Army called in to guard torpedos that missed target

A grim report circulating in the Kremlin today written by Russia’s Northern Fleet is reporting that the United States has ordered a complete media blackout over North Korea’s torpedoing of the giant Deepwater Horizon oil platform owned by the World’s largest offshore drilling contractor Transocean that was built and financed by South Korea’s Hyundai Heavy Industries Co. Ltd., that has caused great loss of life, untold billions in economic damage to the South Korean economy, and an environmental catastrophe to the United States…

On the night of April 20th the North Korean Mini Submarine manned by…“suicidal” 17th Sniper Corps soldiers attacked the Deepwater Horizon with what are believed to be 2 incendiary torpedoes causing a massive explosion and resulting in 11 workers on this giant oil rig being killed outright. Barely 48 hours later, on April 22nd , this North Korean Mini Submarine committed its final atrocity by exploding itself directly beneath the Deepwater Horizon causing this $1 Billion oil rig to sink beneath the seas and marking 2010’s celebration of Earth Day with one of the largest environmental catastrophes our World has ever seen.

To the reason for North Korea attacking the Deepwater Horizon, these reports say, was to present US President Obama with an “impossible dilemma” prior to the opening of the United Nations Review Conference of the Parties to the Treat on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons (NPT) set to begin May 3rd in New York.

This “impossible dilemma” facing Obama is indeed real as the decision he is faced with is either to allow the continuation of this massive oil leak catastrophe to continue for months, or immediately stop it by the only known and proven means possible, the detonation of a thermonuclear device.

Every nutball west of Bill-O has joined in on this one. Here’s your chance!




  1. bobbo, we think with words says:

    North Korea–far away, subject to change.
    Obama–best president this century, anything bad he does can be undone.

    Right Wing Nutballs–will be with us for a long time doing damage every chance they get. Only mandatory competency testing to get a High School Degree can fix this. The nutballs won’t allow such progress.

    That would be No 3.

  2. clancys_daddy says:

    Yep and 9/11 was an inside job. Let the silliness commence.

  3. Rufus says:

    @ #2:

    9/11 certainly was an inside job, and last I checked treason is far from “silly”:

    http://911truth.tk

  4. bobbo, we think with words says:

    Rufus–back to school for you.

  5. roastedpeanuts says:

    A lot of sites reference this “Kremlin report” but no site actually has it.

    This makes sense and I’d believe it but where is the back up?! Has anyone found any backup information for this?

    Please post.

  6. Improbus says:

    The Powers That Be are still trying to sell more fear. I don’t think that they get that the American people are more angry than afraid. A fact that may come to bite them on the ass shortly. I hope the revolution is televised as it should be very entertaining.

  7. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    Rufus, thanks, that was good for a 15 second laugh, it’s all I could take.

  8. bobbo, we think with words says:

    Been awhile since touching on 9/11 truthiness, even thought it was getting passe what with Obama’s birth certificate and what not.

    Hey RUFUS==the third section on your link says a controlled demolition is evidenced by the physical laws of bodies in freefall.

    How come there are no calculations???

    9/11 vs Birthers. Its a toss up, stomach wise.

  9. bobbo, we think with words says:

    Speaking of nutballs, I thought about nuking the oil well site, but not being that studied in physics, as my failure to grasp the truth of 9/11 demonstrates, I have no idea if a bomb would work or just release even more oil.

    Certainly, if it would work, we should do it==and invite all the BP executives to the site for a close look.

    Tangential–saw the show on the recovery of Mnt St Helens==life returns much more quickly than ever thought. Meanwhile, the Exxon Valdez Oil Spill IS STILL KILLING WILDLIFE–negative effects lasting longer than ever thought.

    Now, even if the Gulf could somewhat recover after only 3-5 years of being out of action, the economics of the area will be destroyed.

    Those BP executives just aren’t good libertarians. I’d think they better than anyone else would understand the value of using backup safety features? But then its that very argument they used with BushCo to have zero backup safety features.

    But who needs backup when you’ve got economic damages capped and a court system willing to decimate any civil award regardless.

    Its good to be Big Oil.

  10. Rufus says:

    @Bobbo

    The facts are on our side, whereas immature ad hominem attacks are all you’ve got.

  11. Dallas says:

    Put me down for choosing right wing nuttballs as the most dangerous.

    At least N Korea is on the other side of the earth and our government is hardly a dictatorship.

  12. boolezz says:

    None of us where actually there so we’ll never know for sure. Unless there is a credible leak that gives proof of this we’ll have to accept the official story. It looks as if the nuclear option is not the only proven method because they are trying to put a steel condom over the leak. Who knows if it’s a permanent solution but it might work for now.

  13. B. Dog says:

    Rufus, I’m with you on the 9/11 fiasco.

    JCD might want to get that N. Korean guy drunked up and get him to say something on the oil attack,

  14. bobbo, we think with words says:

    Rufus—you can’t be a clown and demand respect.

  15. yevgyeni says:

    There is no proof that detonating a nuke is ‘the only known and proven means possible’ to stop a deep water oil leak. That has never been done, no one knows anything about it, and it’s never been proven. That statement is just ridiculous and should never be taken at face value.

  16. Ah_Yea says:

    I’ve said it before and I will say it again.

    If we want to solve the North Korean problem, and the Iran problem to boot, the present administration needs to get some balls and take on the real problem.

    China. China is the main source of state sponsored terrorism. Without China’s support North Korea would stop in it’s tracks and Iran would have real sanctions which would kill it’s nuclear program and stop Hezbollah and Hamas cold.

    How do we make China change? 40% tariff on everything they import until they straighten up would be a good place to start. A little bonus would be jobs returning to the US as well.

    But of course that would require balls and courage, which is in short supply.

  17. boolez says:

    Both China and Russia are problems in this area but but our economies have become so intertwined no one will hold them to account. Tariff’s will only help further cripple our economy.

  18. bobbo, we think with words says:

    Ah Yea–always good to brain storm but a 40% tariff? Sounds like open (economic) warfare to me. You know about war? A last resort.

    What would China do in retaliation? Stop buying our debt, flood the world with their reserve of our worthless dollars? Cost of Oil thru the roof.

    Ain’t history a bitch?

  19. tcc3 says:

    Rufus, he asked for facts. A request for calculations to back up a ridiculous theory is not ad hominem.

  20. ECA says:

    Who wrote this piece of FUD??

    It doesnt read correctly at ALL..

    NK, bvuilt it, then KILLED IT?? by some NUTS that had to get around the Horn and BACK up to the Gulf of mexico..
    NK has subs?? And what pedal power are they using??
    Launched by another ship?? You let a Fishing Crawler from NK into the GULF??

  21. Maricopa says:

    All the other nonsense aside, why were snipers manning a submarine?

  22. Ah_Yea says:

    Boolez #17

    “Tariff’s will only help further cripple our economy.”

    While that may hold true for some countries, it doesn’t apply to China.

    China is a currency manipulator, and everyone with any economic sense knows this. Currently China has pegged the Yuan to the Dollar at 1 Dollar to 6.8 Yuan. This artificially devalues the Yuan upwards of 40%. In other words, the true value of the Yuan is closer to a 4 to 1 ratio instead of a 6.8 to 1 ratio.

    This means that when we go to WalMart and buy cheap Chinese stuff, it’s because the Chinese government is coverning the other 40%.

    This normally would be called “dumping” when it is only one or two products. China is “dumping” EVERYTHING they sell.

    Tariffs are used all the time to “level the playing field” when it comes to dumping.

    All we would be doing when we tariff China’s stuff would be raising their products to a fair market value.

    Remember, our trade deficit with China is in 2009 was ~227 BILLION Dollars! That’S BILLIONS!!!

    We simply cannot afford to keep this up. Our country has become a cheap goods drug addict willing to sacrifice our own lives for a quick fix.

  23. WmDE says:

    Because sometimes you DO need the WWW.

    http://preview.tinyurl.com/23pu794

  24. Ah_Yea says:

    Whoever was piloting that minisub has my admiration.

    I could never be closed up in a tiny metal tube and dumped underwater.

  25. bobbo, a DIY enthusiast says:

    Well, the alternative was the Russian Front.

  26. Nobody says:

    >our trade deficit with China is in 2009 was ~227 BILLION

    No it isn’t, it’s optimal accountancy (ie Tax evasion)
    The US trade deficit with US companies is >$$$Bn, it’s deficit with China is much smaller.

    Simple example, an iPhone is made in China and costs $250 to make – so there is a trade deficit of Number_iPhones * $250 OMG!!!

    But of that $250, $100 is chips made outside china and imported to china by US companies, $100 is licenses to US companies for software and design, $40 is marketing/shipping/handling.
    About $10 of the build cost goes to china for assembly.

    It’s exactly the same arguments being made against Japan in the 80 and Britain in the 1880s.

  27. Gazbo says:

    I keep forgetting that the more absurd these tales are the easier it is for the true believers to accept them. Silly me; I would have tried to pin this on Venezuela.
    Bobbo – the libertarians might have a case if we apportioned liability correctly, but whether it’s nuclear power, financial derivatives, GMOs, or big oil, the FIRST thing the heavy hitters do is rig that game.
    Using nukes to seal oil leaks, by the way, isn’t quite a “proven” technology, or even a developed theory, it seems more like a trope from a b movie (“nuke em!”).
    I suspect this will be a little more difficult.

  28. roddy6667 says:

    That photo is from WWII. You can tell from the uniforms and helmets.

  29. brm says:

    uuhh… Goldman Sachs.

    do i win?


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