What does it say that this was written back in 2002 and things have only gotten worse? Or that it doesn’t sound as satiric these days as it did back then given some of the statements made recently?
Here’s one article that says the Pope should do more than just saying pedophilia is sinful.
UPDATE: Since there are so many who apparently aren’t smart enough to click links or recognize satire when they see it — DISCLAIMER: THIS IS SATIRE except where it represents the truth. Yes, that last part was satire, too. Maybe.
Calling forgiveness “one of the highest virtues taught to us by Jesus,” Pope John Paul II issued a papal decree Monday absolving priest-molested children of all sin.
“Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us,” said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter’s Square. “That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds.”
“As Jesus said, ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone,'” the pope continued. “We must send a clear message to these hundreds—perhaps thousands—of children whose sinful ways have tempted so many of the church’s servants into lustful violation of their holy vows of celibacy. The church forgives them for their transgressions and looks upon them not with intolerance, but compassion.”
[…]
“By forgiving these children, primarily churchgoing boys between the ages of 5 and 15, the pope has shown true Christian kindness,” said Father Thomas O’Malley, a member of the New York archdiocese and one of the many priests implicated in charges of sexual activity with minors. “The pope is saying that, in their own way, these sinful youths are victims, too. Through their absolution, he sends the important message that empathy, contrary to what naysayers and critics in the secular media would have us believe, does have a place in modern Catholicism.”
You realize that you’re quoting the onion, right?
That is sooo sweet of him.
…sorry, should read “sooo sweet of it.”
The priests are not guilty of anything, but the kids they molested are?
Remember the old days when women wearing miniskirts caused men to rape them?
Sounds like the Pope is an old-fashioned kind of fellow.
I know this is just a blog and not held to the same standards as a news source, but to quote the SATIRICAL Onion without making that clear is WEAK!!!
“Or that it doesn’t sound as satiric these days as it did back then given some of the statements made recently?”
That’s enough of a disclaimer.
Sick.
Yeah, this sounds real good…
Dvorak quotes story “The Pope Forgives the Children who Caused Priests to Molest Them” without citing source; The Onion
Massive #DvorakFAIL for not directly, unambiguously noting that this was quoting the satirical FakeNews site The Onion. Common’, John, you’re better than this — send Uncle Dave elsewhere to do his Catholic bashing…
#1, 5, 8, 9: There is something seriously wrong with you people. The word ‘satirical’ doesn’t clue you in? Ragi (#6) is apparently the only one who took the effort to click on the link next to the picture.
#8: Do you see John’s name as the one who posted it?
Uncle Dave – Bullsh!t. When you write “..doesn’t SOUND as satiric these days as it did…” I interpreted that as meaning that the item was real, but SOUNDED satiric, not that is WAS satiric. I’m not fan of the “Church”, but this was just plain POORLY done. Own up to it.
Probably best to revise the category to reflect that this was satire.
Obviously anyone that bothers to click one of the source links will immediately become aware that the source is “The Onion.”
For those unfamiliar, The Onion is a dedicated satire venue.
Cheers!
—RASTER
Uncle Dave was very clear on his approach. He gave 2 links… one of an old Onion satire, and one of current news… and commented that the [Onion’s] satire is not as far fetched today, as it was 8 years ago when it was written. pretty straight forward unless you didn’t read the whole thing and jumped to a wrong conclusion.
When he was still Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, Pope Benedict instructed bishops to report abuse cases to the Vatican in secrecy and not to inform civil authorities. The man in the papal clown suit is a hypocrite.
you know these buggers are blaming the devil for these child abuses.
mind this guy is rampant with idiotic ideas remember his solution to hiv epidemic.
lets face religion isn’t known for it logic.
You got to wonder if they believe their own crap they are saying? The Catholic church reminds me of some sort of boys club only from ancient times. Their whole makeup puts others as peasants and degrades their status. I really believe Evil has infiltrated the church.
The priests were lobbying for a good spanking instead.
fuck you uncle dave
Everybody happy now? Perhaps someone would care to discuss what’s really happening in the Catholic Church instead of attacking the messenger or is that not as much fun?
They need to put a nun on the papal throne, someone who can clean house! http://tinyurl.com/yhm2rv7
>> Uncle Dave Said
>> Since there are so many who apparently aren’t smart enough to click links
I agree. You have to be pretty darn stupid not to check Uncle Dave’s sources!
I read the article after the “satire warning” was applied.
However, I think it is fascinating that people would think the Pope actually would blame the children.
So many people are so cynical of the R.C. Church and of religion in general, they will believe almost any claim them. This, of course, breeds the cynicism.
Not that I think the cynicism is completely groundless. But, still, some of the cynicism goes way beyond reality and facts into the irrational. (by the same people who claim to be guided by logic!)
While this is satire — here’s what’s not:
blaming the rape victim (child or not).
In every Muslim country I’ve lived in, the presumption of guilt was on the woman. In Pakistan, a woman had to have four male witness to attest to her innocence!
It’s better in American law, of course, but many people still immediately assume the woman “invited” rape or that her claims of rape are really just sex remorse.
… I meant to add that the thing about Pakistan was explained to me several times. However, I never personally checked out the legal code.
>>You have to be pretty darn stupid not to check Uncle Dave’s sources!
Bullshit. I come here for entertainment, not research opportunity.
The very first comment post says “…onion”, and thats how I knew it was satire. Otherwise that tiny detail would have sailed right past me.
Eat shit and die Dave
When I come to this blog, I will only click the links half the time. I think this might be a learning opportunity for all of the contributors. Why not name the source above the quoted section of the article. Just seems more honest.
For instance:
Source: THE ONION
Calling forgiveness “one of the highest virtues taught to us by Jesus,” Pope John Paul II issued a papal decree Monday absolving priest-molested children of all sin.
“Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us,” said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter’s Square. “That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds.”
Shows how close to the truth it is that so many of you fell for it.
Kudos U. Dave.
Everybody chill. If you came to this blog hoping to find reputable journalism, it’s time to count to ten slowly then go get a glass of prune juice.
Thank god it was the Onion after all.
more BS from “uncle dave”, you know the one that likes his nephews a bit too much
you don’t post a satire on a “news” site with the same headline because it’s misleading. You know to expect outrageous headlines on the Onion itself, not here
I don’t know why people are so upset, virtually every Uncle Dave post over the years has contained one bald-faced lie or another. Readers should be accustomed to this.
I think he’s actually some Dvorak social experiment in trolling.