It’s the 30+ year olds, back in mommy and daddy’s house, that you have to watch out for.

NOT under my roof. That’s the attitude most American parents have toward teenagers and their sex lives. Squeamishness and concern describe most parents’ approach to their offspring’s carnality. We don’t want them doing it — whatever “it” is! — in our homes. Not surprisingly, teenage sex is a source of conflict in many American families.

Would Americans increase peace in family life and strengthen family bonds if they adopted more accepting attitudes about sex and what’s allowable under the family roof? I’ve interviewed 130 people, all white, middle class and not particularly religious, as part of a study of teenage sex and family life here and in the Netherlands. My look into cultural differences suggests family life might be much improved, for all, if Americans had more open ideas about teenage sex. The question of who sleeps where when a teenager brings a boyfriend or girlfriend home for the night fits within the larger world of culturally divergent ideas about teenage sex, lust and capacity for love.




  1. Angel H. Wong says:

    #32, spsffan,

    That too. But for teenage boys I believe a mandatory masturbation before going out on a date should be the answer. Once they’re done they will lose interest and might as well go back to playing Call of Duty instead of going out.

  2. What? says:

    Or, they may see the female for who she actually is (good, bad, or ugly) rather than only a source of sexual satisfaction.

  3. Drive By Poster says:

    At the risk of responding to the original post’s study, the study is grossly flawed because it controls for only 2-3 factors between 2 separate cultures.

    For one thing, since the Netherlands is further north, and therefore colder, than much of America in the winter, the Dutch have have to learn the art of getting along with others in the same house for a good chunk of the year. Ditto for the Swiss. In America, a large chunk of the population can sleep outside without freezing during the winter if things get bad in the house. So less cohabitation adjustments are needed in America than in the Netherlands.

  4. Who says:

    My parents would find out my definition of eternity; after I come and she leaves. Not to mention the ones that bang on my door at 4:00 a.m. and I have to get up and let them out.

  5. JimD says:

    Hey, at least you would save on Motel Rooms, and wouldn’t be bringing BED BUGS HOME !!! So there is an up side !!!

  6. Holdfast says:

    1. Tell them about the birds and the bees BEFORE they decide to start finding out for themselves. That is generally by the age of 13 – or before if necessary.

    2. Do Facebook and let them “friend” you – not the other way round.

    3. Be discreet

    4. Repeat step 1 when things come up on TV

    5. Girls can get implants. This does not stop STIs but they should know about condoms.

    6. Boys get condoms and told about the 2 bricks.

    #28 If condoms around you fail 15% of the time, I really think there is a problem. Are you talking about 15c ones or good ones?

  7. Gov't Mule says:

    I have a friend who has a daughter so ugly he has to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her. In the unlikely event that she ever is able to have sex with a male, he gave her an almost foolproof form of birth control- aspirin tablets. The directions must be followed exactly for it to work properly though. He instructed her to take one aspirin immediately before beginning the deed and directed her to hold it tightly between her knees.

  8. Gildersleeve says:

    This isn’t tough. If you have a steady income, health insurance, your own car (and insurance) and your own apartment / home – you can have all the sex you want. If you don’t have these things, you’re supposed to finish school, therefore you don’t have enough TIME for sex.

  9. Buzz Mega says:

    “Hey, Jennifer. Your mom and I have decided to give you something for your thirteenth birthday that the French girls all have. Your own door to the side yard and your own bidet.”

  10. MikeN says:

    >It’s as simple as this. Kids are gonna fuck, whether you like it or not,

    No they won’t. Parental influence actually does matter. As does cultural influence.

  11. Ben-in-the-woods says:

    > #26, Condoms carry somewhere around a 15%
    > failure rate … Encouraging sexual activity in
    > minors is far from being responsible; and that
    > has nothing to do with the question of moral
    > repression.

    Condoms are better than no condoms, but it is indeed better to use two types of birth control. The thing about being sensible (not encouraging them, just talking to them about it) is that you can tell them that. The point of having the bowl of condoms is just so they are there if needed.

    Of course, I could just beat them every time they got horny or thought dirty thought … maybe I’ll try that next time …


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