These sincerely dedicated and noble warriors against a childhood nightmare deserve our support. When, oh when, will Congress stop these pointless hearings into trivial things like a lying AG and some war in another country and focus on the real issues!
The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation
The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation was created in 1982 by a small group that originally came together as a an informal support group for problems that were the result of traumatic experiences at petting zoos as children. This group realized that there were many others out there who were afraid to come forward with their horrific stories and wanted to find some way to help as many people as they could. The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation is the result of their dream.
Through its programs and workshops, individuals from all walks of life have been able to live happier and more fulfilling lives, without the ever-present ghosts of their personal goat traumas. Some have even made such progress that they have been able to put their traumas completely behind them and rejoin mainstream society.
No matter what the effects of your trauma, we can help you. The effects of a childhood goat trauma vary widely from person to person, depending on the severity of their trauma. Such problems as irrational fears, unexplained twitching, and insomnia could all have origin in a goat trauma.
How ignorant of me not to know these vital facts:
– If a child is traumatized by a goat before age five, he/she is five times more likely to become some form of social deviant.
– The majority of goat traumas occur before age eight and after age fifty-two.
Watch out! Don’t let tricks like fainting take you in. They’ll lull you into thinking they’re cute and helpless and then they pounce on your child without mercy! Do it for the children!
That’s BAAAA..d
Some people are so pathetic.
I was subjected to an emu pulling at my hair with its beak, from behind, at a petting zoo. It might explain a lot about where my life is at, at this point……..I think I’ll check out this goat thing.
Oh, misleading title. I thought it was a support group for people traumatized by false memories of satanic rituals from their childhood.
This is a joke site, right?
I can watch goats feign death all day long xD
Sure… blame the goats!
How about those of us who have become some sort of social deviant without ever being traumatized by a goat before (or after) the age of 5? What to blame for my liking of porn…..
That story got my goat.
What if you were a deviant before you ever saw a goat?
On the other hand, this may explain many of our politicians.
Baaaa Haaaaa Haaaaa….
Thanks for this day’s only laugh. I’ve asked the folks at Babble to cover for our strollerderby column. I’ll let you know when it’s up.
No child should be subjected to a petting zoo. Take them to a real farm where they can pet the animals and then eat them later.
And I thought it was because someone saw the Goatse pic and got traumatised.
Um, wow. True story. I was at a petting zoo as a kid, a strange lady beckoned me to milk a goat. I said no numerous times and finally succumbed. The goat kicked me and I have a divot in my leg to this day. I was just talking about this at work and I came across this. VERY WEIRD. A year later a horse stepped on my toe and I don’t like things with hooves to this very day.
I got attacked by a goose as a kid.
Childhood Goose Trauma is a painful affliction.
I had appendicitis as a child; consequently, I suffer from Scalpels Cause Scar Tissue on Abs Trauma Syndrome whenever I feel nauseous.