U.S. President Obama wipes perspiration from his face while speaking at a campaign event at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh

Need health insurance? The Obama administration has you covered. Simply dial 1-800-FUCKYO to reach the next available health-care provider.

Far from being a mistype, that’s the official number that Health and Human Services wants Americans to dial when seeking health care. Obamacare’s national call center really did list its number as 1-800-318-2596, helpfully spelling out President Barack Obama’s tendency to blatantly flip the bird in plain view.

Note: Unconfirmed, the number seems to be down at the moment. Probably all those people scrambling to sign up.



  1. Dallas says:

    Cute. What else ya got?

  2. Binder says:

    That number is Disconnected..

  3. Eric From Portland says:

    The number is back up and worked for me….

  4. MikeN says:

    I thought the * key doesn’t give you a working number.

  5. ± says:

    No to be too pedantic, but that number translates to 1-800-F1UCKYO, however the point is still made.

    • Tim says:

      1-800-3(F) 8(U) 2(C) 5(K) 9(Y) 6(O).

      It’s probably a black thing that they didn’t make the last digit an ‘8’.

    • Byte Me! says:

      That’s CENSORSHIP for ya!

  6. AlanB says:

    DOH!

  7. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    I’m with Dallas here. McCullough, so this is what you do with your spare time? Instead of calling this number, why not call your representative and tell his stubborn lazy ass to get to work.

  8. Byte Me! says:

    Note: Unconfirmed, the number seems to be down at the moment. Probably all those people scrambling to sign up.

    You sure about that? You sure it isn’t the Republican’s fault – AGAIN?!

  9. MikeN says:

    That 1 in the number makes the whole post pointless. What next, lets’ anagram the letters to find something funny?

    • greyangel says:

      I downloaded a program off the internet once that would display all the possible combinations of letters assigned to a phone number. You can get most phone numbers to spell out whatever you want. Did we really expect anyone to screen for one that could be used as more pointless inuendo?

  10. Just_AC says:

    Ahh, but if you call 800-382-5968 600-fu ckyou then you get p”Press 1 for Healthcare, press 2 if you are not intered. If you pressone, you get transferred to the number in this post. I wasn’t able to get through again to see what option two gave you

  11. Just_AC says:

    oops, that was 800-fu ckyou Dang keyboard messing up

  12. Just_AC says:

    LOL finally got through – option two is for free sex

  13. Tim says:

    You know, he is really just licking off the potato salad when he’s faking that face-palm.

  14. Hmeyers says:

    Obama didn’t do what LBJ would have done — Obama didn’t get involved in the legislation and micromanage it and make sure it was written well.

    He let Congress write the bill. Then left it with a “Mission Accomplished” and let it be an orphan.

    The voters and both parties deserve the blame in FULL. No Republicans are NOT blameless — the last time Republicans ran both the House and Senate they decided to take bribes and be a doing-nothing Congress — which is how they found themselves on the historic end of a 40-seat minority in the Senate when Obamacare was passed.

    But Obama and the Congress at the time deserve an F for passing a shitty 10,000 page bill of horseshit.

    Me? The comedy value alone makes this worth it for me!

    Europeans are laughing at us! And I’m laughing with them!

    Sure, someday I’ll probably have to pay. But everyone else will take the arrows in the back —

    and like usual, I’ll be chuckling and laughing my ass off in the background having a great time watching everyone panic!

    Price of admission for 2014: $95 bucks! I’ll live!

  15. Tim says:

    ThIs sERviCe IS QUiTe Popular so much so that it is getting clogged. You guys just need to respect the proper ettiquite when using the phone to streamline your assimilation. Here is a navigator-approved orientation ‘xplainer —

    http://youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=jW3yaNjIY4I#t=256

    • jpfitz says:

      What ya trying to do Tim? The gullible and unstable can’t handle this sort of programming.

  16. deowll says:

    And to think if BO, HR, and NP had actually given a rats tail about the poor people being uninsured they could have covered that by simply upping the amount that people could make and still qualify for medicaid. Did they do that? Nope but I have feeling our entire medical care system is going to be the mother of all dung heaps for at least the next few years.


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