A heavyset man wearing a long, black wig and possibly a dress robbed a bank on St. Michael’s Drive using a fake bomb, according to the FBI.

Police sealed off a portion of St. Michael’s between Pacheco Street and Paseo Del Sur for about three hours (yesterday) afternoon as a hazardous materials team from Los Alamos National Laboratory used a robot to try to detonate the bomb, which was in some sort of bag or suitcase, FBI spokesman Bill Elwell said. The bomb turned out to be only wires and PVC pipe, he said.

The man was wearing dark sunglasses, a lime green undershirt with another shirt over it, latex gloves and two to three days’ worth of stubble on his face, Elwell said. The robber’s wig that was streaked with white.

One witness said the man, who remains at large, was wearing a dress.

The dude not only chose a dumb occupation, his clothes suck, too!