The Church of Reality (yes – the one I started) has been DENIED in it’s lawsuit with the DEA in order to get legal religious marijuana for it’s members. The Church intends to ask for a rehearing on the basis that the decision fails to address 90% of the issues raised and was a memorandum decision which isn’t appropriate for a case of first impression that requires the strict scrutiny standard. The decision is basically a blow-off decision. Here’s a link to the decision.
B, b, but Marc, this is what I’ve been practicing all my life in the privacy of my own heart. How could altering one’s perspective through a combination of faith and weed NOT be the one true Reality?
Infidels need not light up.
You can’t build a faith on love. You need a martyr, someone charismatic, suffering delusions of self importance, maybe thinks he has supernatural powers, and who smokes shit loads of skunk.
Gee Whiz Marc==you must have known “the rules” before filing suit. Why the frack didn’t you invent a religion that DID have MJ as a key requirement–or atleast lie about it when the question was put to you?
You don’t even have the faith of your own made up religion. What’s it all about Alfie?
The court gave you the outline–make up your next religion based on “if you don’t smoke MJ every full moon, your soul will rot in hell forever AND you are required to walk nekkid in the streets until you free based cocaine to make up for your sins.
I mean, are you religious or not?
Arg! Bobbo got there first!
Marc, just claim you’re an offshoot of the Rastafarians.
This is quick review. Just as dumb as all other religions. They don’t believe in an afterlife but rather that a “real” Rasta will live forever. AND just how many examples of THAT do they have?
Still, Marc==yea–become a “Conservative Bedrock Old Times RastaMan” and you “might” get an exemption.
Damn, and I built a nice bong that looks like a cross.
Try this on for size, Pastor Marc:
In the origins of mankind, we were created with extraordinary powers of imagination that allowed us to easily contemplate and commune with our Creator. Imagination was necessary because the Creator had no physical form for us to see with our eyes. As it turns out, these powers of imagination emanated from an exceedingly intelligent design that included blood containing significant traces of THC as part of its normal composition. These molecules of THC interacted perfectly with certain receptors in our brains in a manner so exquisite that it was inarguably the result of a superior plan.
However, there was an evil presence upon the earth that sought to separate us from our Creator, and when God wasn’t looking, this evil force altered our DNA so that our bone marrow no longer produced any THC for our blood, and it made another evil change so our livers would begin filtering out any existing THC from our blood.
Even though the Creator later discovered this tampering, she was in “hands-off” mode at the time and did not act to prevent or reverse this evil. However, in an act of sheer mercy, she planted a special herb upon the earth that would act as a divine source of the THC that had so wrongly been taken from our original bodies.
We must use cannibis to temporarily restore our original state of communion with the Creator, and the practice of our religion utterly depends on it. We can’t say precisely what fate awaits us if we reject the generous gift we’ve been given, but we shouldn’t be shackled with an imperfect law of our society that forces us to accept that fate.
Does anyone have a lighter?
P.S. If you decide to use my history (doubters might say myth) explaining our path back to grace with our Creator, I would appreciate consideration for free sainthood in the Church, after which you might consider charging a hefty fee in order to fund the inevitable legal fight with the IRS.
It was probably all the spelling and grammatical errors in your submission.
Try proofreading.
I would blame the weed, but I know it improves my sentence structure.
Hey Bobbo! Rasta – A religion we can BOTH enjoy!
(After all, if we’re perpetually wasted, who cares??)
And now let us Pay to the Virgin Mary Jane. Goddess of the Holy Rollers Divine keepers of thy Holy Smoke.
Wasn’t this the church that was in super high me?
Claim that your god is a pain in the ass, which requires medical marijuana.
I support your church and elect Doug Benson as the pot-messiah. Considering the use of pot, maybe the church should be called “Church of Altered Reality”? 🙂
#13 ha! or maybe a cure for religious-based myopia?
Hey thc helps glaucoma right?
Well I am not surprised they turned it down.
When you state that your “religion” will continue without it you shot yourself in the foot. This is straight out of high-school in execution.
But then the whole church idea is crap anyway.
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Marc,
If you are going to start your own religion, it has to be within the guidelines of current society. If this had been a continuing religion, such as most Native Americans practice, then you would have a leg to stand on. As I see your case though, it is a waste of time.
Simply put, inventing a religion as a method of skirting established law won’t work.If you succeeded then the next church might decide possessing kiddie porn to be a sacrament.
Wow. This is BEYOND stupid. As an atheist… I don’t care that you can’t distribute pot on the grounds that your “religion” condones smoking it. If I can’t get it easily, then neither should you.
I HATE that various different religious sects get special privileges. This is the VERY reason that Muslims get away with treating everyone in the world like crap: because it’s their religion–they believe that GOD wants them to be assholes. Whatever.
I don’t think that this “news” should be on th blog.