http://www.anatreptic.com/images/ObamaSpock01.jpg

So Mr. Hawking, you say it’s “too risky” to contact beings from other planets? You must be thinking about moving to Arizona because of your anti-alien rhetoric. We don’t like being called “Space Aliens”. We see ourselves as “Citizens of the Universe”.

We need to stop listening to racist pigs like Stephen Hawking. If we are going to get along in the universe we have to stop judging people be the color of their skin or what planet they were born on. For years people from other planets have become productive citizens of Earth. While it is true that we have taken jobs in the computer design and software development industry, we only design the chips and write the software that no one else wants to do, working for free in to Open Source world.

I know many of you are afraid that we are just here to breed your women and use our mind control powers to make you vote for people who no one had ever heard of like Barrack Obama and Sarah Palin. But we just want to be treated like people no matter if our skin color is white, brown, black, yellow, invisible, or green. We should not be forced to carry identifier chips to be scanned by police robots to prove that we are legally allowed to be here on this planet.




  1. Sigma says:

    “breading”

    So they will be deep-frying our women?

    No f***ing way in hell

  2. Cap'nKangaroo says:

    You come here to kill us, but you will end up opening a T-shirt shirt shop on Venice Beach.

  3. Phydeau says:

    Breaded chicken is very tasty.

  4. ozman049 says:

    When you get here and find all the freebees
    you can get as a illeagal alien you will park
    your interglatic ships and become welfare
    recepiants

  5. Marc Perkel says:

    I updated the post.

  6. TooManyPuppies says:

    If you’re not born on Earth, then you’re an alien. Deal with it little green man.

  7. BubbaRay says:

    That’s just brilliant, Perkel. Calling one of the greatest minds in the history of the planet a “racist pig.”

    Don’t you remember an episode of “The Twilight Zone” titled “To Serve Man”?

    They’re coming after you next.

  8. Daniel Kaiser says:

    Right here, right now, the anal probes have to stop.

  9. JimD says:

    Actually, the “Perils” to Humans are actually the DEPREDATIONS HUMANS WILL INFLICT ON ETs !!! See “Avatar” !!!

    And our “Global Warming Crisis” could be under scrutiny by “Advanced ETs” to see how the “Intelligent Humans” handle the FOULING OF THEIR OWN NEST !!! Not really very intelligent, apparently !!!

  10. deowll says:

    Hawking was noting the obvious.

    When a technologically advanced culture makes contact with a technologically primitive culture bad things invariably happen to the technologically primitive culture when the technologically advanced culture does whatever seems right/advantageous to it and the other side can’t prevent them from doing it.

  11. The_Tick says:

    “white, brown, black, yellow, invisible, or green”………….. Well O.K. But them Grey F*ckers is ridin on tha back ah the bus.

  12. Glenn E. says:

    If Hawking doesn’t keep his big noisy voice synthesizer quite, about such scifi matters. He’s going to queer my chances of getting a novel written and published, about such things. He doesn’t care whose prospects he screws up, he’s got his fame. He should be satisfied with what he has now, and not invading other people’s domains of expertise. Who does he think he is, the Pope of Astro-physics?

    I’m thinking he’s just a tool of the aerospace corporations. They get their return trip to the moon project, canceled by Obama. And right away, he sounds off about baddies in space. Of course, it just happens to be Appropriations time, for Congress to consider funding such follies. So naturally, Hawking and N.Tyson are keepin it alive. Good show, tools.

  13. sir spock obamma says:

    Come on now. Wouldn’t any species smarter then
    us have some kind of “Prime Directive”?

    Xenophobe swines!

  14. GregA says:

    #14,

    Ask yourself this… Why do humans want to go into space? What is driving the nerd desire for space travel? Limitless resources and the outside possibility of sex with an alien tentacled woman. (See trojan war)

    All we have to do is look at our desires for space travel and realize the universe is basically homogeneous and we have enough problems getting along with ourselves, now add in an alien species to the mix.

    I am sure Columbus’s intentions towards the natives were pure for a time as well…

  15. LotsaLuck says:

    I, for one, welcome our new white, brown, black, yellow, invisible, or green overlords.

  16. boinc says:

    Hawking is an f’ing idiot.
    Take him out of his narrow little
    savant talent and he’s a blithering
    fool. You can’t hide a class “M”
    planet. The aliens don’t need our
    shit either. They probably have been saving our bacon for years unbeknowst to us…

  17. Hmeyers says:

    Evolution = survival of the fittest

    Aliens would exterminate us and take our planet.

    Do you really think if Mars was a great habitable planet but happened to already have native chimps that we wouldn’t colonize it?

    Guess what? Aliens capable of interstellar travel would view us as “chimps”.

    Remember the “Rare Earth Hypothesis” … essentially that ideal life-supporting planets are rare …

    Aliens would take our planet in a heartbeat.

    You think aliens wouldn’t have “corporations”?

    You think they wouldn’t use a spreadsheet and determine stealing our planet from “primitives” is a lot cheaper and faster than terraforming?

    It might be nice thinking aliens would have a “Prime Directive” but even aliens honoring such an ideal would have rogue elements that did not.

    Like how killing and theft are illegal and yet they still happen all the time.

    Under no reasonable mathematical formula would Earth be safe from alien invasion:

    1. If life-friendly Earth-style planets are common in the galaxy, tons of aliens cultures and sub-cultures exist including those less respecting towards life not like themselves. In that case if the aliens find us, we are fucked.

    2. If life-friendly Earth-style planets are rare in the galaxy, the aliens urge to colonize will mean we are fucked. Their view will be “Yeah we can cry about what we did later to make us feel good” as they — in one shape of form — steal the planet by eradicating or enslaving us.

    The only circumstance that we’d do well is if a mature and law-bound galactic community existed with enough resources to protect little immature sentient life via force of galactic law.

    And this just doesn’t seem reasonable considering Europeans were more than happy enough giving Indians blankets with chickenpox to take their land.

    It isn’t human nature to dominate less advanced civilizations, it is just pure nature.

    Nature values winning above all else and the victor gets to write the story.

  18. Sea Lawyer says:

    Wait, Obama is an alien?

  19. Cursor_ says:

    All of this is just BS.

    just dumb hominids again letting their egos get the better of them with thoughts we are such a GREAT planet that every “aliem” wants to find us and kill us all.

    Back to the imbecilic notion Earth is the center of all creation.

    Give a monkey a brain.

    Cursor_

  20. Hmeyers says:

    @20

    “Give a monkey a brain.”

    Someday we will. I will call him “Cursor” in your honor 😉

  21. Benjamin says:

    Anna will take away the Blue Energy she gives us to control us. The Visitors do not have our best interests at heart.

  22. Haven’t read the replies yet. One serious thing to consider before contacting any extraterrestrial sentiences is what has happened on this planet every time a more technically advanced civilization has come in contact with a less technically advanced civilization.

    Before dialing 1-900-here-we-r, perhaps we should consider whether we want to be the less technically advanced civilization.

    We could get lucky and meet a very benign alien race who forks over all of their technology out of the goodness of their heart. Or we could find out that they know 101 ways to serve man.

    Personally, I think the lack of evidence of any other species with our particular brand of intelligence, but more developed, probably means that it is more rare than we think. This may be good. Perhaps we will not meat [sic] up with such folks until we’re ready to meet them on their turf rather having them meat us on ours.

    And, of course, then there’s this view on why we may not have met any yet.

    http://tinyurl.com/n2g9mz

  23. #18 Hmeyers,

    While I do agree with most of your post and in fact echoed many of the sentiments in it, I would say that we don’t really know that survival of the fittest necessarily leads to xenophobic, genocidal, assholes like ourselves. It’s merely the most likely hypothesis.

    It is also a somewhat slim possibility that a species that got to our level of intelligence and beyond has learned how to stay in balance with nature rather than killing everything in sight the way we do. Of course, if they got to that point, why are they coming here? Vacation? OK, but let’s hope they’re really really good at not spreading alien uber-viruses.

  24. Skeptic of the AOBCCS says:

    How you can identify an alien from another planet:

    1) Upon arrival to earth, the alien would have to assume a believable identity. In naming itself, for instance, it would choose a common name like James or Stephen. A temptation to hint at it’s origin would be there however, so a surname hinting at travel or flight would be probable… something containing a bird’s name perhaps.

    2) The alien wouldn’t be used to our gravity and would become obviously out of place. It would either be overly muscular, or very weak causing some sort of dystrophy of their muscles. A mechanical or motorized apparatus would be needed for mobility.

    3) The alien would not have the same development of speech communication and would need some sort of speech synthesizer to compensate.

    4) In having the capability of light speed or faster travel, the alien would possess unusual intelligence, but the communication of such intelligence would be inhibited by the above impediments.

    5) The alien would not want to reveal itself as alien, and would try and hide it’s differences… possibly simulating a common earthly disease.

    6) The alien would initially want to share it’s knowledge with it’s fledgling earthly species. incredible revelations about the universe would initially be revealed, probably having to do with incredible forces and extreme concentrations of matter that might be related to space travel.

    7) However, after spending some time on earth, the alien would soon realize how destructive and selfish our species is, and it would start using its intellectual influence to seed erroneous in science into our knowledge base in order to impede our progress. The ideas presented would seem outlandish, but since previous revelations proved to be correct, they would be seriously considered.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    If ANY of you have seen or heard of such a being, contact your government IMMEDIATELY!

  25. If you are going to breed our women, just go after the ugly ones. Chances are you wouldn’t know the difference anyways due to you being an alien and all, so just ask me and I will let you know who’s ugly and who’s not. Thank you.

  26. blackholefun says:

    #24 Don’t forget, convince us that black holes automatically evaporate so it’s safe to build the LHC.

  27. KD Martin says:

    Misanthropic Scott said, on April 27th, 2010 at 6:53 am

    Thanks for the meat link.

  28. KD,

    That’s one of my favorite short stories. I always like to spread the meat whenever I can. Mmm… Spreadable meat!

  29. Chris Mac says:

    the fact remains..
    we can send it so we should
    we are the earth

    everything we do from the day we are born kills us so why be afraid of aliens killing us?

    embrace death as a means to be more productive while your alive


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