Walmart Shopping List
1. Socks
2. Paper towels
3. Batteries
4. Casket
5. Toothpaste
Although I intend to be cremated, at the low price Walmart’s charging, were I looking for an interesting coffee table…
There are other models available, too.
Not content to put the mom and pop stores out of business, the Bentonville, Ark., behemoth now wants to bury funeral homes. This is not some kind of zany Halloween marketing hoax — at least that we know of. Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retailer, is now selling … discount coffins. In the “For the Home” (?) area on the Wal-Mart website, feast your eyes on its entire line of inexpensive caskets and even urns, for all of your bereavement needs.
The prices of the Wal-Mart caskets are to die for. All but one of the coffins sells for under $2,000. The deluxe Sienna Bronze model sells for a still bargain-basement — in casket terms — price of $2,899. One of the least expensive model is the still lovely Lady de Guadalupe Steel Casket (see above) at $895. Another design sports a carving of “The Last Supper” by Leonardo da Vinci.
Seems it wold make a nice storage for my camera equipment. Nicely padded.
I want to see the doofuses at Walmart strap one of these onto the top of an SUV.
Heck at those prices I’ll get a few for Halloween decorations. Course I’ll have to strap it to the roof of my car to get it home. Kind of an elitist aren’t we Baggy? (#2)
Too bad it’s not large enough to hold 90% of the WalMart shoppers, unless of course you gave them an enema.
I’m waiting for “The Easy Bake Cremation Oven”.
#5,
Good one!
I dare someone to review the product.
– Better than my old cardboard box I use to live in.
– A bit stuffy and and doesn’t do wonders for my claustrophobia.
– Is their a more Gothic version?
– I had to return it but the funeral home forgot to take out the body, boy was that an experience…
opps – Is there a more Gothic version?
#3…at my Walmart, they’re doofuses.
Funeral industry reaction.
Funeral homes are insidious scams preying on people when they are at their most vulnerable.
Is there a Ralph’s around here?
I’m more interested in Walmart having baby delivery services. That would lower prices in a hurry.
#11: Take it further back. I can hear the announcement over the PA now: “Clean up spill at the Walmart Sperm Bank on aisle 5.”
“The interior bedding, so soft to the touch, is sewn and gathered by hand in a sky-blue chalet crepe adorned by an embroidered figure of the Lady de Guadalupe.”
Cozy.
Funeral homes rip people off. I’m generally not a Walmart fan, but if they can provide competition to funeral homes, I’m for it.
You know, I looked at these and I have one problem
They don’t come with a lifetime warranty!
I gave this same story to John yesterday with the title, Wal-Mart helping customers from cradle to grave.
Guess he didn’t pick up his email.
Cursor_
I don’t need a box or a piece of ground to store a body I am no longer using for eternity. When I die, just cut me up for spare parts.
A friend is a funeral director, her family owns the place…they’re not getting rich doing work you don’t even want to know about. Trust me, you want to pay someone else to do this job.
There are some shysters but there are a lot more honest ones, same as car mechanics. And not getting paid for certain ‘jobs’ is part of the deal.
#2 Baggy – Sounds like a plan if you have your kid riding in it so it won’t blow away.
I was just so dead I thought but I heard the sound of shoveling dirt. Could this be a bad dream from Edgar Allen Poe?
At least my family had been considerate when they bought this beautiful “Lovely in All Ways Stainless Steel Casket” from Wallyworld.
I hope my sister Eloise was smart enough and put it on my Credit Card. They put all my favorite things in the coffin on top of my belly so no one at the funeral could see. There was a six pack of coke, giant size Lay’s potatoe chips, a Big Mac and wait what’s this…my cell phone.
They have to milk you one last time.
Would You Buy A Casket From Walmart?
Only if my life depended on it. Otherwise I wouldn’t be caught dead in one.
My wife and I plan to be cremated, then have our ashes scattered in an appropriate place. No viewings, and certainly no coffins.
News just in….
Walmart Caskets Found to Contain Baby Formula Contaminated With Melamine.
China Issues Refunds for All Unopened Caskets.
CEO of Lucky Star Casket Co. Commits Assisted Suicide.
Meh… That should have been…
CEO of Lucky Star Casket Co. Commits Government Assisted Suicide.
LOVE all the “Out of stock” notices
Penn and Teller did an episode of their show Bullshit! where they showed how screwy the funeral home industry (and the way we deal with death in general) is.
Taking advantage of people in mourning to sell extras they don’t need (like coffin moisture barriers, deluxe coffin mattresses, or an upgraded box for cremation) is disgusting.
I’d buy one if I could get some of these people to carry me:
http://tinyurl.com/l4uhap
WTF is that on the roof?
Are these built in Chinese sweatshops?
Hell, I don’t care. All I want is a cardboard box that will hold together long enough to get me into the ground.
Mmmmmmm! Tree food.