Above is Jack Nicholson’s famous scene from Five Easy Pieces. Below is from an inane argument with an IHOP manager who wouldn’t allow a Jewish vegetarian to substitute an extra egg for a pork sausage.
Manager: “Chickens are eggs.”
Friend and I: “What?”
Manager: “If you eat eggs, you’re eating chicken.”
Me: “Um. No.”
Friend: “Do you know how eggs are made?”
Manager: “Well, they come from chickens.”
Friend: “Yes, but they’re not actually chicken.”
Manager: “But they come from chickens, so you’re still using an animal.”
Me: “We know. We said we’re vegetarians, not vegans. We eat eggs and dairy.”
Manager: “You’re still using an animal though.”
How many of you have run into something similar where the ‘rules’ forbid substitutions, even if you’re willing to pay extra in a ‘customer is not always right’ establishment?
You can see the return of rules-obsessed culture today thanks to the Patriot Act.
Every minor authority thinks he can order people around, threatening to call the cops if you disagree.
9/11 was an inside job.
Does anyone else ever get tired of the whining from the minority that things should be different for them because of their lifestyle choices?
Why on Earth would anyone argue with the IHOP manager about whether eggs are chicken or not? Just order an egg on the side and be done with it. Why do people have to be so difficult?
It’s like the people who order customized sandwiches in an McDonalds drive-through. They’ve bothered to dumb down the ordering process to where all you have to say is a number. Don’t start asking for extra pickles and no mustard. It’s f’ing McDonalds.
#2: Yes, especially when I want something ‘my way.’
If you eat (chicken) eggs you’re not a vegetarian. Chickens were eggs. Eggs will be chickens (if left to hatch).
#2 I agree. I’m tired of Christians and want them to SHUT UP. There are 6 billion people in the world. Less then 2 billions Christians. So I’m sick and tired of this minority of superstitious lunatics and nutball lifestyle choice to believe in a magical invisible sky god that no one can see, hear or record and hasn’t been seen since the invention of the video camera. SHUT UP! Minority whining magical crazies. There aren’t invisible people floating in the sky telling you if you can eat bacon. Grow up! Your “lifestyle choice” is a joke.
World population: 6.6 billion
# Christianity: 2.1 billion
# Islam: 1.5 billion
# Secular/Nonreligious: 1.1 billion
# Hinduism: 900 million
# Chinese traditional religion: 394 million
# Buddhism: 376 million
# primal-indigenous: 300 million
# African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
# Sikhism: 23 million
# Juche: 19 million
# Spiritism: 15 million
# Judaism: 14 million
# Baha’i: 7 million
# Jainism: 4.2 million
# Shinto: 4 million
# Cao Dai: 4 million
# Zoroastrianism: 2.6 million
#3 McDonalds. in Austin you can’t special order because they do not speak English, case closed.
#5
Glad you cleared that up???????????
Ugh! It’s fucking IHOP. The menu says NO SUBSTITUTIONS! That applies even to you Mr. Jewish Vegetarian. You simultaneously criticize the restaurant for refusing to bend their rules while refusing to bend your own.
I swear that the majority of vegetarians became so because it gives them so many opportunities to be fussy assholes and bring attention to themselves.
BTW Uncle Dave – Mr. Jewish Vegetarian WAS NOT willing to pay for his extra egg. I have never encountered a restaurant anywhere that would not allow substitutions if the customer was willing to pay.
#5 Chuck – Interesting take on Biology there. You must have gone to Catholic School.
By your logic, my wife is having 12 abortions a year.
7. Glass Half Full.
I see your point. The whining minority that that the majority of the world is tired of and that needs to shut up are the non-superstitious nutballs.
RBG
Uh, Bdgbill, if you are willing to pay it isn’t a substitution, it is ordering a separate dish.
But I too am tired of everybody thinking they are “special” and that the rules don’t apply to them. Sure, it’s a stupid rule, but it was clearly enough stated. If you don’t like the rules at IHOP, go elsewhere or shut the eff up.
I used to have a friend who would insist on ordering special burgers at the drive through at Jack in the Box where the teen age help changed about once a month. I hesitate to think of how many lugies he ate over the years.
@ spsffan #13
I agree that if you pay, then it’s not really a substitution. I only mentioned it because of Uncle Dave’s comment in the post that said How many of you have run into something similar where the ‘rules’ forbid substitutions, even if you’re willing to pay extra
I also had an annoying friend who would order burgers without pickles and actually return the burger if it had pickles. I assume he also ate his share of lugies.
Um, I ate at IHOP saturday, near Asheville, and substituted red diced potatoes for the mashed ones… where does it say no substitutions?
#10: “Mr. Jewish Vegetarian WAS NOT willing to pay for his extra egg”
Never said he did.
#11, bill,
More like a dozen spontaneous miscarriages.
#7
I love those numbers..
NOW, you must add to them 1 thing..
PRACTICING or ABSTAINING or DONT GIVE A DARN.
I worked in Fred meyers for 8 years in retail..
A customer was looking in the paint department.
They wanted to paint a basement, cement.
I suggested a Paint for concrete, rather then LATEX, which is only a GLUE based paint and PEELS.
The person suggested I Mind my OWN business, and that HE HAD used this before, and it worked.
Fred Meyers went to a PAy system to PUSh products in Electronics. They would give you 1% of sales of major products but would give you 5% if you sold ADDITIONAL parts/cables/addons to the product, BUT it all had to be on the 1 sale.
Here is an idea sir I am jewish and I cannot eat pork (I thinks I is correct, muslims and orthodox) (deliberate grammar issue) please add an egg on the side and omit the sausage, I will pay the difference. Now if its a vegetarian, egg is not meat issue screw it gimme the whole damn pig.
vegetarians dont have any balls
There’s no point in going to IHOP if you’re not going to eat pancakes.