The stupid boobs song on the Oscars, not withstanding…

Why do straight men devote so much headspace to those big, bulbous bags of fat drooping from women’s chests? Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men’s curious breast fixation, but now, a neuroscientist has struck upon an explanation that he says “just makes a lot of sense.”



  1. Dallas says:

    Hey sexy, those bulbous bags of fat drooping from your chest are rather nice and you have a spare !

  2. B. Dog says:

    Thanks for the picture. She would look good in my car, too.

  3. msbpodcast says:

    I’m an ass man myself.

    It makes me a more thoughtful fellow though.

    Whenever I see something I’d lust after, its going the wrong way…

    <sigh>

    • msbpodcast says:

      My marching song:

      “Baby Got Back”

      [Intro]
      Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
      It is so big. [scoff] She looks like,
      one of those rap guys’ girlfriends.
      But, you know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
      They only talk to her, because,
      she looks like a total prostitute, ‘kay?
      I mean, her butt, is just so big.
      I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like,
      out there, I mean – gross. Look!
      She’s just so … black!

      [Sir Mix-a-Lot]
      I like big butts and I can not lie
      You other brothers can’t deny
      That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
      And a round thing in your face
      You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
      ‘Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
      Deep in the jeans she’s wearing
      I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
      Oh baby, I wanna get with you
      And take your picture
      My homeboys tried to warn me
      But that butt you got makes me so horny
      Ooh, Rump-o’-smooth-skin
      You say you wanna get in my Benz?
      Well, use me, use me
      ‘Cause you ain’t that average groupie
      I’ve seen them dancin’
      To hell with romancin’
      She’s sweat, wet,
      Got it goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette
      I’m tired of magazines
      Sayin’ flat butts are the thing
      Take the average black man and ask him that
      She gotta pack much back
      So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
      Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
      Tell ’em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
      Shake that healthy butt!
      Baby got back!

      (LA face with Oakland booty)
      Baby got back!

      [Sir Mix-a-Lot]
      I like ’em round, and big
      And when I’m throwin’ a gig
      I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like an animal
      Now here’s my scandal
      I wanna get you home
      And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
      I ain’t talkin’ bout Playboy
      ‘Cause silicone parts are made for toys
      I want ’em real thick and juicy
      So find that juicy double
      Mix-a-Lot’s in trouble
      Beggin’ for a piece of that bubble
      So I’m lookin’ at rock videos
      Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin’ like hoes
      You can have them bimbos
      I’ll keep my women like Flo Jo
      A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
      I won’t cuss or hit ya
      But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
      Till the break of dawn
      Baby got it goin’ on
      A lot of simps won’t like this song
      ‘Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
      And I’d rather stay and play
      ‘Cause I’m long, and I’m strong
      And I’m down to get the friction on
      So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
      If you wanna roll in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
      Then turn around! Stick it out!
      Even white boys got to shout
      Baby got back!

      Baby got back!
      Yeah, baby … when it comes to females, Cosmo ain’t got nothin’
      to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she’s 5’3″.

      [Sir Mix-a-Lot]
      So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin’ workout tapes by Fonda
      But Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of her Honda
      My anaconda don’t want none
      Unless you’ve got buns, hun
      You can do side bends or sit-ups,
      But please don’t lose that butt
      Some brothers wanna play that “hard” role
      And tell you that the butt ain’t gold
      So they toss it and leave it
      And I pull up quick to retrieve it
      So Cosmo says you’re fat
      Well I ain’t down with that!
      ‘Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin’
      And I’m thinkin’ bout stickin’
      To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
      You ain’t it, Miss Thing!
      Give me a sister, I can’t resist her
      Red beans and rice didn’t miss her
      Some knucklehead tried to dis
      ‘Cause his girls are on my list
      He had game but he chose to hit ’em
      And I pull up quick to get wit ’em
      So ladies, if the butt is round,
      And you want a triple X throw down,
      Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
      And kick them nasty thoughts
      Baby got back!

      (Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]

  4. LibertyLover says:

    So, according the article, men like breasts because when we nibble the nipples, women get hornier. And horny women give up the booty. And guys like women who give up the booty. Thus, men stick around women who give up the booty.

    Gee, I would never have guessed that . . .

    That scientist needs to spend more time in a pub and less time in the lab.

  5. So what says:

    “no hobby should either seek or need rational justification. To wish to do it is reason enough. To find reasons why it is useful or beneficial converts it at once from an avocation into an industry–lowers it at once to the ignominious category of an ‘exercise’ undertaken for health, power, or profit.”

    Aldo Leopold.

    • daveo says:

      Thanks for those words, some things in life might be like magic tricks, when you find out what’s behind them they’re not so interesting.

  6. ± says:

    Boobs are nice, but I’ve never understood the fixation myself; it’s just not where the action is.

    • Engineer says:

      No, but to place an entertainment centre near a toxic waste outfall pipe show’s a clear lack of planning at the fundamental level.

      • circuitsmith says:

        Redd Foxx put it better:

        Why put the dining room next to the shit house?

  7. Goodyear says:

    Like two blimps in a dead heat.

  8. Rick says:

    I don’t care, I just let my brain stem take me wherever I need to go.

  9. Simon Templar says:

    Gives the ladies a way to get our attention.

  10. bobbo, Junior Freud advocate with a Genetic Overlay says:

    The first thing a human being does is cry, to suck air into its lungs. The second is to suck tit. Its called oral fixation and it gets sublimated into much of the human pysche: the need to belong. Society becomes one big tit from which we draw comfort.

    ….. and its all genetics. Reject the tit, and you die.

    Ipso Dipso.

    • Pablo says:

      So bobbo what your saying is. Facebook is the largest tit in the universe ?

      • bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist says:

        Heh…..you mean Facebook “as society?” No….Facedbook would be more Society’s Trash Heap would it not? Or some other minor function getting only as close as “the illusion of society?”

        That would be my call anyway.

  11. dcphill says:

    Thanks for the mammaries.

  12. mharry860 says:

    I saw this picture years ago, but never this high quality. I’m just going to spend the rest of the night staring at it, until the wife comes home.

  13. Gildersleeve says:

    “not all men are attracted to them….”? say whu? Sorry, not buying that statement. Then again, all you have to do is tell a guy he can’t have something and, heh, he’ll want it.

  14. orchidcup says:

    Women with extra-large mammaries have physiological problems their entire lives. Imagine having to carry around that much luggage all the time. They have lower back issues and extreme sagging issues as they get older, not to mention the stretch marks.

    They have psychological issues as well. Men don’t appreciate them for their mind, so they become mere sex objects and play toys for wealthy narcissistic and shallow men.

    I made all of that up.

    I love big squishy boobs and nice round asses.

    • jpfitz says:

      You got me. Lol.

      And now that stupid baby got back song is stuck in my head. Thanks mspod.

  15. Mr Diesel says:

    I can’t believe all you guys have gone this long and not one of you said you’d do her. (Sorry, I know you wouldn’t Dallas.)

    I’d do her until my dick fell off, then just nuzzle those funbags until I died a happy man.

  16. bobbo, who used to date a lot when he had the money to do so says:

    I dated a flat as a board babe and one melonliscious like the one pictured. They both were about the same… totally obsessed over their chestal areas. First one could shop for clothes pretty easily but other than that they were about the same. Of the two, the flat chested one was more fun. She could “do” more things rather than get off balance and fall over. (!?!). Probably nothing to do with the tits though.

    Pros and Cons….. to EVERYTHING!!!

    • jpfitz says:

      Me too. I didn’t know what to do with two handfuls of one breast, forgive me I was a bit naive. I also was with a flat chested woman who was more fun and secure about her chest.

      I’ll tell ya though when you go out to dinner with the bigger chested woman all the straight men do stare.

      • bobbo, who used to date a lot when he had the money to do so says:

        Our experiences and appreciations are about the same. Gets tiresome trying to ignore the attention of interloping sex fiends. In my case, the flat chested woman was extraordinarily beautiful, dyed blond with green eyes. Her one year older sister was a real trip. She couldn’t have boy friends at home because they all tried to use her to get to know her sister.

        Fun while it lasted, but I knew I was still early in rotation. Same as it ever was.

        “♫ If you want to be happy for the rest of your life… make an ugly woman your wife.” //// Ha, ha.

        Those old damn pro’s and con’s.

  17. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    If I had tits like those, I’d never leave my room.

  18. Max says:

    The woman pictured is Anna Song.

    You’r welcome.

  19. dave m brewer says:

    I thought they were for the big reach-around when she on all four.

  20. dave m brewer says:

    Who the hell is looking at the reflection in the window!!! Must be gay.

  21. John E. Quantum says:

    Boobs like those are weapons of mass distraction. I hope that car isn’t moving since she isn’t wearing her seatbelt.

  22. tigerjuju says:

    I would read the post, except I can’t seem to read past the photo for some reason…

  23. ivan says:

    It’s like Everest.
    Because they are there.

  24. deowll says:

    I think guys are hard wired to be attracted to the breasts of young females especially when they are in motion and equally hard wired to want to look anywhere but at the chest of a female whose breasts have flattened out the way a female who has nursed a kid or two without frontal support will.

    The first is ready to have your babies and the other has already had her babies and if you buy in you will most likely end up raising another guy’s kids rather than your kids so it computes.

  25. Scott M. says:

    Someone took a lot of time manipulating the original into the final photo. I wish to add my thanks to the digital artist, whoever he/she is.

  26. Ron says:

    I’m trying to figure out how those sleeves work.

  27. tnp says:

    I’m sorry, could you repeat the question please?

  28. Dallas says:

    Can we do a segment on male Olympic swimmers? Everybody likes those.

  29. MikeN says:

    But there is a growing conviction, notably in Canada, that paedophilia should probably be classified as a distinct sexual orientation, like heterosexuality or homosexuality. Two eminent researchers testified to that effect to a Canadian parliamentary commission last year, and the Harvard Mental Health Letter of 2010 stated baldly that paedophilia “is a sexual orientation” and therefore “unlikely to change.”

  30. raido says:

    Poor girl. Those things are a burden.

    • rumpfosteelskin says:

      Yeah a burden that will earn her at least a million more over her lifetime


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