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Ah, those pesky Christians
A new exercise class, Pole Fitness for Jesus, is inviting Christian women in a small Texas town to spin without sin for the Lord.
“God gives us these bodies, and they are supposed to be our temples and we are supposed to take care of them,” instructor Crystal Dean told ABC affiliate KTRK-TV. “And that’s what we are doing.”
For one Sunday each month, Dean teaches free classes to Christian women who bring in their church programs.
There are Christian tattoo parlors and even Christian sex manuals. On the scale of shocking modern activities for Christians, Thomas Tweed, a professor with the University of Texas, rates the pole dancing classes as “mildly surprising.”
The class has its share of critics. Dean said one man came to her pole dancing class in Old Town Spring, Texas waving a Bible while he thumped on the door.
“Reverend, the books say were gonna have an income crisis next year unless we get some new members!” “Relax, son, I have just the thing…”
This is misleading. I grew up in Spring, TX. “A small Texas town” isn’t right at all. It’s right on I-45 just a few miles out of Houston. Old Town Spring is a little shopping area deep in Houston suburbs. There were plenty of cows back in the early 90’s but they left when they plowed the trees and planted houses.
So you just tack the name Christian or Jesus, onto something. And that suddenly makes it Ok. Eh?
Many years ago, a friend of mine coined the sarcastic, pseudo-religious, pseudo-environmental, catch-all bumper sticker slogan. “Nuke the Baby Whales for Jesus”. Genius. And every now and then I find myself repeating it. In response to totally wacko news items like this one.
The Bible garter belt?
I won’t believe this is good Christian behavior until I see a sign from God, like maybe an image of the Virgin Mary formed by sweat smudges on one of those poles. Who could possibly argue with that?
“Christian sex manuals“? Bwahahaha. <cough> <cough>
Fuckin’ bunch of hypocrites.
The manual for the Canadian Anglo‘s and American Protestants consists of one word (“DONT!“) or three words after marriage (“DONT ENJOY IT!“).
The manual for Québecois consists of the complete back issues of “Playboy, the Playboy Advisor” and Penthouse. (Guilt is not a Catholic value.)
In Ireland the manual consists of a single phrase shouted out by a drunken Leprechaun from the foot of the bed: Brace yourself Bridget!
Sorry, I said Guilt is not a Catholic value, it is.
But there are only ex-Catholics left in Québec.
This is why I love Christians and the south. They make great strippers
If they truly followed their religion they would cover themselves like the Muslims and this type of slaggy behaviour would be out of the question. And God knows best!
They must have a big mirror on the wall. And behind that mirror, all the deacons get together once a month to jerk off to each other’s wife dancing.
They could have the class more often but good Christians only need sex once a month to be satisifed.
Eewww. The poles self lubricate. Eeewww
I gotta get me on eo fthem Christian sex manuals. I followed the link and they offered me this advice for forplay:
“Read lascivious passages from the Bible. (Book of Proverbs: “As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times.”
I almost got my pants sticky reading that!
I also hear they’ve invented something called “The Missionary Position.” Wow! I can throw away my Kama Sutra.
#11 Mr. Ed, just be careful which manual you read. Among cannibal tribes, “missionary position” means crouching low in a pot of boiling water.
KD, Didn’t you mean, “Those pesky Texans?”
# 14 Taxed Enough Already Dude said, “What a waste of time.”
Feel free to leave.
If you delete everything between Taxed Enough Already Dude and What a waste of time, he makes a really good point.
# 15 hhopper said, on March 23rd, 2011 at 9:31 am
KD, Didn’t you mean, “Those pesky Texans?”
Could be, ya know if it’s sex, guns, religion, cattle or oil, there’s always something going on here.
Pretty disgusting how Christian women mock our Lord and Savior with thus behavior. The last time I saw such fishy slime (no pun intended) was the destruction of God’s oceans with oil.
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i was walking to the store last night here in greenville texas, and some freaky jesus woman, came up to me, in the middle of the inter section, between what a burger, and some quicky mart, or the inter section between some quicky mart, and what a burger, here in greenville texas, in some dark colored mini van, and she basically ran out in to the inter section, asking me if i could follow her please, and could she please pray to the holy jesus almighty, or some crazy crap like that to me, or what ever the fukk she was trying to do, or what ever! jesus fukking christ you fukking freaky jesus christ woman from last night here in greenville texas, that was in that dark colored mini van! really?! REALLY?! she drove at a view, that i could not get her fukking car’s number, you fukking jesus freak woman! jesus fukking christ! why don’t you go get back in to your dark colored mini van, you fukking jesus freak woman from last night, and go fukking pray to the fukking holy jesus christ your own self, you fukking jesus freak bitch! how come you didn’t want me to get your car’s number, you freaky jesus bitch?! go follow your own self, you fukking freaky jesus bitch! by the way sweet heart from last night: universally speaking, i am a follower of the god power, and i don’t need your help, in leading me to the god power, because universally speaking, i am one of the god power’s many pets! yes, i am one of many of the god power’s pets, universally speaking, any ways, and i don’t need your help, you jesus freak woman, in leading me to the god power sweet heart!