Well, this is all extremely ironic. Here’s a speech that Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg gave yesterday to 8th graders graduating from the Belle Haven Community School in Menlo Park, California, the same city where Facebook’s giant new headquarters will be located.

Zuckerberg, who showed up in his standard uniform of t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, stressed to the kids that “there’s no shortcuts” to success. (Grammar shortcuts are okay, apparently.) Then he went on to say that it’s important to pick a career you really love and that “great friendships” make life “fun and meaningful.” We’re pretty sure dropping out of college and screwing over the friend you started your company with contradict two of the three principles, but, hey, at least he didn’t butcher a cow in front of them. [via TechCrunch]

Sorry, even I couldn’t listen to this crap. And I still don’t have a Facebook account.




  1. faustus says:

    i though i was the only person left who doesn’t have a facebook account

  2. RicoSuave says:

    I don’t have a FB account either. I deleted it about 3 years ago. Started to become to myspace-y with the apps on the walls and such.

  3. spsffan says:

    Never had a Facebook account. Never even looked at the damned website until yesterday, and that was by clicking a link from someplace else.

    Hum. Billionaires for 8th grade graduation speeches? What the f*ck is the world coming to?

    No, I wouldn’t listen. I bet the kids didn’t either. 14 year olds are so well behaved, after all! 🙂

  4. foobar says:

    Had a Facebook account. Realized just how creepy lit was. Canned my Facebook account.

  5. What? says:

    Zuckerberg is The Douchbag Posterboy.

  6. jpfitz says:

    I have a FB account because I have a twenty something year old Daughter and wanted to see what the fuss was all about years ago. Plus checking a sampling of her photos for improprieties. Being an electronic parent.

    Zuckerberg is telling the kiddies to have friends as many as you can. School work not so important.
    The kid in the tee shirt is just shilling his product. Shame

    I rarely visit or need too anymore.

  7. Mextli, Brother, Can You Spare a Dime? says:

    Maybe it’s age but FB and Twitter don’t interest me a bit.

  8. oldfart says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you Corporate web filter, for blocking this crap. I will be forever grateful for protecting me from that toxic garbage spewed from the mouth of a piece of shit.

    I would not have wanted to see it anyway, but thanks for looking out for my sanity.

    Yes, I am serious.
    fuck the zuck

  9. #1 hey I don’t have a Facebook account either!

  10. WhamaLamma says:

    #1,9 and other more intelligent folks.

    I had a faceplant acct for about a month around 3 years ago. I had it deleted immediately when that became possible. So glad, I’ve never been back.

  11. The Pirate says:

    No Facebook here.
    No MySpace.
    No Pet Rocks.
    Never Hula-Hooped either.

    Lawn Darts, however, rock!

  12. The Pirate says:

    P.S – #6 jpfitz
    Twenty Something?
    Cut the frickin’ cord already.
    You’re not concerned, you’re a helicopter.

  13. chuck says:

    They have a graduation ceremony for 8th graders?

    The speech should have been:
    “You’ve finished Grade 8. Big deal. You’ve got 4 more years to meet the minimum expectations of your parents and future employers. Get on with it.”

  14. Skeptic says:

    I’m Faceless too.

  15. Who says:

    I have a sitonmyfacebook account.

  16. clancys_daddy says:

    #12 Depends on 20 something what. 20-22 in college that I am paying for your damn right I would. Otherwise yeah its rather creepy. Of course I have no face book, twitter, myspace, no smart phone either, its for making phone calls that’s why its called a phone. I do however have a rather nice falcon northwest and an I buy power custom rig.

  17. TThor says:

    No FB here either. “The Accidental Billionaires” describes this douchebag’s road to fame and fortune. His doublestandards are disgusting. This guy has no shame, a power hungry brat!

  18. Thomas says:

    “Listens kids. success isn’t just about being a douchebag. It’s about being a douchebag at the right time to the right people. That’s what friends are for”

    This guy is a putz. Granted, he’s a billionaire now that probably spent most of his childhood being stuffed into lockers or getting wedgies but he’s still a tool.

  19. bobbo, are we Men of Ideas, or just gossipy little girls says:

    Isn’t posting your personal likes and dislikes, personal history, exactly what FaceBook is all about?

    Looks like most posting their dislike for it actually have a strong need for such a service.

    Lets give it a shot?………Who here likes me?–No silly, not what I post, but me. ME!!!!!

    Heh, heh.

  20. steve says:

    Soon facebke will be the my space of social networking,they have deplorable customer service and knowledge base for resolving issues and deserve little credit for their success except at the right place at the right time but this will fade.he is a social networking pimp.

  21. steve says:

    blah,blah,blah,blah.

  22. HenryG says:

    I couldn’t listen…Z’s a lousy speaker; he’s promoting his social networking company to youngsters…I am a Toastmaster. I know good public speaking when I hear it…even though he’s a billionaire he’s a poor public speaker.

  23. What? says:

    He’ll be brought down by his ego and dick, film at eleven.

    And he’s already bat crazy.

  24. Dallas says:

    Well, I have Facebook, twitter, etc and use it. When that blows over, I’ll use the next big thing. If anything, to stay current on the latest technologies.
    It’s great to see leaders and ceo’s talk to young people about their future. Kudos to mr. Z

  25. Marsh says:

    #24. Bleet bleet little sheeple.

  26. bbjester says:

    Good to see that I am not the only one to shun the social networking craze. I did however have a MySpace account once, I have since deleted it. Although it enabled me to touch base with several old friends for a couple weeks, I just couldn’t get into it. Some people’s pages are so loaded with junk that it would actually crash my browser. Others are just plain unreadable. Want a crash course on poor web design look no further than taking a spin around MySpace.As far as Facebook goes, well why would I want to give R. Murdoch the pleasure of serving me adverts.

  27. Evan says:

    No body cares if you don’t have a face book account. Go outside or something, for the love of god!

  28. The0ne says:

    What’s with all the hate! I thought you people were people loving freaks or was that for other countries only? *barf*

    facebook can suck it.

  29. madtruckman says:

    Hey wait a second… He DIDN’T butcher a cow in front of them?? If he had, that may have been the only education these kids may have gotten in their whole lives…. *sigh*

  30. ray says:

    Who’s Mark Zuckerman?


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