Non-lethal organic celery
Chelsea have banned celery from Stamford Bridge and ordered fans to stop throwing it during matches after the Football Association launched an investigation into instances of salad tossing at their recent matches.
Two referees have now mentioned celery being thrown onto the pitch during their official reports of Chelsea matches, while Arsenal’s players complained of being pelted with the vegetable when they tried to take corners during the first half of the Carling Cup final.
Blues fans have been bringing the vegetable to games for over two decades in homage to their terrace chant ‘Celery’, but the club reminded them today that throwing the vegetable was, in fact a criminal offence.
“The throwing of anything at a football match, including celery, is a criminal offence for which you can be arrested and end up with a criminal record,” read a statement on the club website. “In future, if anyone is found attempting to bring celery into Stamford Bridge they could be refused entry and anyone caught throwing celery will face a ban.”
My favorite portion of the “celery chant” goes,
Celery, Celery,
If she don’t come,
I’ll tickle her bum,
With a lump of celery.
Yes, there is a hotline for courageous fans to report violaters.
Could be worse–they could be throwing Spam…
mmm… this may not belong here but John… is there any chance you could add a “send to a friend” function to your blog??? (Maybe it’s around and I haven’t seen it[?] )
Abramovich could set up a celery concession to pay for his divorce. http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=10328
#2 – you can click the headline to bring up just the Post – then [at least in Firefox] click File > Send a link > enter email address in your own email software – which would also retain a “sent” record.
Bwahahahahahahaha
A criminal record? Is it a felony? Has anyone ever been injured by flying celery? Is there no end to how dumb the world can be?
I don’t think it is too much to ask fans not to throw things at players at a sporting event (we are talking about soccer, right?), but I think it might be going overboard to get one’s knickers in a twist over fresh produce.
#2 – I never use those “Send This Page” buttons because they capture email addresses which could be compiled to a list which starts the flow of spam… Never enter your email, or especially a friend’s email into a web site. 🙂
Some ex-girlfriend of mine sent me an online greet card once. Now my once totally spamless email box is getting hit hundreds of times a day… Now I have to actually manage a spam filter.
Needless to say, I made her an ex 🙂
I like how they worked the phrase “salad tossing” – very nice.
Here’s a fun fact about celery:
Celery is supposed to sweeten the taste of semen, that’s why you see plenty of it during bear gatherings and any other gay parties.
#7
Angel… You make me feel funny…
#6…tallwookie….ok…THAT made me choke on my ice tea.
#7…Angel…thank you for one of those weird little facts that I probably would have gone through life not knowing(or asking about) 🙂
Having been to many Chelsea games(my best mate at Uni is a BIG fan)I can attest to the flying celery (though not to the salad tossing) 🙂
At the University of Colorado at Boulder, you can actually get kicked out of or arrested at football games for carrying marshmallows into the stadium.
They actually have signs listing all things banned from the premises, including “MARSHMALLOWS.”