Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials on Wednesday deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years had been living illegally in the United States under the name Lou Dobbs.
According to the Department of Homeland Security, federal agents stormed the undocumented immigrant’s home in an evening raid just hours after the 64-year-old newscaster suddenly announced that he was resigning from CNN, and immediately placed him on an Aeromexico flight departing from Newark Liberty Airport.
“Mr. Dominguez did not come quietly, but in the end he came,” said Sam Whitlock of the U.S. Border Patrol, who was injured during the arrest. “He pulled a knife on me, like they will, and swore a bunch in Spanish and spit on us when we finally managed to grab him by the serape and throw him against a wall. But the important thing is that he’s now back where he belongs…”
“This is a battle for the soul of our country,” Agent Jared Burns, 23, said as he helped the 17 Dominguez children board the bus that would take them to a detention facility where their legal status will eventually be determined. “Today is a proud day for any true American.”
You should probably write somewhere that this is from the Onion. People are going to think it’s real.
Yeah, the immigration problem is a real joke.
I watched Lou fairly often. Every time the subject came up he stated he was addressing ILLEGAL immigration but by and large that caveat is ignored.
To his critics==what actual real quote from Lou do you find objectionable??
I can think of a few myself but they weren’t on immigration.
If you aren’t willing to let every one else in the world come to the US, then you are a racist.
#5: The issue isn’t letting ‘everyone’ in. It’s making sure everyone who is here is here legally. Only people here legally should be allowed to stay. Kick everyone else out or have them go through the proper channels to become legal.
I don’t understand anymore why we think illegal means legal. All these immigrants think they make it over here they are magically a citizen?
Its a real problem that our government again has dragged their feet so long on. I am not sure much can be done now. It would cost too much to deport them. Best thing now would be to make them citizens and tax them like the rest of us. That way they would really know how American’s feel.
Hideous photoshopping
All you people clamoring to expell the illegal immigrants: You’ll change your tune when you find out how much more your produce will cost in the grocery store, how much more your restaurant bill will be, how much more your new house, your new roof, your lawncare will cost, once they have to start hiring Americans at wages high enough to work these sh*t jobs.
It’s a farce. You don’t really want to get rid of the illegals, you just want to keep them illegal so we can keep paying them below minimum wage.
We could stop illegal immigration easily: heavy fines on any business found hiring them. But we don’t do that, because we like our cheap prices.
Spare me your sanctimonious BS. The system is working just as we want it. And if some border towns and cities have to suffer with immigration-related crime, too bad. It’s an acceptable sacrifice for the rest of the nation to have our cheap prices.
And we loooooooove our cheap prices, did I mention that?
And let me be clear: I’m in favor of paying higher prices for my produce, restaurant bill, housing, lawn care, etc., if I know American citizens are doing the work.
Oh, and I forgot another benefit of illegal immigration: Every election Republicans use them to whip up fear in the electorate. Republicans especially don’t want illegal immigration to go away, at least not the rich ones who own the big businesses that profit from hiring illegals at below minimum wage.
Uncle Dave, so if they passed an amnesty, and a law that said everyone who wants to come here can come here and get citizenship, you’re OK with that?
#11 If we levied heavy fines on companies that hired illegals, we wouldn’t have to do that. If there are no jobs for them, they won’t come. Supply and demand.
Of course, then we’d have to deal with the higher prices for everything the illegals used to do.
You’re on the right track Phydeau,
Take it even further: illegals have little or no legal recourse for workplace abuse. Limited protection under the law. No civic status or enfranchisement. They’re basically servile labor.
Yes, they’re here because things are even worse back home, but I always get a good laugh whenever I hear people saying illegals are “ripping off” our system.
+1 #8. Whether in Portugal or Canada, that is clearly hideous digital photomontage. They must have subcontracted it to some third world country, like Mississippoli.
So, nobody thinks the “bad photoshopping” is inherently humorous???
#12, there wouldn’t be any illegals, so no fine.
Just anyone who shows up at the US embassy in there country will be given an entry visa and a green card.
#9
Healthy economy doesn’t revolve around cheap services.
We are in deep shit exactly because of people thinking like you – that if we move our industries and all production to “cheap labor countries”, if we hire “cheap labor” immigrants to clean our houses and babysit our children – that we will be wealthier that way? LOL
What a bullshit.
No country has ever got rich from exchanging services.
USA became strong thanks to WW1 and WW2 – the rest of theworld needed so many products *we* were making.
USA and most of the western countries are like paper tigers now. All you have left nowadays is some digits of digital money in the banks, and at best a paper stock in the so-called “american” companies that make their products entirely somewhere else in third world.
Even a fucking green onion is nowadays imported from Mexico – how sick is that?
Obviously the dollar is falling down – because people printing the dollar money don’t make anything else.
Your parents or grandparents didn’t have all these “cheap labor” legal or illegal immigrants in their country, yet they were making decent income by making american products for american consumers.
What do you have today?
At best your home. Anything else is provided to you by people from all over the world.
As soon as they realize your green buck has only the value of the paper it is printed on, you will have nothing – and all those “cheap labor” people you are so fond of today – they all will move to whatever another el dorado somewhere else will be for them, you bet.
#15 That Photoshop was so bad that I thought it was none other than John C. Dvorak being hauled away!
HAR HAR HAR!
Re the bad Photochops: It’s done *slightly* off on purpose, in keeping with the toungue-in-cheek attitude of The Onion.
Eggsellent Smithers! You’ve done your job well.
Ah, the ijits that don’t realize this IS NOT a photoshop. Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, better known as Lou Dobbs is finally being deported.
It must really bite to find out the hard way another right wing nut mouth piece is an asshole liar.