It was just a matter of time before this contraption killed someone. It almost killed President Bush some years back.

The multi-millionaire businessman, 62, fell into the River Wharfe while inspecting the grounds of his North Yorkshire estate on a rugged country version of the Segway.

The Segway is a motorised scooter which use gyroscopes to remain upright and is controlled by the direction in which the rider leans. A passer-by found Heselden alongside his Segway in the Boston Spa area at about 11.40am on Sunday.

A spokesman for West Yorkshire Police said today: “Police were called at 11.40am yesterday to reports of a man in the River Wharfe, apparently having fallen from the cliffs above. “A Segway-style vehicle was recovered. He was pronounced dead at the scene.




  1. soundwash says:

    /conspiracy 101

    The multi-millionaire businessman, 62, fell into the River Wharfe while inspecting the grounds of his North Yorkshire estate

    yes, of course..he had no clue there was a cliff and river on his estate.

    He created a unique portable wire cage water containment system which when filled with earth and sand proved a major defense against bullets, missiles and suicide attacks.

    -and he’s a defense contractor who designed a novel and low (zero?) maintenance (ie: very cheap) defense against bullets and missiles?

    Providing cheap and effective solutions to the military (esp one that requires no “service and maintenance” contracts) is a very good way to get yourself killed -by the competition. (and the guys in accounting in charge of “skimming”)

    -esp when they have an “unlimited supply” of tax money to go over budget, er, i mean spend with.

    i say check to see if he has a new (and cheap) design to sell. -then see what the competition is offering. -and then check to see who recently threw a party that was decorated with “National Security Umbrellas” ;p

    this is almost as good as the ambassador who was killed last week here in the bronx. -found with multiple stab wounds and his throat cut so deep as to have been nearly decapitated. -and they are entertaining ruling it a suicide because of hesitation marks. /facepalm

    they must think just because they have their “dumb ray” set on 11, that they can make up any old story and no one will be the wiser..

    someone needs their head checked, -and it ain’t me..

    -s

  2. GregAllen says:

    The Segway is a fine invention that got hurt by its own hype. Now this.

    I’ve never seen a good reason to own one but I’ve been a little intrigued by people who hack their own versions of these. Like this guy:
    http://tlb.org/scooter.html

  3. MikeN says:

    #29, just think of the children. Clearly you don’t care about people’s lives. Some people aren’t willing to put a price tag on children’s lives.

  4. faxon says:

    Segways for all Democrats!

  5. lens42 says:

    Seems like preventing the thing from driving over a cliff (or a step, or other significant change in surface height) could be designed in with some sort of sensor.

  6. nobodyspecial says:

    @# 36 lens42 said,
    Detecting you have driven off a cliff is relatively easy – detecting it before you drive off the cliff is a little more challenging.

  7. bobbo, to the left and right of Obama says:

    #32–soundwash==please don’t take offense but I’m going to stop reading your posts for a few weeks. You make too much sense, it scares me.

    Nice construction.

  8. jonnierottn says:

    /soapbox

    #20 – While your example is covered by the dictionary definition of irony, I would consider that irony in its lowest form–i.e., sarcasm. The more literary instances of irony involve situations in which the outcome is the OPPOSITE of what one would EXPECT, such as the OWNER of Segway being KILLED while using a Segway.

    Furthermore, it would only be poetic justice if Segway or its owner were culpable of some misdoing involving similar deaths before the irony occurred. For example, if they had been involved in a cover-up of Segway-related injuries/fatalities, that would be poetic justice, i.e., an ironic twist wherein the guilty met the same fate.

    Coincidence (no hyphen) is the simultaneous occurrence of events without regard to any causal relationship or perhaps in refutation of one (colloquial). It might be a coincidence that he was the owner of Segway, having died using one, but even having to state that hints at its irony.

    /endsoapbox

  9. bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas. says:

    jonnie–I take opposition to your disagreement. In fact, as the owner of the company that makes the segway, as opposed to the ownership of a single unit, the circumstances comprise a standard example of “historic irony” such as Frankenstein’s Monster where the creator is killed by his creation.

    I post only to caution that this example of irony has nothing to do with sarcasm. As you mounted the soapbox with confidence, I wonder where this notion comes from? Irony “may be” sarcastic, and sarcasm “may be” ironic but both notions can be “free” of the other as is this one.

    A double FAIL as your intent was to correct.

  10. BuzzMega says:

    John, your car—or others roughly identical to it—have killed about 200,000 Americans since the day the Segway was introduced.

  11. It only hurts when I sit says:

    13 and 23 man in china say come get your bullets it run up my ass.

  12. danny says:

    “Nope! Sorry. This death is just too weird for reality. ”
    >
    > good post sir. I believe it was suicide. I know the police report now
    > says it was an accident, a freak accident, he was allegedly reportedly
    > backing up to make way for a person walking on the same path, but i
    > believe his family, a rich family, is saying this to. 1 protect the
    > family name and image and 2. get more insurance money for accidental
    > death…… $$$ is the key here. any smart gumshoe looking at that
    > cliff he fell will see that it was not possible for fall off by
    > accident, that was deliberate plunge, IMHO. watch the news, it will
    > come out a year from now…..SIGH….but yes, sad story, and
    > condolences to his family first.
    >
    > danny in taiwan, watching from afar and reading between the lines of
    > the news…….sigh


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