A new iPhone App with the misleading name ‘PatriotApp’ attempts to draw on the power of the patriot movement, turning smartphone users into a gigantic snitch network.

You might think an app with such a patriotic name might have useful functions like a pocket constitution or quotes from our forefathers. But contrary to the services one might expect, this app allows users to report any ‘suspicious’ behavior directly linking them with top government agencies.

Much like the new DHS program ‘If you see something, say something’ this app is meant to turn average citizens into a network of spies feeding information back to the federal government.

Citizen Concepts, a company formed by insiders from DHS, defines the use of such an app on their homepage:

The goals of Citizen Concepts are to:

* Provide instruction and increase consistency in actions while decreasing variance in human behavior to mitigate risk and error
* Increase the quality, procedure compliance, and efficacy of outcomes
* Provide closed network, high-value content information for collection and action purposes
* To serve civil, government and commercial communities entities
* Provide mechanisms whereby events, processes, and performance can be reviewed retrospectively

Citizen Concepts delivers a superior product.

We leverage your existing Blackberry, Android or iPhone platform and drive compliance directly to your staff’s mobile device. No manuals to find, nor forms to locate, no wasted time.

Oh goody!




  1. What? says:

    When did we become East Germany?

  2. Red says:

    9/11/2001

  3. What? says:

    But no federal holiday?

  4. dg says:

    Welcome to the United States of Soviet.

  5. Improbus says:

    We subversive types can submit erroneous information into the network to gum up the works and get back at our douche bag conservative enemies. Excellent, sign me up!

  6. Still_Walking_Point says:

    Screw gated communities. I need a community free of this app.

  7. Mac Guy says:

    Okay, I’ll bite. How the hell does one declare a “pandemic?” I thought that was the WHO’s job.

    Not to be confused with a WHOSE job.

    [Or even a HOSE job – ed.]

  8. The Pirate says:

    #1 – What?
    East Germany?
    How about Nazi Germany.

    This road the U.S is on won’t end pretty.

  9. foobar says:

    “Bite my shiny metal ass.”

    Bender the Robot

  10. Publius says:

    The CopWatch app and PoliticianWatch app will be excellent counter-apps.

  11. Publius says:

    Seems that politicians and cops commit suspicious activity on a regular basis.

    There is the opportunity: Spare the rod, spoil the government.

  12. Still_Walking_Point says:

    #10;
    Only if either knew shame.

  13. TooManyPuppies says:

    The New American Stasi is alive and well.

  14. scadragon says:

    I call Bulls**t !

  15. Mextli says:

    #5 “…. get back at our douche bag conservative enemies.”

    Since Janet Napolitano was appointed by Barack Obama you really had to stretch to get conservative into the conversation didn’t you or did Bush start this program too?

  16. Ah_Yea says:

    I thought the Government Waste icon was a laugh. Specially since this administration started.

  17. Counterweight says:

    * Increase the quality, procedure compliance, and efficacy of outcomes

    You can tell these people spend a lot of time writing gov proposals/contracts.

  18. Improbus says:

    @Mextli

    It just seems to me that conservatives love government authority. Your type loves law enforcement, the corporate welfare/defense state and harsh authoritarian laws. He who live by the sword … yada yada yada.

  19. President Amabo says:

    Just report everyone who drives a smart car or uses mass transit.

  20. lavs23 says:

    I didn’t see a Android version in the market. Not to report suspicious behavior but to flood the thing with government waste complaints. I’m sure DHS will have full access to my phone after I install, but then again they probably do already.

  21. noname says:

    Wasn’t this kind of stuff “LEAD UP” to Germany in the 30’s!!

    This is obviously a Republican app!

    The conservatives/republicans are working hard to bring us back to bowing at the alter of G.W. Bush.

    All we need is for G.W. Bush to be appointed Chancellor of America so that the Fourth Reich can continue indiscriminate killing of millions of IRAQ’s, IRAN’s, Afghanistan’s people and others (liberals) in the Middle East Final Solution.

    From the lips of this fool and his kind:

    You don’t get everything you want. A dictatorship would be a lot easier.Governing Magazine, July, 1998

    If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier; just so long as I’m the dictator.Washington D.C. December 18, 2000

    A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there’s no question about it.Business Week, July 30, 2001

    Let the FLAMING BEGIN!!!

    TACO BREATH YOU OUT THERE???

  22. M0les says:

    They should have crammed another row of buttons for “Public obnoxiousness” “feral redneck” and “proximate hallitosis” too!

  23. What? says:

    From wikipedia:

    “Between 1950 and 1989, the Stasi employed a total of 274,000 persons in an effort to root out the class enemy.[5][6] In 1989, the Stasi employed 91,015 persons full time, including 2,000 fully employed unofficial collaborators, 13,073 soldiers and 2,232 officers of GDR army,[7] along with 173,081 unofficial informants inside GDR[8] and 1,553 informants in West Germany.[9] In terms of the identity of inoffizielle Mitarbeiter (IMs) Stasi informants, by 1995, 174,000 had been identified, which approximated 2.5% of East Germany’s population between the ages of 18 and 60.[5] 10,000 IMs were under 18 years of age.[5]”

  24. Faxon says:

    That “Environmental Safety” icon is wide open.
    This would include not sorting your garbage, tossing batteries in the garbage, barbequeing on a spare the air day, and so many other infractions. Watch for such things to be classed as misdemeanors soon.

    This country is toast. However, I don’t think I can see any other country being any kind of light of freedom. New Hampshire may be the last hope, if the Free State Movement succeeds there.

    And, I like the concept of Nullification. Problem is, how would a legal theory fare against a jack-booted Homeland Security Police Force???

    I deal with cops regularly in my work, and I can assure you, the Federal cops are the biggest assholes going. They make CHP guys look like Barney Fife.

    Time to utilize the 2nd Amendment.

  25. Special Ed says:

    I want an app to report my neighbor for being a religious douchebag.

  26. Nobody says:

    #25 – there is a drop down of acceptable religions to report

  27. John E. Quantum says:

    Skidmark app coming soon!!!!!!

  28. Skeptic says:

    Now we can all play WikiLeaks!

  29. MattG says:

    Everyone needs to download this app and start spamming the network by logging random events. The best way to get rid of this is to make the data useless.

  30. deowll says:

    I’ve actually been using something similar to this in some of the SF I’ve been writing for at least a few years now but I’ve billed it more as a complaint line than as a whistle blower thing and of course they should be able to upload pictures, audio, and video they have taken on their smart phones if you want to actually get it right.

    In my view any time a citizen sees something they think isn’t right they should be able to upload what they have have and bleep about it.

    Of course you do need a sentient computer system on the other end to sort out the BS from the stuff the government is obligated to act on and my fictional government has some tendency toward the fewer laws it has to enforce the better.

    Of course criminals do labor contracts with the money raised being used to compensate victims at no cost to the government rather than being warehoused at public expense so, maybe not everyone’s cut of tea.


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