This would go over big here in Vegas.

An idea we had been dying to build for over a year, AutoWed is a novelty wedding machine offering a quick hitch, a couple of rings and a personalised certificate for just £1/$1. Audio prompts, specially produced music, a bespoke retro keyboard and VFD display, ring vending and ticket printer all wrapped up in a Cadillac-pink cabinet with shiny aluminium fittings. We built the unit shown here specially for Marvin’s Marvellous Mechanical Museum in Detroit, USA.

Buy now – call us and we will build you one to order.

Found by Gary, The Dangerous Infidel




  1. foobar says:

    Cool. The bleeding heart of Jesus picture at the top is a nice touch. No mess, no fuss. It should do a breathalyzer alcohol check as well.

    #1 Winner of the Bicurious George Comment of the Day.

  2. It’ll be found next to the AutoDivorce machines in a quickie store locations everywhere.

  3. Number 5 says:

    I always drink coffee while watching radar.

  4. Gary, the dangerous infidel says:

    Will and Kate ordered one of these for their wedding, but it wasn’t finished in time, so they settled for the Archbishop of Canterbury. Kate was tearful when she first learned the news that the AutoWed wouldn’t be available, but she put on a very brave public face, proving that she will be a worthy member of the royal family.

  5. JimD says:

    Warning: “Marriage is very easy, divorce very expensive – but worth every penny !!!”

    By the way, where is the Pre-Nup Machine ???

  6. rick says:

    It sounds like it was made out of a 1985 Speak & Spell machine.


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