I don’t know why, but I’m obsessed with advice columns. Not the answers, just the letters. Maybe it’s because of bizarre stories such as this one…

DEAR ABBY: For 15 years I was a happily married homemaker with a wonderful husband. “Duncan” and I attended church together, frolicked through the fields, even exterminated rodents together. He was my best friend. It was bliss.

Last year I found out my father had had an affair with Duncan’s mother the year I was born, which makes him my half-brother! The news was too much for my husband. He had a fatal heart attack not long after.

What should I put on his gravestone — “Loving Brother” or “Loving Husband”? — GRIEVING IN MASSACHUSETTS

I’m pretty sure this letter was a joke. Most people don’t fondly recall spending time exterminating rodents with their spouses. But if it’s true, ewww…. gross…..!




  1. Bob Dole says:

    Real news

  2. mal says:

    No idea what’s so gross about it, but i guess i’m a filthy european anyway. I’m mean, they loved each other right? I remember the word ‘bliss’ mentioned? so what? sure, there’s genetic risks involved when kids are born, but it looks like there wheren’t…

  3. Abby Sez says:

    Dear Relative Humidity

    Wake up and smell the coffee! You and your husbro were the victims. Not being raised together left you unable to benefit from the Westermarck effect.

    Plan A: Go to your father’s grave. Use jack hammer to destroy marker.

    Plan B: If your father is still alive. Shoot him, have funeral and go to Plan A.

    You’ll feel better.
    Abby Gayle

  4. bobbo, we all have issues says:

    “I don’t know why, but I’m obsessed with advice columns.” /// Makes your own problems seem minor and therefore you have hope?

    I stopped reading them after a glut of “I have too many girlfriends and ……” Who needs that shit?

  5. Henny Penny says:

    I stopped reading them after a glut of “I have too many girlfriends and ……”

    I quit reading them when I realized the columnists never wrote “Just tell ’em to shut the eff up and mind their own business.”

  6. rongallant says:

    …and afterwords he requested her to say “I’m your sister!” over and over during copulation.

  7. stormyday says:

    “I found out my father had had an affair with Duncan’s mother the year I was born, which makes him my half-brother”

    Father having an affair with Duncan’s mother does not make you a half brother unless the father fathered Duncan. It would be different if Duncan’s father had an affair with her mother the year she was born.

  8. Ron Larson says:

    First, this letter is a prank.

    Second, the letter doesn’t say that her and Dunkin had children. I’d think that would be pretty important, above shooting rats together. So even if true, their mistake wasn’t passed on to children, which is where the real problems caused by inbreeding manifests themselves.

  9. pokey says:

    SHOPPED!

  10. SN says:

    8. “First, this letter is a prank.

    Agreed. Dear Abby’s response makes it pretty clear that she’s in on the joke.

  11. Tiring Machine says:

    what a find hehe

  12. Judith says:

    SN, why is this gross? How old are you, 12?

  13. springfield_tom says:

    One of my favorite movies is “Lone Star”. (Chris Cooper, Elizabeth Peña, Matthew McConaughey, Kris Kristofferson). Yes, it’s relevant. Sorry for any spoilers.

  14. Jetfire says:

    Why is this gross? Hell look what Mackenzie Phillips did with her dad. If they were attracted to each other go for it. But since most of us have the Westermarck effect we think it’s gross. Now more gross then someone hooking up with someone I find repulsive.

  15. SparkyOne says:

    incest is best kept within the family

  16. Dick Dawkins says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if their last name was Kennedy! HAR!

  17. deowll says:

    Do a loving husband then find a replacement.


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