http://skepacabra.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/thank-god-im-an-atheist.jpg

On 9/11 Jerry Falwell declared that god was punishing us for abortionists, gays and feminists. Muslim clerics have declared that recent earthquakes is God punishing us for women dressing immodestly. Pat Robertson said that the Haiti earthquake was God punishing the Haitians for making a “pact with the Devil.” So I just can’t wait to hear what God is punishing us for now!

As an Atheist I feel like I should be able to have an opinion as to what God is punishing us for that is based on our cultural perspective and belief system. So, speaking on behalf of the Atheist community, the oil spill in the Gulf is because God is punishing us for not having a working shutoff valve at the oil well head. That’s our opinion, and we’re sticking with it.




  1. o_O says:

    Wow. The squirrel man is nuttier than squirrel shit.

  2. Me says:

    Why do potheads think the lamest thing is funny?

  3. Skippy says:

    As a fellow atheist, I’d like to be introduced to the girl in the t-shirt.

  4. IAm?IAm says:

    And the atheist t-shirt girl has red hair which could only mean trouble.

  5. Mattyv says:

    For a second I thought you where going to announce the god of the religion of atheism, ►Energy.. but you didn’t.. boo!!!

    Come on, at least do your home work.. The god of this world according to the bible is satan..

    here is some advice, stick to tech news, something you guys at least know a little about. your losing credibility here..

  6. Marc, you look funny in that photo. Apart from being an atheist, you are also a tranny?

    Keep your beliefs or lack thereof to yourself.

  7. And tell others (Falwell, clerics) to do the same.

    “Love is the fart Of every heart: It pains a man when ’tis kept close, And others doth offend, when ’tis let loose. ”
    — Sir John Suckling

  8. Marc Perkel says:

    God told me to write that.

  9. # 8 Marc Perkel said,

    God told me to write that.

    You are an atheist remember.

  10. Marc Perkel says:

    Yep – Thank God I’m an Atheist

  11. Believers follow Matthew 6:5-6

    And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
    But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

    Atheists, stop being obnoxious.

  12. Gilgamesh says:

    Comacho, It’s not clear to me that keeping the believers closeted is a good thing. They’ll just be scheming to sneak it up your ass, denied the chance to blow it in your face. It is, however, clear to me that the atheists should, indeed, stop being obnoxious. Obnoxiousness is like their religion, which is just a completely incoherent position to take.

  13. Ah_Yea says:

    I thought the oil spill was God’s punishment to all Atheist environmentalists who are forcing us to burn fossil fuels because they won’t let us go nuclear.

    Get the exalted joke? Oil spill = environmental disaster, which may never have happened if the environmentalists allowed clean power!!

  14. sargasso says:

    In Soviet Russia, you punish God.

  15. Angry says:

    I have no problem with gay atheist pothead editors.

  16. Cursor_ says:

    I always find it fascinating that the supposedly pious religious figures lambaste atheists and the supposedly ultra-intelligent atheists do much the same.

    But then atheists evangelise just as often as the religious nutjobs.

    Funny when monkeys fight.

    Cursor_

  17. zybch says:

    #13 any ‘joke’ immediately loses any funniness it had if you have to (or think you have to) explain it.

    #15, but I’m not an editor.

    #16 But at least we evangelize worthwhile stuff instead of a blanket “do whatever you want coz the giant invisible beard in the sky will clean it up later”.

  18. brian t says:

    Ok, God’s angry. Now, all we need to do is agree on what God is, what it wants, and what it’s going to do next. Negotiations have been underway for about 3,500 years, with no agreement in sight.

  19. # 12 Gilgamesh said,
    Comacho, It’s not clear to me that keeping the believers closeted is a good thing. They’ll just be scheming to sneak it up your ass, denied the chance to blow it in your face.

    Religion and God is a safety net for a majority of the people. Why deny them that? That is what I had argued in the article linked to my name in earlier comments.

    For people who sneak stuff front or back, I have written another article on the origins of Christianity. Link is under my name in this comment.

  20. The vast majority of believers mind their own business but most atheists are not very tolerant and jump at the first opportunity to harass believers.

  21. zybch says:

    #20 What bullshit.

  22. bac says:

    What do you do when a god is punishing you? Get another god on your side.

  23. Alf says:

    The “god” you can think about is not God. The thoughts you have a just a reflection of who you are.

    It is not that they are bad or good…just thoughts.

  24. clancys_daddy says:

    “The vast majority of believers mind their own business but most atheists are not very tolerant and jump at the first opportunity to harass believers.” okie dokie if you religious folks don’t bother me I won’t bother you. You stop coming to my door asking me to come to your church. I will stop answering it naked with a shotgun and a beer.

  25. Asian Guy says:

    Jesus Chlist!

  26. Personality says:

    The invisible magical super-being of all that exists is grumpy again? For christs sake. Can’t he just snap his fingers and be happy for once? I mean, it is a magical being.

  27. duh! says:

    Can we also have an article talking about all the dictators (who are atheist) killing millions in the name of their own will…. *cough* hitler *cough*

  28. amodedoma says:

    God told me he’s sick and tired for getting blamed for everything some underdeveloped life-form is frustrated about. He said he’s been on vacation since 1 nanosecond after the big bang, and while he loves us all and wishes us well, it’s not his job to help or hinder anything or anybody.
    Something tells me we’re just going to have to work out our problems without his influence or interference.

  29. Floyd says:

    Hitler was Catholic.

  30. Marc Perkel says:

    I have no problem with gay atheist pothead editors

    I am not gay.


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