 “The Devil made ‘em do it!” |
Sex abuse scandals in the Roman Catholic Church are proof that that “the Devil is at work inside the Vatican”, according to the Holy See’s chief exorcist.
Father Gabriele Amorth, 85, who has been the Vatican’s chief exorcist for 25 years and says he has dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession, said that the consequences of satanic infiltration included power struggles at the Vatican as well as “cardinals who do not believe in Jesus, and bishops who are linked to the Demon”.
He added: “When one speaks of ‘the smoke of Satan’ [a phrase coined by Pope Paul VI in 1972] in the holy rooms, it is all true – including these latest stories of violence and paedophilia…”
Father Amorth told La Repubblica that the devil was “pure spirit, invisible. But he manifests himself with blasphemies and afflictions in the person he possesses. He can remain hidden, or speak in different languages, transform himself or appear to be agreeable. At times he makes fun of me.”
He said it sometimes took six or seven of his assistants to to hold down a possessed person. Those possessed often yelled and screamed and spat out nails or pieces of glass, which he kept in a bag. “Anything can come out of their mouths – finger-length pieces of iron, but also rose petals.”
He said that hoped every diocese would eventually have a resident exorcist…
He’s also head of the Exorcist’s Union. I’d love to listen in on contract negotiations with the Pope.
If you believe that an invisible man who lives in the sky created everything, then it’s not much of a stretch to blame all the world’s problems on a guy with pointy ears and a pitch-fork.
Hmm. When I put it that way, all these religions seem a bit silly. Except for snake-handlers – they’ve got it exactly right.
#31 Christians can actually call upon God to neutralize poisons. We have shut down the adverse side effects from chemotherapy numerous times over more than a decade. We have neutralized carcinogens the same way. We have saved organs that were shutting down by neutralizing the poisons in those organs.
All of this is done without using the power of suggestion.
#29, Timuchin, “sorry to upset you by punching a hole in your Humanist worldview.”
Timuchin, it’s too late for apologies. I’ve already asked Satan to throw books off a book shelf at you.
#33, no books from any of my seven bookcases have moved. I am skeptical of your claim.
Satan might be lost in the interwebitubes at the moment. Regardess, He will pick the time and place, and when it happens you’ll know who is responsible.
Say, have you thought of going national with your organ saving program? How many can your group save in a day? Have you approached the Obama administration yet?
Are you organ-ized?
a god and a satan have a nice little racket taking place on this little planet. The god tells the people of the planet that he can make sure nothing happens to them if they give total loyalty and service to him. This god makes it perfectly clear that he can not be held responsible if say a satan would reck havock with the planet and its people because the people aren’t obeying him. For just a little loyalty and service, the people of the planet can have protection from this satan.
Please leave all donations at the door.
#35, secular medicine provides the livelihood of a huge number of corporations and people. They have the money to crush a little startup like me. Especially since I don’t charge at all.
When miracles happen the secular doctors call it “faulty diagnosis” as though the disease must never have been there to begin with. It doesn’t fit into their worldviews.
A bit off topic but check out Dante’s Inferno the animation 🙂
Animation is so-so but story fits right at home here 😀
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5) Book Throwing – $5.99
6) Organ Poisoning – $1.99
There are of course many other more spectacular effects that can be negotiated, like Failing Brakes ($99.00) or Runaway Acceleration ($159.00)… which is growing in popularity…. or any combination you desire. A particularly good combo was recently executed flawlessly… a ‘Runaway Acceleration’ combined with a ‘Bankruptcy’ and ‘Public Humiliation’.
AND, we have done over 70,000 requests by the Pope himself!
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#37, no, when so-called miracles happen, secular scientists (ie those who actually know better) say, “No, it didn’t”.
Here’s a story: James Randi, the famous de-bunker of claims like the one you are making, visited a fellow who claimed he’d been cured of his diabetes after visiting a faith healer.
Randi: “So, you say you’ve been cured of your diabetes”
Man: “Yes, fully!”
Randi: “Can I talk to your doctor about that?”
Man: “Absolutely. I mean, he won’t agree with me…but you can talk to him”
Randi: “I notice you have some insulin needles there.”
Man: “Yes, so?”
Randi: “If you’re cured of diabetes, why do you still take insulin?”
Man gets very quiet, puts his head down, and in a sad voice says, “The devil makes me take it”.
…
‘Devil Makes Me Take Insulin’ – only $14.99
Wow, this has turned into one of the weirder threads. It’s entertaining ala Jerry Springer. Now if we just had pics of possessed lesbians, we’d be all set here.
BTW, if we called in Exorcists to clean out Congress, they’d be casting out the Democrats.
This blog may be “uncensored,” but it sure took a while before I was allowed to post again.
#40, I could talk about Joseph Stalin being a humanist and then imply all humanists are evil. But that would be false. Likewise for your notion of Christians.
#30 Skeptic of the AOBCCS
To quote Zapp Brannigan: “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.”
#43, who said anything about Christians? I’m talking about faith healers, like yourself. Faith healers don’t have the powers they claim they do. Period.
“the Devil is at work inside the Vatican”
This makes perfect sense, since God is not. If you make a side by side list of what Catholics (as a whole, a group, religion) do VS what the bible says, you will QUICKLY see that catholics are not Christians in a very real sense of the word. They claim to ‘believe’ and ‘follow’, but they do NOT obey the commands and principles clearly laid out in the bible. Period.
Skeptic, where is the frakin iPad app? Please tell me there is a twitter account.
If you haven’t picked a theme song, may be AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds might be appropriate.
I like faith healers that push people to the ground. Someone gets healed of polio but dies because of brain damage from the fall. All you can say then is ooops.
http://5z8.info/asian-brides_z9j5m_myspace-of-sex
Anyone who would willingly drive a SmartCar is obviously possessed. For that matter, belief in AGW proves Satan is alive and well and active.
Oh shit, some books just moved on my Kindle.
TIMUCHIN post #21, 24, etc etc etc…..
Religoous peeps like this make me proud to be an atheist. But guys like him will make it out that I hate god. I can’t hate sombody else’s phalicy. I really am confused how he isn’t recieving mental help though.
#51: Most religious people that believe in magical good guys and bad guys in the sky have a tenuous grasp on reality, but will maintain that those good and bad beings exist, even though the rest of us never have to deal with those invisible beings in our lives. At least they have houses of worship so they can talk about their delusions and not bother the rest of us with their religions.
There do exist good and bad people of course.
One side comment: it’s “fallacy,” not “phalicy,” which is way too close to another bad word. Just so you know.
Priest off duty:
http://tinyurl.com/yzm2p8o
#43, Timuchin, re:”This blog may be “uncensored,” but it sure took a while before I was allowed to post again.”
Sorry Timuchin, I was testing ‘Upload Interference’ ($42.95) Nothing personal. Say, don’t be shy Timuchin, I can fill a request for you. Satan works with Christians all the time. A favorite is the “Free Drink With Your Hot Dog” illusion ($76.99)
C’mon people! My Paypail is empty!
Priests have been raping Nuns and sodomizing Altar Boys SINCE DAY 1 IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH !!! And then they blame the victim or say “the devil made me do it !!!
***ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY*** !!!
STAY AWAY FROM THESE RAVING MANIACS !!!
#44, qb re:“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.”
That would be the “Lucky but Impotent” package. ($34.99)
… but it doesn’t work on cartoons.
Satan and I came up with Murphy’s Law.
Timuchin, if you really believe in all the crap you have bee espousing here, you are seriously mentally ill. You need to get yourself off whatever drugs you are playing around with. You need to get to a good psychiatrist as soon as possible, otherwise you’re likely to find yourself being committed to an asylum for the criminally insane.
#36, bac, “Please tell me there is a twitter account.”
Sorry, Satan’s too busy…. earthquakes, tsunamis, methane….
#48, Sister Mary Hand… that stained glass window was commissioned by that priest. He ordered my “Free Drink With Your Hot Dog” illusion ($76.99), at least 100 times.
um… Paypail still empty people….
Re:#50, Special Ed, if the “book” on your Kindle moves again, tell Satan to get his fat ass out of the interwebtubes, and go find Timuchin’s REAL bookcases. He’s got 7 of them for Christ sakes! That can’t be too hard even for Satan. (He can be such a moron.)
And don’t let him give you any lip.