The Consumer Traveler reports:

In fact, these new machines have already been rendered obsolete by terrorists who are packing explosives up their anus. Don’t laugh. This technique has already been tested with lethal effect in the assassination a Saudi prince. The whole-body scanners can not detect that kind of hidden explosive. I only worry about TSA’s coming anus-scanning system. I’m sure it is in the works.

So, the scanners are only to increase the control of the State, pay off the big corporations that make the machines, and of course, for the airport guys to have some fun seeing you naked.

Oh, and the solution for stop being attacked is simple: (1), stop bombing the sh** out of the Middle East, and (2), let the airlines do the security.

Simple, huh?




  1. why_knot says:

    Why have them?
    Did you notice the new TV commercial where 2 ceramic knives are sold
    to anyone with $19.99? They are razor sharp
    and 100% non-metallic. Metal detectors will
    never detect these. Scary stuff.

  2. Faxon says:

    Travel by Amtrak. There is a book called “Faster” by James Gleick. In it, we discover that before there was a way to “absolutely, positively, get there the next day”, nobody HAD to “absolutely, positively, get there the next day”.

    The world was a much better place before the advent of jet airliners. Travel at 600 miles an hour is unnecessary. If you need to get to fucking New York so damn bad, take a few days off and take a train. Back in the days of rail, everyone was so much less stressed out. Can’t you all imagine how relaxing it is to watch the USA go by as you travel from place to place? Instead of looking at the tray in the upright and locked position for a few hours? On edge, scared to shit all the way?

  3. conrack says:

    Anyone that’s simple minded enough to think the moo-slimes will play nice, leave us alone and not hurt and kill us anymore as soon as we leave their lands and stop bombing them, is just smart enough to work anywhere in the Obama administration, perhaps for the outstandingly prescient Janet Napolitano and her TSA.

  4. Don Moore says:

    If the Terrorist has an explosive powder sewn into their clothing, sealed to prevent detection – no scanner is going to see it.

    They could be wearing jewelry made up of explosives, crushed into a powder when needed.

    This is not brain surgery here.

  5. Two to the Head says:

    “No way to save or transmit the image” …

    except the guy can take out his cell phone and take a snap of the screen and upload it to the web for all the world to see. Woohoo!

  6. tdkyo says:

    Dogs. We need lots of bomb/chemical sniffing dogs. (I am assuming they are effective.)

  7. serrin says:

    @ #1
    Actually that’s nothing new. Ceramic knives have been around for quite a few years.
    Composite weapons (firearms) have also been in existence for some time now.
    The problem is that every scare, real or imagined, creates more reasons for the TSA to get funds to buy more equipment. (think $500 hammer history). It’s the same phenomenon.

    This is instead of actually training and paying skilled agents to work at the gates.. which would make absolutely no sense at all. 😛

  8. Father says:

    I have seen reports that dogs get tired (or maybe bored) quickly (20 minutes?). They are great at the detection, but LOTS are required to rotate, and each dog needs LOTS of down time.

    I object to being searched by a man. I want to be able to select which agent searches my body, and the agents should be decent appearing, well groomed, women (straight, lesbian, or bi) and no transexuals or transvestites please. If the government is going to objectify my body, then I want the right to demand treatment that I find acceptable. Otherwise, I’m perfectly happy to stop spending my money on flying commercially.

    Having some potentially gay male agent squeeze my body for his enjoyment wierds me out.

  9. Zybch says:

    If the system has “no way to save print or transmit the image” then how can it be used as any sort of proof that someone is carrying a prohibited item in a court of law? Are we supposed to believe the testimony of the TSA thugs manning the checkpoints?

  10. Zybch says:

    Oh and #1, the ceramic knives all have small amounts of metal in them specifically so detectors and scanners CAN see them.

  11. qb says:

    “So, the scanners are only to increase the control of the State…”. Don’t worry, there are scanners in your bedroom right now but wearing a tin foil hat will help.

    Or maybe just do airport security that just works? But paranoia way more fun.

  12. Scubasteve says:

    Christoper Walken must be hard up for work these days.

  13. RBG says:

    Ya gotta love

    “Simple, huh?”

    Happy New Year guys.

    RBG

  14. Rick Cain says:

    How about we have a “muslim air” where we put all muslims on a separate flight….TOGETHER.

  15. LibertyLover says:

    #5, Look at Question #10:

    Can the Secure 1000 images be saved?

    And the answer:

    If saving images is enabled then the images acquired with the system can be saved on the system’s hard disk or transferred to floppy disk for training and legal documentation. The stored images can be recalled and viewed on the system monitor or on any IBM compatible personal computer with color graphics.

  16. mikepower says:

    The Saudi prince was not assasinated but only slightly injured. The explosion killed the bomber, no surprise there, and left a large crater in the floor.

  17. whatever says:

    Cherman,
    You’re a simple-minded idiot. Happy new years!

  18. joaoPT says:

    Statistically it’s less likely to die of terrorist attack in a plane, than it is of “natural” technical failures. That being said, it would be an interesting exercise to compare what’s being spent on this Theatre of Security vs. what’s being spent on “Real” technical and procedural security.
    This is just rampant paranoia, and the end result will be that less and less people will put up with that to fly to the USA.

  19. N74JW says:

    As onerous as the TSA is becoming with the conservative media and their fear-mongering, I don’t think anal bum scanners will be in a US airport any time soon. Even if the next muslim to celebrate ka-boom does so via an anally-delivered package, I can’t see the US public going for it. Perhaps that would lead to a rise in affordable charter aviation?

  20. Dallas says:

    Let me help…

    Scanners, like air marshals are not and never advertised as being fool proof. They are there to minimize and prevent a terrorist attack and there to provide the air traveling public a sense of security.

    Here’s another revelation but don’t be alarmed. Door dead bolts will not prevent an intruder from entering your home.

  21. darome says:

    Please increase the bombing in the middle east!! Bomb the shit out of the shit there otherwise they will come here!! How can you be so naive??? The solution to the problem is to eliminate to enemy not pussyfoot around those murderers. I suspect the gut who wrote this article is either a bleeding hard blind liberal or a member or supporter of the Muslim brotherhood. Lets see if you have the courage to publish this??

  22. qb says:

    Get drag queens to work in airport security looking for men with suspicious bulges.

  23. Reason says:

    Dear Cretins (esp #3),

    Let’s kill everybody but you and your friends. That’s the logical conclusion to your solution, right? You certainly are the enlightened future of the world. Christ calls you up for advice.

    Violence begets violence and does not solve it.

    But that fact escapes both you and the simple minds who blow up other people thinking it solves something.

  24. amodedoma says:

    There’s never going to be a 100% effective security measure. It all comes down to how you want to live. If you fly there’s a better probability of dying in an accident caused by improper maintenance, than in a terrorist attack. It has always been true, even back in the 60’s and 70’s when hijackings were commonplace. The US government needs to maintain a context of fear to keep it’s citizens motivated to fight unjustifiable wars.

  25. HeeHee says:

    How boring. The “usual suspects” show up with their ridiculous, hateful, ignorant, bombs cure everything, bulls–t.

    How nice to see other people post today. Some seem to be able to actually think. They must be here because they’re off from work due to the holiday.

    I do agree with the comments about useless, expensive equipment, though. Dogs are much cheaper and do an immensely better job, and if they get tired or bored, get more dogs.

    A happy and healthy new year to all, even the jerks.

  26. Skeptic says:

    So… what is a reasonable description of the terrorists we are looking for? We do have an idea of what to look for you know. Why don’t we concentrate our efforts on those suspects and give the majority of statistically safe passengers a break?

    Read the link in post #12. The Israelis can teach us a thing or two about effective security.

  27. Dr. DoLittle or not much anyway says:

    Wanna deter terrorist and bod explosives, circulate a picture of that asshole naked who just burnt his dick and balls off.

  28. LOWER CASE SCREEN NAME says:

    After the Whizzinator incident, Simply seeing a guys junk on a screen isn’t going to be good enough. The TSA needs to hire a ton of women to give a full handjob to every male flyer to make sure he’s functional and not just sporting an explosive prosthesis. Same thing goes for boobs, they could be fake and need to be fully massaged and checked out.

  29. RSweeney says:

    Since doctors can’t cure all disease, why have them?

  30. amodedoma says:

    So what are they gonna do when the terrorist decide to have explosives surgically installed, if you’re suicidal I imagine that it wouldn’t matter. Xray every passenger? No that’s no good. I guess one solution would be to heavily sedate every passenger and stick them in specially designed life support capsules then load them up like so much cord wood, no meals, no stewardess, no movie, no drinks, no peanuts. They could even wait to wake you up once your past customs and security. The way things are going I’d say the future might be like that.


1

Bad Behavior has blocked 5804 access attempts in the last 7 days.