I guess they had the equivalent of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ back then.

Elton John believes that Jesus was “a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems,” he tells Parade magazine. Not that you’ll actually read it in Parade magazine. You’ll have to go to Parade.com to find that little tidbit. We wonder what question writer Dotson Rader asked that prompted that remarkable answer. “What’s your take on the sex life of major deities?”

Anyway, back to Jesus: “On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.”

Perhaps you can contact Jesus via his phone to discuss this with him personally. I wonder what Joseph of Cupertino would have thought of this.




  1. Angel H. Wong says:

    Of course Jesus is gay, why?

    He likes to hang out with butch men.
    The women he befriends are the slutty type.
    And he likes the feel of little boys sitting on his lap.

  2. Father says:

    Gay or Bi?

  3. Higghawker says:

    I think Elton needs to read Romans chapter 1.

  4. Curtis E. Flush says:

    Why is there a picture of Kenny Loggins next to one of Elton John?

  5. Mr. Glum says:

    Jesus would have attributed “what makes us so cruel” to original sin. Also, gayness. Of course, the reason he was here was to forgive sins, taking away the sins of the world – not to accept them.

  6. sargasso says:

    Elton for Archbishop of Canterbury.

  7. get real says:

    All this hubbub about an imaginary dude! Why people still believe in a 2000 year old story told by goat herders who never met or laid eyes on “jesus” is beyond me. You guys are really sad.

    Remember, only sheep need a shepherd.

  8. Floyd says:

    #3: Those rants in Romans (and his other books) are simply Paul’s opinions. Paul is a human writing down his own opinions, but you have to keep in mind that Paul was a fanatic. Dude thought Jesus knocked him off his horse, and he wasn’t quite right after that.

    The texts in other “sacred books” in the world are also someone’s opinions. Some deity didn’t write them down either, people did.

    Elton John has his own opinions of course…as do we all.

  9. Dr Dodd says:

    #7-get real-Remember, only sheep need a shepherd.

    I see that you got your nightly dose of Chris Matthews and MSNBC.

    What was that about sheep?

  10. get real says:

    #9 “I see that you got your nightly dose of Chris Matthews and MSNBC.

    What was that about sheep?”

    You know what happens when you ASSUME? You make an ASS of U and…..well yourself really. I don’t genuflect to any newscaster or network. I wont make the assumption you are a Beck or “O’RLY?” fan butothers may.

    I tend to look at many sources and come to my own conclusions. No sheep here, sorry.

  11. Dr Dodd says:

    #10-get real-I tend to look at many sources and come to my own conclusions. No sheep here, sorry.

    Then judging by your conclusions you must be a Harvard graduate. This is based on Obama being an alleged Harvard graduate and his tendency to always be wrong.

    Something in common with the President… this must be an exciting moment for you.

  12. Dallas says:

    How many straight guys would wash the feet of his male followers? Just say’n.

    Really. In a those blood thirsty times it was a special person to challenge those in control. I give him that.

  13. Loupe Garou says:

    #11 “Then judging by your conclusions you must be a Harvard graduate.”

    Nah, he’s not a Harvard graduate. He hasn’t asked us if we want to super size that and add a hot apple pie yet.

  14. Dr Dodd says:

    #13-Loupe Garou-super size that and add a hot apple pie

    FTW! … too funny.

  15. JimD says:

    Most “Christians” don’t follow The One Commandment of Christ, and don’t even know what it is !!! Christianity has been TOTALLY CO-OPTED by the POWER AND GLORY BOYS, for THEIR OWN POWER AND GLORY !!! For you own and your children’s sanity, STAY AWAY !!!

  16. brm says:

    he always struck me as more of an asexual.

  17. woody says:

    Elton John has sucked the doo doo off of another man’s dick. Itz called double dipping. I just made that up. But I’d be happy to stomp the shit out of that British faggot…oops, british faggot is redundant.

    Woody

  18. Sister Mary Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection says:

    Was he a pitcher or a catcher?

    /inquiring minds

  19. Steve S says:

    When you are a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I think Elton is looking at the world through gay colored glasses.

  20. Glenn E. says:

    Gays seem to have no end of need for legitimacy and acceptance. So they keep seeing themselves in major historical figures. Especially, the most moral ones. As if to declare God’s approval of their lifestyle.

    But where some Roman pagans might be gay or bi. It’s highly unlikely any Jews of that era were. And a true holy man (not just someone posing as one) such as Jesus. Would be totally removed from the need or desires of the physical body. So sexually would be totally irrelevant to such a being, so focused on the spiritual.

    But gays are just the opposite of this. Being totally focused on (or obsessed with) the physical. And they’re probably more bi-sexual than they realize, or care to admit to. But prefer to assume the extreme opposite to hetero, rather than the sexual “middle ground”, out of fear of rejection by both sides.

    None of which has anything to do with defining the limits of spiritually. But you can’t tell gays this. They believe everything they think about is spiritual, since it doesn’t adhere to a “normal” lifestyle. And there’s no “bad” opposite lifestyle. So theirs must be a spiritual one, they think. But this is just the result of a narrow understanding of a the human condition. Believing that there is ONLY a physical need. And that religion is just an artificial set of rules, holding them back.

    Well religion is also what keeps them alive. Otherwise they’d all be killed off as threats to the healthy continuance of the human species. So while gays might reject most religious codes, and pretend Jesus was gay to help themselves cope. They are enjoying the freedom to exist, because of religious tolerance. So they better stop pissing off Christians, or this might change very quickly.

  21. Steve says:

    I like that Chocolate Jesus that Tom Waits sings about.

  22. Len says:

    Ah you religious folk always make laugh, what with your “JESUS WASN’T GAY” and don’t screw with us attitude. Of course he was gay. That is, if he existed. There’s no evidence that he did exist, after all.

  23. deowll says:

    Everybody tries to make Jesus into what they want him to be.

    He had a kind heart.

    He was very forgiving.

    He went by the book.

  24. Somebody says:

    “And a true holy man … such as Jesus. Would be totally removed from the need or desires of the physical body.”

    Umm, Which is why he never ate or drank.

    What rubbish!

    The whole point of being a cult leader is so you can score continuously.

  25. sargasso says:

    #23. we’re not sure whether you’re being sarcastic or profound. try punctuation.

  26. qb says:

    If Jesus were alive today, he’d be skating for gold in the Olympic Men’s Figure Skating final.

  27. Rick Cain says:

    Any guy who hangs out with 12 other guys all the time is either gay, or in a football fraternity.
    I don’t see you carrying a pigskin, jesus.

  28. Orange says:

    Intel says, doubtful things are uncertain. So don’t soil yourselves primus usus. Jesus was the Midnight Rider and it’s always a minute to midnight.

  29. Lone Wolf says:

    Compassionate? Intelligent? Guy? Elton John John needs to read the new testament. There is nothing to indicate Jesus’ sexuality and he wasn’t a good person.

  30. amodedoma says:

    Does anybody really care what Elton John says, thinks, does,…?
    OTOH I don’t understand why so many of you seem to be provoked into commentary every time religion comes up. Some people find spiritual guidance and solace in reflecting on metaphorical stories and personages, so what’s the big deal?
    Religion and sex, sounds like troll bait.
    BTW, there is no god, the universe is perfect, symmetrical, and everything happens for a reason, humans are just too primitive and dim to be able to perceive it, get over yourselves.


1

Bad Behavior has blocked 3956 access attempts in the last 7 days.