PISCATAWAY, N.J. — The pouf is mightier than the pen when it comes to speaking fees at New Jersey’s largest university. The Rutgers University Programming Association paid Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi of the reality TV show “Jersey Shore” $32,000 Thursday to dish on her hairstyle, fist pumps, as well as the GTL – gym, tanning, laundry – lifestyle.

That’s $2,000 more than the $30,000 the university is paying Nobel-winning novelist Toni Morrison to deliver Rutgers’ commencement address in May. Money for Polizzi’s appearance came from the mandatory student activity fee. Freshman Adham Abdel-Raouf told The Star-Ledger of Newark he thought the price was a bargain given Snooki’s popularity. Another freshman, Dan Oliveto, said it was a waste of money.

Snooki’s advice to students: “Study hard, but party harder.”

This seems to be legit….let’s hope not. Tip to parents, if you’re in the process of looking at colleges for your kid, you may want to skip this one.




  1. chris says:

    Trashy girls deserve a seat at the table, or at least a place under it.

  2. Benjamin says:

    Who is the biggest “moran”: Snooki or the person that authorized $32,000 in speaking fees?

  3. powerlust says:

    April Fool.

  4. TooManyPuppies says:

    Fist pumping? They never showed her getting fist pumped on that show.

  5. Dallas says:

    #3 It figures Pedro urges young people to follow his drop out early philosophy and follow his career in mule rides .

  6. EricD says:

    Is it just me or is the headline thoroughly ambiguous?

    Read literally (which I did at first) it says she paid them. Assuming a dropped word like “was”, then they paid her.

  7. sargasso_c says:

    Ali G did Harvard (2004).

  8. What? says:

    Some people question the requirement to display some “class” in public, and then this happens.

  9. BigBoyBC says:

    I heard she wrote a book too. Which is funny, I didn’t know she could read, let alone write.

  10. Ranger007 says:

    $30,000 for man-hater Toni Morrison? Someone should (of course it would be racist, or at best, bigoted) to investigate her.

    Snooki who???

  11. deowll says:

    They sold tickets to the event with Snooki. They apparently sold out. Cost to the university? Maybe nothing. They may have even made money.

    How much do professional basketball and football players get to perform? More than I’m willing to pay to see them perform.

    The award winner is going to speak at a yah gotta show up so shut up and be there slave.

  12. Publius says:

    If Snooki was worth any less to society, she would be NFL player.

  13. Publius says:

    WTF is a “moran?”

  14. So what says:

    Well it is April first.

  15. Animby says:

    # 16 So what said, “Well it is April first.”

    Sad, really, when the real news seems like an April Fool prank. But a google news search shows that this is, apparently, for real.

    # 8 EricD said, “Is it just me or is the headline thoroughly ambiguous?”

    It’s just you.

  16. Someone Who's Actually Been to College says:

    This is only a story if you ignore the fact that colleges, like any organization, have different budget sources for different purposes. The student activity fund is usually used to pay for entertainment activities, like concerts and comedians and such. The money for the commencement speaker most likely comes from the graduation fees the students pay.

  17. Cristina in Tampa says:

    ..this shouldn’t have been filed under “humor”…more like “sad”! My comments would have probably been censored if I were paying tuition to that college! I don’t think “Snooki” has ever BEEN a college student!!!

  18. Benjamin says:

    #15 Check out #9 at this link: http://urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=moran&page=2

    For the link-following challenged, “The proper way to spell moron when you’re posting on Dvorak Uncensored blog.”

    It is so meta how the citations circle back.

  19. McCullough says:

    #17. “Sad, really, when the real news seems like an April Fool prank. But a google news search shows that this is, apparently, for real.”

    Yes, I was hoping this was a joke. It was disappointing that it was real.

  20. Cristina in Tampa says:

    YOU GUYS GOT ME!!!!

    ……that WAS an April Fool’s joke, right?

  21. Benjamin says:

    So they changed the headline after I posted my comment. McCullough originally used “moron” but changed it to “moran” since it is the proper way to spell moron on http://dvorak.org/blog.

    [Yes, good catch. Moran certainly works better, sometime we get tired of being questioned about the meme – ed. McCullough]

  22. Someone Who's Actually Been to College says:

    It appears that I’m just shooting facts out into the great void, but I’ll try once again.

    At many colleges (including the one I attended) the mandatory student activity fee is set and administered by the elected student body government, whereas graduation fees are set by the administration.

    I can only assume therefore, that everyone outraged by this story also thinks we need to ditch our outrageous and wasteful democracy and move to a more levelheaded dictatorship.

  23. Party hardy
    Whose the money behind this young girl ?
    George Soros’s money sure finds odd places
    Where can i meet women like this – who also come with cash and most likely fast cars

  24. Animby says:

    # 24 Someone Who’s Actually Been to College should learn to do some research before aggressively posting.

    Yes, you’re right, Snooki Wooki was paid from activity fees. The renowned Ms Morrison (renowned for her feminist and racist literary activities) from money contractually owed to the school by PepsiCo for their monopoly of vending machines on the campus. (Therein lies another sad, sad story!)

    The more important question, though, is why? Why is Ms Pollizzi even famous? I admit I have not seen her show nor read her book. A look at Amazon shows this is a hardcover book of over 300 pages. Based on two interviews I’ve seen, she could never maintain for over 300 pages so there mist have been a ghost writer. I also see on amazon she is not the only Jersey Shore member authoring tomes.

    More power to her and her friends for making money while the gold is available. I hope they have some good investment advice ’cause I suspect their 15 minutes has gone way over budget.

  25. deowll says:

    #15 a pile or ridge of earth and gravel left by a retreating glacier in this case most likely substituted for a less PC term.

  26. Publius says:

    Moran? Moron?

    Maroon is how Bugs Bunny spelt it.

    And we likt it.

  27. EricD says:

    #17
    So, what is it in the sentence that reveals whether she gave or received the money?

    I paid X for Y, means I gave the money.
    Bob was paid X for Y, means Bob got the money.
    Bob paid X for Y, should reasonably mean that Bob gave money?

    Right?

  28. Gary, the dangerous infidel says:

    The student association probably could have booked Snooki for free if they could have arranged for the Rutgers administration to award her an honorary doctorate.

    “Dr. Snooki” has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?

  29. pedro's confused donkey says:

    #6,

    I’m a donkey for crying out loud. Also known as an ass, but not to be confused with pedro’s ass. That ass is red, swollen, and oozing green stuff. And with pedro, all encompassing. I think he picked up his latest infection from some warped “Tea Dude”.

  30. Bob Evans says:

    Did you expect anything less from The Last Days of New Rome? Coming next: “President Trump said today….”.

    Dance, Monkey, DANCE!


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