UPDATE: 4:44am, Pacific Time — Hasn’t happened yet. We will keep you informed of breaking non-happening news as the day go on.
UPDATE: 7:17am, Pacific Time — Still unRaptured.
UPDATE: 12:31pm, Pacific Time — Nothing yet, unless it’s happened and it’s the same as before.
UPDATE: 3:23pm, Pacific Time — I’m still here. Are you?
UPDATE: 6:55pm, Pacific Time — Running out of time for time to run out.
UPDATE: 11:59pm, Pacific Time — I’m thinking this ain’t gonna happen. Good night!
I’m currently planning on getting my laundry done tomorrow, no matter what happens.
Thousands of people around the country have spent the last few days taking to the streets and saying final goodbyes before Saturday, Judgment Day, when they expect to be absorbed into heaven in a process known as the rapture. Nonbelievers, they hold, will be left behind to perish along with the world over the next five months.
With their doomsday T-shirts, placards and leaflets, followers — often clutching Bibles — are typically viewed as harmless proselytizers from outside mainstream religion. But their convictions have frequently created the most tension within their own families, particularly with relatives whose main concern about the weekend is whether it will rain.
[…]
Ms. Douglas and other believers subscribe to the prophesy of Harold Camping, a civil engineer turned self-taught biblical scholar whose doomsday scenario — broadcast on his Family Radio network — predicts a May 21, 2011, Judgment Day. On that day, arrived at through a series of Bible-based calculations that assume the world will end exactly 7,000 years after Noah’s flood, believers are to be transported up to heaven as a worldwide earthquake strikes. Nonbelievers will endure five months of plagues, quakes, wars, famine and general torment before the planet’s total destruction in October. In 1992 Mr. Camping said the rapture would probably be in 1994, but he now says newer evidence makes the prophesy for this year certain.
With the end of the world predicted every so often, perhaps we should just make it a yearly event. A national holiday! I could use another day off from work…
Harold Camping, explaining it all.
We think this group is nuts because they are predicting the end of the world tomorrow, but most Christians believe the same thing except for the date. So if these people are nuts then why are mainstream Christians less nuts?
Kind of hope that’s a rhetorical question. But if not, they are just as nuts. For an example see alfie.
It’s true. Tomorrow marks the end of the War Powers Act, courtesy of Barack Obama.
OH NOES, I don’t want to be left behind!
Damn! I meant to max out my credit cards today. It’s 20:30 here in Thailand. Maybe I could go buy out a massage parlor for the rest of the night. Hope the end doesn’t start too early in the morning.
If I see the four horsemen coming, I’ll try to drop you all a warning – give you time to repent, maybe say a few Hail, Marys. Or hide you porn collections from Jebus.
Damn jebus phreaks!
Excellent! My tires need to be replaced and I was really not looking forward to spending that kind of money. Problem solved.
Oh, and as for mainstream Christians? Definitely bat shit crazy as well.
Hm.
It’s 12:04 here in GMT+10, and nothing has happened yet.
Guess I’m in for a long day waiting…
But of that day and hour knoweth no [man], no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. Matthew 24:36
I guess that dude cant read his own bible…
A nondenominational group called the Ontario Consultants for Religious Tolerance has a great web site that explains the basic tenants of hundreds of religions. One major topic is: TEOTWAWKI: “The-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it” prophecies.
There are several dozen documented there. They differ wildly, but the only thing that they have in common is that all of them have failed.
Well, when you’re a nut-bag ‘o bones who is clearly a cadaverous runner up for Crypt Kidder what do you have to lose by making these insane prediction?
Maybe his world will end when he goes to bed tonight, not ours. He looks like it already has.
Apocalyptic visions are a staple of the entertainment industry.
Throughout Hollywood history we’ve been subjected to a ton of titles like: Independence Day, Transformers, The Fall of Sodom and Gomorra (which always sounded like it should be a cheezy Japanese monster/horror[unintentional comedy] flick).
What is religion except entertainment without any beauty pageant?
I’m getting a pedicure tomorrow. I don’t want to look like fucking trailer trash when I’m heading to heaven.
According to http://RaptureReady.com, the ‘End Times Top Ten’ includes:
1. Natural Disasters – Earthquakes and Tornadoes
2. Unrest in the Middle East
3. Europe’s Financial Crisis
4. Preparation of an Attack on Iran’s Nuclear Facilities
5. China’s Growing Economic and Military Might
6. Global Currency
7. Big Brother Taking Over
8. U.S. National Debt Load
9. Terrorism
10. Friction Between the U.S. and Israel
Say your sayonaras now, brothers and sisters!
Wonder if Standard or Daylight Savings time makes a difference?
I worked with a Rapturist a few years back. One day he took an elevator alone up a couple of floors, and hit the wrong button. When the door opened, and he saw an empty floor, he was shocked that the Rapture occured and left him all alone on earth!
Such is the delusion of religion.
Almost as crazy as believing in a green acres fairytale after your existence ends instead of the same reality you face as does a centipede, a bacteria, or a rose. Nothing remaining except a bit of dust.
As hard to understand since we are all so self absorbed. As hard to understand as the incredible vastness of this single universe, yet alone others.
As hard to understand as the concept of time.
Better to just enjoy it while you can.
Sad thing is, when I die, all the knowledge I have accumulated is just gone. All the books, pointless. Everything just gone.
So I can understand why people make up shit.
If I max out my credit who can I sue if the world carries on as normal?
See you on the other side free of the loons.
Look for signs for the Post Rapture Party.
Hey everybody God here.
Yes I post on dvorak.org I work in mysterious ways thought I made that clear(oh wait that doesn’t make since)
Anywho I’m busy tomorrow so I won’t be able to end your world. Hope your not to disappointed. Not to worry your sun will go all red giant in about 5 billion years. and I lost a bunch of big asteroids one of them might stop by before that.
But seriously I help those who help themselves so if you want the world to end I have FAITH you can handle it all by yourselves.
Oh and alfie stop being obsequious its so annoying and to tell the truth you just don’t get me.
…those progressives relying upon Mayan prophecies… to predict the end of the world.
Who are these people? To all my friends and acquaintances the end is nothing but a big joke. As it should be. As it is.
But, being left here alone might be fun, so long as there are no damned zombies or whatever, like in I Am Legend, and all those other movies.
Now here’s my plan:
Apparently the Instigator Of The Universe is working with local Earth time, and the Rapture begins at the International Date Line, taking about 24 hours to sweep around the planet.
On first reports from New Zealand/Australia and the far East, I will start converting to becoming BornAgain. This is not cynical, just prudent.
My theory being that the lady who invented this Universe is not playing a game of fooled-you-with-science-and-math in that those are understandable tests of creation and thinking that depend on evidence and proofs. Why make Creation without verification? That’s the mark of a Jerk Entity, not the one deserving the G word.
That’s IT!!! I’m sick and tired of all this crap.
I’m taking my Rapture and going Home.
The whole thing is OFF! Canceled. Kaput! Nada. Zilch.
You folks are on your own!
Alfie I’ve told you once
do not invite my WRATH
Hey guys he doesn’t speak for me and I have NEVER spoken to him he’s not even reading the right religious comic books .
In his extensive travels throughout the universe, Jesus got lost and can’t find his way back to Earth. This may also explain why he wasn’t here to whisper into George Bush’s ear the location of Bin Laden’s hideout. That could have been a huge Christian victory, but the Savior missed out on the opportunity to help one of his dearest friends. He was probably too proud to stop and ask directions from a passing angel.
If the Messiah had used the tried-and-true method of leaving a trail of breadcrumbs as he left, perhaps he’d be back by now. Tick-tock, Jesus!
Rapture, Schnapture! Forget about the Rapture! It a’int happening!
But there is a metaphysical event which I have foreseen that would make the Rapture look like a walk on the beach anyway.
I’m talking about the RUPTURE, Brothers and Sisters! That’s when the LHC at CERN tears a giant hernia in the space time continuum and everyone is hurdled headlong into the gaping Maw of Chaos!
Everyone, that is, except those chosen few who are wearing the sacred Amulet of Absolution!
For it is written that they shall be spared the terrors of this horrific cataclysm and be transported instead to a land of milk & honey and cold filtered draft beer.
So don’t delay, order your Amulet of Absolution now while supplies last! Operators are standing by!
We should bury Harold no matter what happens.
#32 LOL. Yeah, the body has already decomposed badly 😉
Have a bottle of hard stuff and something rolled in a “just in case” box. Items have needed to be replaced from time to time over years.
The end of the world has been predicted for generations. Religious types blame God, while others blame the Atomic bomb, and lately Uncle Al and the Warmies blame global warming, climate change or what ever they are calling it this month.
Regardless of whither it’s religion, fear mongering, or questionable scientific practices driven by political agendas, it all boils down to fear.
Mother Earth has been around for a long time and I suspect that she’ll be around long after we are long gone.
#25 Alfie said: “36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.”
Wouldn’t it be gloriously ironic if the world DID end tomorrow and Alfie had to consider the fact that a man DID know and, therefore, his bible had lied to him???