A Photo of the Republicans candidates for President debating in Florida.

What do the candidates need to do to prove they are most conservative? How do they stand out from the pack? Here’s some ideas:

They can make a YouTube video of them clubbing a baby seal to death.

Promise to drill of oil in San Francisco Golden Gate Park.

If a woman gets pregnant through rape she has to marry the rapist.

Your employer can tell you where to go to church.

Require women to have to get their husband’s permission to get a drivers license.

Close all public schools and colleges.

No taxes at all for the top one percent.

Criminalize birth control, solar energy, teaching science, and yoga.

Require Atheists to go to church.

 



  1. Johan says:

    This is just trollish bullshit, and you know it.

  2. msbpodcast says:

    With one .50 cal bullet fired from the wings, you could take care of all of these bull-shitting, scum-sucking pedophagiastic 1%ers, but that would only address the symptom, not the disease.

    We’ve become a government
    • OF the thousandaires (the 99%, that would be me and thee,)
    • BY the millionaires (the 1%, that would be the extremely insular privileged overlords and bosses,)
    • FOR the billionaires (the 12,400 individuals identified by the IRS as the people who count (though they don’t really count as they hire some thousandaires to run machines to do that.)

    How is this different than the political situation that led to the founding of the United States?

    It ISN’T really.

    Just ONE change, not even a constitutional one, outlawing political parties for a century and we’d be rid of all of the graft and influence peddling for a century.

  3. alex says:

    This is the worst post I’ve ever read on this site. Trollish indeed.

    • River Monsters says:

      +1

    • Mark says:

      Agreed. This site is getting noticeably worse and partisan as time passes.

    • Dallas says:

      Dvorak, please throw these guys a bone. Can we warm over the Obama birthplace issue or Michele Obama’s travel plans?

      I would agree neither is fully settled and America needs to know.

  4. bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and dismayed Political Nihilist says:

    LOL! Yes, trollish indeed……..but…….. still to the left of Sanctorectum.

    well done Marc Perkel. It cannot even be recognized as almost sarcasm if it didn’t have more than a kernel of truth.

    A careful reread as I was going to say you concentrated on Sanctorectum but you also included no taxes at all for the job creators which is only just shy of what Romney is pushing for ==ie==not sarcastic at all. In fact, I hope no connected TeaPukes read this forum as they will get ideas.

    Again==well done. Sadly, not far enough from the truth.

    • Skeptic says:

      Bobbo, I agree with your opinion 100%. It’s a funny post because it is an exaggeration of the truths behind it.

      If you are not laughing… could it be the shame or guilt you are feeling?

      • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

        Wouldn’t that be nice?? – – – – – if it was shame or guilt? A way back from the morass? From the killing rooms, from the inhuman/all too human lack of recognition for the humanity in us all?

        And if you don’t recognize the humanity in us all, how could you think this was funny?

        Like the lesser monkeys staring in the mirror, our poor hard core previously registered Democrats have sold their souls to the banksters and are sailing on the river Styx, seeing not a kindred soul. All is wailing/wanting/consumed by a perceived self interest.

        Folly.

  5. The Fence says:

    The squirrel was more entertaining.

  6. Hmeyers2 says:

    Santorum gets my “stupidest” vote.

    Most conservative? WTF does that really mean? Ron Paul is the most “old skool” (but in a very imperfect way).

    If “conservative” means balancing a budget the most conversative is Romney.

    If “conservative” means not understand “college” and edubacation, that’s “Santorum”.

    Newt is a liberal, but in a contrarian way. He would be better as next-age Democrat who thinks a lot. He’s kind of like a white Obama who has insightful points of view of what is “really wrong” with this country. As a Republican, his affairs are a non-starter. In a way, he represents the flaws of our 2-party system.

    Romney is a sophisticated conservative. Which means he is really a liberal, but likes to balance budgets and has some sense of morality. This is too much like a liberal for the Tea Party peoples, but he has the cash to win the Republican nomination.

    Ron Paul’s conservatism is “old skool” but he lacks consistency in his view points and the kind of view points he has means big corporations won’t support him. Plus he’s really old. His view of drug legalization is ahead of his time, even though I’m not “pro-drugs” we are funding criminal activity and encouraging criminal offenses here and beyond our borders just like Prohibition did. Continue losing policy? Yes | No | Retry | Fail

  7. Pays2Think says:

    I take this as a serious question that they are asking themselves. “What do I have to do to convince these people”?

    At this point they have moved so far to the right that I think they would have to sacrifice a lamb and paint the blood all over them-self to convince their rabid followers that they are the one.

    LOL

  8. bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and dismayed Political Nihilist says:

    Hmeyers2 perhaps innocently says:
    3/1/2012 at 9:41 am

    If “conservative” means balancing a budget the most conversative is Romney. /// I went to the GOP Translater post and did not find “balancing the budget” but using the budget approach announced by Romney just 2 days ago: 20% tax cut “for all Americans ((sic–yes, thats what he said)), end of estate tax ((sic–yes no mention he would benefit personally to the tune of 80 Million Dollars)), increased Military spending, and no touching of the Social Safety Net.

    Now–if by balanced you mean: more tax cuts for the rich causing the deficit to deepen even more rapidly with balance only possible by cutting or doing away with every social support program except for Soc Sec and MediCare===then yea==Mitch is a real budget balancing conservative.

    Otherwise==you are just a stooge or a schill to pass this BS along as if it had ANY validity at all.

    ……cause it doesn’t.

    RICH = CRIMINAL.

    Why you so dumb?

  9. AdmFubar says:

    conservative, liberal, middle of the road.. it makes no different. those are terms used to keep the voters off balance and from seeing the real problem.
    candidates are bought and sold like bubble gum cards by corporations, they are ones in control. not the voters or even the politicos.

  10. Dallas says:

    LOL. Great list. You forgot what they need to do about the gay marriage national crisis.

  11. NewfornatSux says:

    Just now we have seen Oxford Univ argue that killing newborn babies is no different from abortion, and parents should be allowed to kill their newborns. Pretty soon, that will be the price of entry to the Democratic primary. We saw the last 2 primaries it was all about a contest of who could one up each other on the liberal scale while pretending to still be conservative at general election time(I oppose gay marriage. The President and I have the exact same position on the issue.)

    Howard Dean performed abortions. Obama voted against a bill requiring care for babies that survived attempted abortions.
    John Kerry cursing out the president. Kucinich calls for a Department of Peace. Hillary cried-OK that doesn’t count.

    • bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and dismayed Political Nihilist says:

      Actually, thats not true. Maddow just yesterday had a chart showing both parties trending more conservative as measured by whatever.

      I googled but can’t find the chart, maybe in a few days?

      Maddow and Schultz both use “charts” to demonstrate points not discussed by the other shows. In that vein, I have only just now come to realize how politcally focused msnbc is while CNN is more international and human interest while Fox really does come across as propaganda where the interviewers become quite aggressive in talking down their guests who provide a non-puritanical view point. When you kiss the ass of every fever minded knuckle dragger than comes on the show while pulling the plug on the liberdrools, I don’t think you can/should call that fair and balanced. Amusing to observe though.

      Then Cenk Yugur (sp?) made a fair point yesterday–all the mewing about the declining numbers of “moderate” Republicans such as Olympia Snow. BS he called it—she is very much conservative on almost all issues.

      And isn’t that the point of this thread?

  12. McCullough says:

    I give up. This election has to be rigged to keep Obama in charge. Who could possibly support these guys? The fact Santorum (especially) has gotten this far speaks volumes about how stupid the average American is. The same goes for the Obamabots.

    Every liberal friend of mine, when asked say they are “disappointed” in Obama’s performance, but they say it through clenched teeth. I suspect it’s a little more than disappointment. None seem to know about the NDAA provision, or the other violations of the Constitution by a so-called Constitutional scholar, or maybe they just don’t think it’s important.

    This country is totally fucked. I’m going back to being apolitical. Go ahead and root for the loser of your choice.

  13. bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and dismayed Political Nihilist says:

    McCullough unconsciously reveals:
    3/1/2012 at 11:26 am

    I give up. /// Maybe so. Doubtful. Issue though is on what exactly–or more correctly?

    This election has to be rigged to keep Obama in charge. Who could possibly support these guys? /// So you have not given up on the desire for our government to actually work? Good man.

    The fact Santorum (especially) has gotten this far speaks volumes about how stupid the average American is. /// No–just the active voters in the Republican Primaries.

    The same goes for the Obamabots. /// How so when as you note the alternative is this Taliban Clown Car of Morons? See–your own intellect reveals you see a real choice here, but then like Animby, you pretend you don’t know any better. “♫ What’s up wid dat?”

    Every liberal friend of mine, when asked say they are “disappointed” in Obama’s performance, but they say it through clenched teeth. //// I think of you as my friend Mc==and yes, thats how I do it.

    I suspect it’s a little more than disappointment. /// Correctamundo.

    None seem to know about the NDAA provision, or the other violations of the Constitution by a so-called Constitutional scholar, or maybe they just don’t think it’s important. /// Yes, I do know===again, think of the alternative.

    This country is totally fucked. /// Yep. Does make one wonder how much worse it can get before “something” happens.

    I’m going back to being apolitical. /// You can’t. But “♫ Sweet dreams………”

    Goahead and root for the loser of your choice. /// What? Fishing for a compliment?

    Ha, ha.

  14. McCullough says:

    bobb0 – I’m going back to being apolitical. /// You can’t. But “♫ Sweet dreams………”

    Sure I can. I left the US before for many years and did not follow politics since I had to give up my “privilege” to vote. Thus apolitical.

    I still have my home in that location and will return in the next year or two. Since I will be unable to vote…I won’t care anymore. This election I will vote for RP write in if necessary.

    You don’t HAVE to live with this shit if you don’t want to.

  15. bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

    Thanks Mc–but I don’t think being disqualified or not qualified to vote equates with being apolitcal. Its “related” but not the same idea at all.

    Defined: The state or quality of being apolitical can be the apathy and/or the antipathy towards all political affiliations.[1] Being apolitical can also refer to situations in which people take an unbiased position in regard to political matters. /// You demonstrate in your comment that you do care, you do make political judgments CAUSING you great disgust and your removal of self from the unpleasant stimulus.

    Maybe you meant: apocalyptical? //// If not flowers, then weeds?

  16. NewfornatSux says:

    You left out calling for a deficit of less than one trillion dollars.

  17. LibertyLover says:

    Looks like we’re going to war with Iran.

    http://marketoracle.co.uk/Article33379.html

    • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

      Hey Numbnuts: you wanna NAME and CONNECT your dots for us? Its IRAN who’s barred from making transactions in dollars, still the international currency of choice.

      You appear not to understand cause from effect.

      Putting the TARD in LIEberTARD?

      Ha, ha.

      • LibertyLover says:

        Sigh. Still don’t know how to read.

        • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

          OK–LL==prove me wrong. NAME AND CONNECT your dots.

          I don’t think you can do it.

          Prove me wrong.

          Note: you know how you actually get smarter/more competent in life? === Recognizing when you are wrong, learning from it, and making the better argument.

          -or- you can just cling to your idiotic dogma until your pimples clear up.

          Prove me wrong.

          • LibertyLover says:

            Do you recall me telling you anything I write here was for everybody but you?

            If not, consider this a reminder:

            You seem to think I give a rat’s ass what you think of me or my opinions. You couldn’t be farther from the truth. Save your comments for someone who does give one.

          • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

            LL – putting the Loser in Loser.

            Yeap. Can’t read. Can’t argue. Can’t respond.

            ……..but…never in doubt.

            Fools are like that.

            Reality: its what bumps your nose when you think nothing is there.

            Challenge. Win or Lose. Learn. Challenge again. Lather. Repeat.

            You’ll never start the journey if you don’t take the first step.

            “♫ baby needs a new pair of shoes…”

        • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

          I’ll go first:

          USA is freezing Iranian Assets (eg, but not limited to USA Dollars) so Iran is now reduced to BARTERING their one and only asset: Oil ((pistachio nuts have crashed in the international bartering system)).

          You see LL—the Sanctions are having an effect/working as you will.

          NO REASON—for the USA to go to WAR as the SANCTIONS ARE WORKING.

          I very much doubt USA will lead any assault on Iran or even support one. Probably would join in preventing a counterstrike though.

          Dots: Iran – bartering – gold – Sanctions working: Ergo, no war with Iran.

          I should you mine.

          Clank, clank.

          • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

            Alfie–you are a shrewd political pundit. How often do you share sex tips with Limbaugh? Yeah, just the tip because you give the shaft to everyone else.

            Hee, hee.

      • JimD, Boston, MA says:

        I think it was Iran that, under the Shah, got a complete set of CURRENCY PRINTING EQUIPMENT FROM THE TREASURY and now Iran pays for their international payments in CASH WITH THEIR 100’S JUST AS GOOD AS OURS !!! So much for their boycott and cash embargo !!!

        • LibertyLover says:

          Yeah, but with the value of the dollar being so low compared to 70 years ago, they would need a few dozen more sets.

          Everything is electronic these days — easier to keep people under their thumbs when you can cut off their access to money with the press of a button.

          Iraq tried this — not using dollars for trade — and look what happened to them.

  18. dusanmal says:

    Trolling BS but still underlying exactly what Progressive Left fails to see: it is NOT about Government ordering you around to the “Right” standards, Government ordering you around is Progressive Big Powerful Government idea.
    Conservatives won’t order you or enjoy to club the baby seals. However, if you want to make money from their fur – you, the individual should be able to do so because you the Human making livelihood is absolutely more important than all the baby seals in the World. Conservatives do not want to order anyone to drill SF parks for oil but if you OWN the property and have found oil there Conservatives want you to be able to drill it even if it is indeed SF park. None of Government business to obstruct you. Next one is triple distortion. If woman gets raped no one ever introduced a law even limiting her abortion choices. However, no law should make Government pay for it. Did Government rape the women? No. Government duty is to catch the rapist and imprison him. Woman herself or charity interested in helping should help with her getting proper health care. Where the marrying extreme comes from – Perkel knows. Conservatives do not want any employer telling employee what religion to practice, NOR OTHER WAY AROUND and particularly not either to be told by the Government what their personal religious standards are. Conservatives are the ones fighting for women in other cultures to get rights including drivers license, Progressives sing together with and “appreciate” cultural differences of those cultures “as they are”. No Government involved, private charities fighting for woman rights. Ah, schools – conservatives want same for all as the Elites (say, President Obama) have for themselves – ability to pick and choose, not to have children herded to Institutions for Unlimited Teacher Benefits. Also, Conservatives realize that some of bards of our economy have NOT gone to College. Insisting that all should is elitist (have President Obama or Bill Gates achieved more for the country and the World?). Dis-intermediate Government in education, money directly to Parents not to Teacher Unions. Conservative mantra is TRUE equality – same tax percentage from all. Equal treatment of ALL human beings when it comes to taxes. Progressives want class warfare where one group must pay more in proportion than other, just by the wealth alone. What’s next? – red-haired people paying more? Government should never be able to discriminate like that, all people must appear same to it. No conservatives wants to criminalize “birth control, solar energy, teaching science, and yoga” – conservatives want those to be available for anyone who wants them at their own cost. Again that “Government doing” mistake, no Government involved here either way. Have all “birth control, solar energy, teaching science, and yoga” you want – AT YOUR OWN COST AND CHOICE. (Well, even Progressives should worry about yoga – Global Warming is their cause and by all reports amounts of methane released in those sessions is such that some Left celebrities state that as the reason for quitting the yoga). Government should not make anyone attend any church… nor prevent anyone expressing their religion wherever they see fit to express it. Freedom of religion, not from religion. No mandatory Christianity, Islam, … or Atheism. No obstruction of Christianity, Islam,… Atheism. But that is hard to be understood by the people who think that Government must mandate everything and anything or it is the end of the World.

  19. bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

    Gee Whiz Dismal–your more off your nut today than either Alfie or Loser. Downward spiral, meds, or hot topic?

    “We” all benefit when women are not forced to bear children they don’t want.

    Silly for you and the Pukes to conflate your religion with other peoples’ desire to be free of your stupidity.

    Yea, verily.

  20. So what says:

    Jesus this is simple, to prove your the most conservative ask alfie for his endorsement. It will from a historical perspective ruin any chance for the presidency, but it would be proof that your so conservative you only use your brain on off leap years where February ends on the 30th.

  21. Gildersleeve says:

    Booooorrrrringgg.

  22. deowll says:

    I can appreciate a good political joke but that was just stupid. Yes I know it was supposed to denigrate conservatives but when something gets that stupid it denigrates the person that wrote it and the people that post it.

  23. Animby says:

    Pure liberal, squirrel hugging, trolling.

  24. Confuzled says:

    Another piece of Perkel CRAP. Dvorak needs to get rid of this P.O.S.

  25. Dr Spearmint Fur says:

    Grand Ayatollah or Grand Old Party? Can you spot the whack job.

  26. bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

    Always nice to awake to a brand new day. What have we got left over? I see little bits of corn.

    Alfie says:
    3/1/2012 at 7:11 pm:
    Sure bobbo—pregnancy is a disease contraception and abortion health care can cure… /// Your metaphor is a bit rough, but it works. Not coming to our shores soon enough: European ethicists suggesting that after live birth abortions raise no moral questions not already addressed by pre-birth abortions. The point is completely correct, and fails for that very reason. Amusing?

    You the booty pirate at Barney Frank’s wedding? /// Quite a funny video link there Aflie. Well Done. Barnie and and Dumbo’s should have, and along with Obama should now==do more to interfere with the Puke’s rape of the middle class wealth transfer to the rich. Liar Loans were certainly part of the fraud.

    So what says:
    3/1/2012 at 4:30 pm :
    “Jesus this is simple, to prove your the most conservative ask alfie for his endorsement.? /// Much as I disdain the conservative CONFLATION with Pukes: I still stop short of taring them with Alfie’s unique brand of religious crap-o-la. Let’s all give Alfie his due, and those choosing to vote Puke their own separate Hell. No reason to CONFLATE.

    Gildersleeve says:
    3/1/2012 at 5:20 pm:
    Booooorrrrringgg. /// Quite invigorating yourself. Clever to demonstrate by exemplifying.

    do-ill says:
    3/1/2012 at 5:31 pm:
    I can appreciate a good political joke /// obviously not.
    but that was just stupid. /// No, right on the mark (sic)
    Yes I know it was supposed to denigrate conservatives /// Getting harder and harder to do these days. All you have to do is quote them – – – or do you join this clusterf*ck of asstards by thinking removing contraceptives from healthcare plans has nothing to do with contraceptives? An argument lost in the 60’s?

    Animby says:
    3/1/2012 at 7:04 pm:
    Pure liberal, squirrel hugging, trolling. /// If it was “pure” there would be no humor at all. We libs are loao so we certainly see the humor. If you don’t, its because you are an asstard. Thats what social satire does. Reveals the luminescent in dark light. Are you glowing Animby?

    Confuzled says:
    3/1/2012 at 10:17 pm:
    Another piece of Perkel CRAP /// More proof the humor was unsurmountable–nothing but dislocated ad hominem BS. Can’t make “an argument” about anything said because it fits too close. Boo hoo—poor little pukes. Boo hoo.

    Dr Spearmint Fur says:
    3/1/2012 at 11:50 pm:
    Grand Ayatollah or Grand Old Party? /// FTW!!! You must have no sense of humor at all???

    Yes, my pointy headed pukes your perfidy and perfunctory posing protests are perforated by reality.

    In a real thinking human being, this thread would give one pause.

    Carry on.

  27. ECA says:

    Puritans, were less Puritanical..

  28. NewfornatSux says:

    Anyone who votes for Barack Obama has no standing to claim to care about the Constitution. There is the war with Libya that was not authorized by Congress. More significantly, there is the recess appointments when the Senate was not in recess.

    • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

      Say makes NoF*ckingSense: how do those issues even if true or relevant make any difference when all the candidates except Ron Paul would do the same?

      Do you mean to actually be saying Ron Paul or other recidivist isolationists have the ONLY policy that matters to an informed electorate?

      Is that what you mean Bunky?

      Proving you’re never too old to learn something stupid. Tell us it ain’t so?

      • NewfornatSux says:

        I don’t know of any candidate that would make recess appointments when the Senate is not in recess.

  29. NewfornatSux says:

    Obama may have proven he is the most liberal with his statement that the future of American energy is algae.

  30. bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

    Ha, ha. Nice counterpoint: to think of the future after sullying ourselves with the past?

    Certainly, algae will have it role and even multiple roles? Bio-oil of course, but even as I typed this I thought why not burn it directly as a substitute for coal?

    Whats more fun is solar energy cracking water into hydrogen as the source for all kinds of hydrogen based technologies. Its something that is not hard to do at home for us hobbyists.

    The future will bring all kinds of fascinating and wonderful changes if we don’t kill ourselves off first which does seem to be looming ever more threatening in front of us. Doom. Another interesting subject.

    Money won’t save you from doom. Only extend the suffering in the best case? Thats why I have a stash of box wine and nachos!

    Cheers! Silly Hoomans.


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