lights the lighter under Chet’s left foot and Chet begins to sing, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know…”
The wife is overwhelmed and asks, “What would happen if you put the lighter under both of his feet at the same time?”
The husband says that he doesn’t know, but they could try it. So the husband puts the lighter under both of the birds feet and the bird begins to sing, “Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire….”
>>The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious
>>enforced co-habitation.
Betcha that not the type of climax this poor naked dude expected….
And this is why you shouldn’t date Russian women.
17–I didn’t even know penises could burn?
Musta been a woody.
PS,
And it wasnt even Winter YET…
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!!!
#20 – Mark T.
Touché 😀
I never want to meet a girl who likes her meat “well done”.
#22 – BubbaRay
She into flambée sex… 😉
This kind of crap really burns me up.
I find it fascinating that there is no mention of what that poor, poor, drunk man might possibly have done to merit having his genitals set on fire. I mean, there’s no way he might ever have possibly sexually assaulted his ex wife, right? Women are known for just going crazy and lighting men’s genitals on fire for no reason, after all.