Despite a slippery record, a 20-pound carp is running for office in Ann Arbor, Mich., as a write in candidate, the “candidate’s” campaign publicity indicates.
Although its publicist is a mystery, Mlive.com reported Sunday lawn signs and Internet publicity indicate voters in the city have a new option when they go to the polls Tuesday, to write in their vote for a “20-pound carp,” even though the fish has destruction of public property on its record.
The fish, Mlive.com reported, was removed from a pond in West Park in November 2012, because it was destroying the pond’s vegetation. It was then released into the Huron River, where it apparently developed a taste for politics.
Mlive.com reported the fish describes itself as a bottom feeder who is adept at using social media to get out its talking points.
“I will aggressively return Ann Arbor to its Golden Age, viz. 1837…”
The carp says it is focusing its campaign on the city’s fourth district, where Jack Eaton, a Democrat, is running unopposed.
“I’m amused. I have a sense of humor and I think it’s funny. I consider a 20-pound carp to be a substantial opponent and I wish him the best,” Eaton said.
Given the competition, we can assume the carp to be a Republican. The remaining question then – is the carp a conservative, libertarian or neo-Confederate?
Considering where the current politicians have brought them, I bet MI people would vote for a 20 pound crap vs. those as well.
I want to see it’s birth certificate.
I like how all North American and European eels have to breed in you.
But, nasty cross-caste sea lamphreys get a pass on whatever lattitude dinner-‘n’-doner is swimming in.
http://glfc.org/sealamp/images/sea_lamprey_mouths-ottawa-tl.png
No more fucking around with vesas and passports and stuff while you mate… just hang on with those teeth and pray to Neptune your mate is not so well-endowed.
The duly elected 20-pound carp will have its position usurped by a Michigan governor-appointed financial Czar thereby effectively circumventing the democracy that this country was founded upon.
i like turtles.