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And the mother is surprised at the child using that type of language? She learned it at home. Especially futile is the belated attempt to convince the child not to repeat the feat – after positively reinforcing it by shooting video and laughing. Brilliant.
Kick that monsters ASS!
What a cute kid.
What every child needs to know… perfect.
Right On little girl! I would be proud of her if she were mine. She seems to be a clear headed and logical little girl. Of course you would want to kick the monsters ass. I wonder were she picked up the word ass. My money is on her father.
right on little girl, thats the way kids should be raised!!!
That little girl made my morning. I would proudly stand up next to her and help kick that monsters ass.
A video I can share with the office. Love it.
Southern hospitality at it’s finest.
Every redneck can be proud of this one.
We can argue all we want about the language, but the main point is that monsters are now on notice. This video will act as a deterrent to the very thing that scares so many children. I hope other kids can learn from this child’s clearly enunciated “tough on monsters” policy. Frankly, the mother seems a little soft to me.
Even the dog feels safer, knowing he lives in a monster-free zone.
I take offense to this overtly aggressive language. We monsters everywhere should be joining forces to eradicate this sort of accepted behavior by a splinter group of fanatics. “Kicking ass” is clearly the purview of monsters and should never be allowed by other groups in an effort to scare or intimidate. I would personally take this child on if not for my bad back, an injury sustained while performing my duties under her bed. The closet monster in her room is no help in that he is dealing with his own hang-ups. I believe I could take her on if it weren’t for this dang back. Please someone help.
#10, the “jumping on the bed” incident that caused or contributed to your bad back was merely the tip of the iceberg of the girl’s total pre-emptive defense capability. She felt that kneeling during bedtime prayers carried significant risks to her safety, and moved decisively to mitigate those risks. If your injury is not covered under the terms of your Monster HMO and you are forced into an early retirement, then forgive me for not feeling any pity. Monsters like you have run amuck for far too long.
Brave little girl… Mean old monster… Cry me a river.
I am sorry but unless you are The Cookie Monster you will get no sympathy from me.
Sheesh
I have adivsed my client that he should refer any and all inquiries to said injuries, suffered while pursuing his choice of career, to me. Individuals should and are legally protected in their pursuits of gainful employment. Harassing said individuals with bodily injury with language clearly designed to intimidate, ie. “Kick his ass”, are recognized as purely aggressive terms and will figure prominently in the suit we intend to bring against this “child”, if that is what she is.
Dear The Monster’s Lawyer, is the RIAA one of your clients?
#15 – I cannot comment on current litigation (client privacy issues). But I can say that the RIAA assaults are politically motivated and will be dismissed when they are brought to the light of day. Please trust that the RIAA has the public’s best interest in mind during it’s decision making processes.
#14, it’s possible this situation has escalated beyond the simple, clear warning it was originally intended to be. The little girl has not yet retained legal counsel (while reserving that right), but as her spokesman, I’ve been authorized to make a firm offer to submit this to binding arbitration. Among the items we bring to the table are the high likelihood that we could help your client relocate to a more amenable and monster-friendly environment, with the further possibility of shorter working hours. We will, of course, expect a few concessions in return, including the promise not to pursue legal action.
I’m sure both you and your client can see the advantage in settling before this spirals out of control. Your victimization routine may not play as well as you think in a court of law.
Finally, regarding your implication that this angel may not even be a child, your apparent rejection of her childlike innocence and sheer cuteness are especially appalling. “Take it back” will be high on our list of demands.
#17 – While your proposal is interesting, it does lack sincerity in my client’s welfare. Be advised that the initial salvos were instigated by your ward, “child”, by her threats of violence, re: “I’ll kick his ass”. This was an unwarranted attack aimed at my client who was only performing his duties as he saw appropriate for the venue. The natural balance of realities dictates that Monsters are to scare and children are to be scared. Not the other way around. This said, we will intertain the change in job location in that there are sufficient children to scare that do not share the same violent tendencies as your “child”.
#18, then we’re agreed. We’ll be rid of your client’s ass, and our precious little angel won’t have to kick it. And by the way, she’s even more adorable when she isn’t displaying her “violent tendencies” (which we are not admitting that she has) 😉
Sheesh (reprised)
To The Monster’s Lawyer
If you are not, you should be!
SO, may your life be filled with Lawyers! Not a pleasant thought.
I’m leaving now, time for Jeopardy, Ed, do you wish to join me? 😉
#7 & #8 – Redneck? Southern? Sorry, but that was clearly a NY girl (both girl and mommy) – that accent was unmistakeable….!